susi'y laging hinahanap
sa madilim na hinaharap
ayusin ang kasalukuyan
upang umaga ay mabuhayan

ang mundo'y umiikot,
mga tao ay nag babago.
unti-unti,
sila'y lalayo.

baka kulang pa nga,
ito'y hindi sapat.
siguro'y ika'y sabit lamang,
makakalimutan ka rin, balang araw.

everything is crushing,
my world became blurry.
my hands are shaking,
but my heart is not beating.

sorrow and chaos, intertwined.
hoping that this is not my time.
it's too early to say goodbye.
sadly, i am now going to die.

a world filled with plastics,
everyone seems to be floating.
the world is changing,
i am slowly fading.

i can't breathe.
my lungs are covered with dust.
they can't resist the lust.
hoping it would be the last
i can't accept the fact,
they are all covered with mask,

i wouldn't dare to ask.
they are toxic,
couldn't hide the fact.

"who are you?"
a question that pops to my head whenever i see my self on the mirror.
i don't know my self anymore.
asking my self to hide these tears more.

i am not like this before.
asking above what is this for?
i can't take it anymore.
it feels like my pain is asking for more.

i swam in the sea of chaos.
sadly, i am not a good swimmer.
i can't explain this feeling to others.
for my words are not even better.

a never-ending puzzle.
it is a series of disaster.
chaos and destruction.
it is how she describes her life,
carrying all the pain she has inside.

the sadness i felt.
is like torturing in hell.
running through my arteries and veins.
little happiness didn't spare.

throw me some fists,
and i'll just cut my wrist
but can't do this risk
this feeling that i cant twist.
too plenty to put it in my list.

it poured heavily.
she shouted extremely.
a heavy rain.
her heart, aching painfully.

the noise all over the roof.
the voices that can't get off.
invading her head,
she was ****** of.

the fast drops.
like her tears, it never stopped
a vision on her dream.
is happening for real.

Her sadness has overpowered her soul,
Her soul that was once a sky full of stars,
Became a sky full of scars.

Tired, Tired of hoping and everything
Couldn't sleep without begging,
Begging for redemption,
Because her soul was full of temptation.

"Sorry, I won't do it again"
That was her favorite line.
I couldn't bare listening at her all night,
Decided to knock at her door this time.

'Sorry, I am a sinner'.
A letter that she left at her desk,
Shocked of what I saw,
at that time I can feel her sorrow.

Her soul was full of sorrow,
Her heart was full of sadness,
That memory is hunting me again,
I'm sorry, I was too late to save you.

"You look fine"
That's what they say.
but I wake up every morning with a heavy feeling in my chest.
"You look fine" ,
But you don't know what's on my mind,
My mind is filled with dark thoughts.
And that dark thoughts became suicidal thoughts.
~
My sadness has overpowered my soul
My anxiety makes feel like a prisoner inside my own head.
A prisoner that can't get out .
My depression drags me to my bed.
Until my body makes me feel like I'm dead.
~
My heart is like a sponge squeezing by the dishwasher.
and it feels like every second I breathe makes me feel weaker.
They don't understand.
They don't know my pain.
A pain that won't end.
Because of this Chronic condition that doesn't have an end.