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727 · Oct 2012
Smile
Nik Krutilla Oct 2012
Your smile will be the ending of me...


*© NDHK
723 · Aug 2014
Chandelier Light
Nik Krutilla Aug 2014
You attract...
Silly little girl giggles with admiration and the "oh you're so funnies".
I can't be a silly whip of half meaning amusement.
I'm not that girl.
I can't be...

You don't want admiration.
No, you do want it but you don't need it.
You need someone who will look at you when she laughs and means it.
You need someone who's going to sit down across from you on some chaotic night,
A night where nothing about the day made sense
And you're still swirling in a fog of your own perspective.
That's when you'll need this woman.

A conversation that clambers up slow,
Like steadying yourself after a carnival ride.
You'll trigger a vulnerable ***** by a wayward comment.
That's when it will happen.
Blindsided be ruthless honesty.
A sharp cut through the bravado *******...

She'll take that loop and jump in head first,
Feet landing solid on your insecurities.
One by one all of the hidden thoughts about yourself will come to life.
Every one of your self loathing fears and regretted actions.
All the ever present flaws you hold in your hands will be taken and laid out...

One uncomfortable, excruciating reminder at a time.
Every quirk you hate,
Every past stumble into a wall,
Every stitch in the side of your pride will be brought to light.

Presented back to you through new eyes.
Picking and dissecting and analyzing,
Whatever it was or is,
That makes the ground you walk upon gravel filled.
All your shame and remorse could be embellished;
Projector like against the writing on the walls.
Things you wish to hide or fix would be emblazoned like a gaudy pin on your shirt.

Your inner mind dwellings, torn down to petty pieces at your feet.
All of this would be blown back into the mask you try to wear that's a size to big.
Once the pulling and scrapping of every bit of shadow feelings and impressions you have been harboring deep inside are collected...
Covering the table,
Strewn in no particular order.

This woman will pick it all up in a sweeping display.
Fluttering around in waves of bouncy escape.
She'll gather every last part and fold her hands.
Then slide them into her pockets that have remained unfilled on purpose.
That's where, the last however many hours, will stay.
Budded up tight and inside somewhere safe for you .

You'll look at the empty table.
Maybe with uplifted eyes.
You'll look back at the cause of this character dismembering.
And see that her eyes have never wavered.

I hope when you get that moment...
That moment that you can just sense is a profound thing.
I hope you feel real acceptance,
Real faith,
Real love.



*© NDHK
707 · May 2013
Kitchen Fire
Nik Krutilla May 2013
I anixiously wait
To feel the clawing
Of that body mania.
Reaching up for the burning
Taunt of wanton heat
You pour through my skin.

I want to have it swell
Inside so fiercely,
So unrelentingly
That it will blindingly
Consume my feather triggered nerves.

A wild animal barely contained
Inside this caged body.
Restrained passion sparking far out
As the wick of a firework.

Spin my mind into a tizzy
Tease and then give in,
And my body will melt
Like lava on the brink of
Building an island out of this.



*©NDHK
700 · May 2013
Tickling The Spine
Nik Krutilla May 2013
The high you give me.
No touch, no sound, just presence.
Trips me up every time.
Like a panic switch it runs,
Sending a fantastic current from top to toe.
Not sure whether to breathe or burn.

No wonder I chase you down
Like my next fix.

*©NDHK
686 · Sep 2012
Warming
Nik Krutilla Sep 2012
I hope you smile at me today...
Because this morning,
I missed the sun rising.


*© NDHK
686 · Sep 2016
Love Needs No Permission
Nik Krutilla Sep 2016
If we were only
Made of hearts
Seen by the way we beat and sway,

I fear that I will be found out,
The moment
That you
Look my way.
~
I have known
A heart or two
Who have tried to move in sync,

But rhythms never measured up,
And still
My heart
Would seek.
~
If we were only
Made of hearts
Searching for a love sublime,

I can't deny mine starts and stops,
And falls
With yours
In time.
~
If you never
Get the chance
To see my light that shines,

A sunrise hue my heart's adorned
With yours
So very
Close to mine.
~
But we're not only made of hearts,
So this truth
I'll proudly say.

Eternal rhythm
May flow
Through you,

But it's me
That's been
Swept away...


~ *©NDHK
680 · Jan 2013
Pass The Time
Nik Krutilla Jan 2013
It feels as though
You're peeling away layers
Of me.
With just your stare.
It's disconcertingly invigorating.
Having the awareness
Like someone is
Tracing my insides.
Like you're painting me
By numbers.
Erasing tiny fortresses
I've unwittingly constructed
As years went on.

Oh how it makes me want to stretch and scream...

I would parade in front
Of you.
To get a small thrill
From the exposure you don't know
You're causing.
What you must think
When you look
At me.
Your mind turning out
Notions.
Construing ideas
Of what pieces
Of what I am
Fit into what spots.

Am I a puzzle to you?

Do you secretly want to lay
Me on the floor
And find
All my edges first?
Seeing the whole of me
Come together.  
Figuring me out but
Still needing to place that last piece in
To be satisfied
By what you discover.

What a way to waste some hours...

Dissecting a persons' ego.
Knowing someone's dreams
And spirit.
Would I be fascinating
To you?

I would like to hope yes.


*© NDHK
679 · Jan 2015
To Stranger, From Woman
Nik Krutilla Jan 2015
THIS STORY IS FOR A STRANGER ABOUT A WOMAN

It's not exceptional nor is it extraordinary.
It just is...
A brief journey through a half life.
She was given home to be born into that was furnished with doubt and anticipation.
A surpirse gift.
She had parents who loved her and raised her.
An adventurous and curious child.
She made way into the territory of her youth that was sometimes dangerous and sometimes timid.
That didn't stop her from exploring and wondering.
Pushing bounderies of her own mind and the surrounding world.
She climbed the highest tree just to fall effortlessly onto the ground waiting for her.
What could of been an instant end resulted in a hospital visit.
Left to her was a concusion and a willfulness to conquer fear from then on.
She was learning but not alone.

Forward some years and the little girl becoming a woman.
Being of compassion and loyalty she was a good friend.
Maybe sometimes too good.
An irrational chain of events one night out of thousands more to come would test that girl.
A time where her will and mind had been altered irrevocably.
An innocence stolen.
Still she trudged ahead for there was still life to be lived.
Even though at times, she questioned if her's was worth it.
She was a fighter at the core.
Cause and effect may be taken into account at this point.
Things had changed for those around her as well.
Here she was unceremoniously given the duty of caring mother-like for a child sibling.
Thrusting through an abandonment of the other half of a two pillar support.
Naturally and with some rebellion she mustered up the task and did what she felt she had to.
It was not expected but necessary.
She was learning but not alone.

As time moved on she moved with it.
Experiencing love for the first time she lept into it with ferocious dedication.
Trying to use the knowledge she had witnessed and apply it to the grown up world.
In this endeavor, a garden to be planted where a flowerbed had stopped blooming.
From it a seed of life becoming and unbecoming before it's time.
A warning of maturity perhaps.
Then later a gift of responibility to come to fruition.
A living, breathing love.
Not without it's concequences though.
With this joy also came trepidation.
A new seed growing but with possibility of delays or death.
A birth defect, chromosome abnormality the doctors warned.
A lifetime of disability or a short lifetime resulting in eternal rest.
The girl knew that no matter what came about she would want to bring this life into the world.
It deserved a chance.
So with that a baby came immense joy.
And to this day no negative physical affects.
The gift she will be forever greatful for.
She was learning but not alone.

Years pass and memories are still being made.
People have been lost but not forgotten.
Now a woman, she masters her life with hopeful hands.
Her health was always a loose branch in the wind it seemed.
Sickness came in the form of kidney infection and dying organs.
Car accidents and permanent aches.
Feminine ****** duties being taken away.
Genetic self sabotage.
Mental illness and straining to swim above.
She was learning but not alone.

It was a long difficult road in a short expanse of time.
Her life that she was constantly improving and trying to understand.
Now brings us to the point of a recent harrowing situation...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2014
It's Christmas time last year and the snow is fickle.
Family is spread out and travel is a must for her little one to connect with everyone.
So she gets into her car to journey across the counties.
It's uneventful outside.
Work and bills and hobbies are what consume her daily life now.
But she is always focused on being a good mother.
So that's the reason for the ride, not the excuse.
Cruizing the same highway she's been down hundreds of times already,
She thinks nothing of it.
It's just what she has to do.
Traffic is sparse but other vehicles out now are semi trucks and hastily driving holiday commuters.
The radio is on and the child is in the back seat commenting on the passing scenery.
She is patiently answering questions and focusing on the road.
Up ahead of her some hundred feet on the snowless stretch she sees a car wiggle a bit.
Tightening her hands on the wheel she just knows this isn't right.
She can't move over to her left.
She slows down under the speed limit just in case.
But it's inevitable.
She's going over that samw spot in a few seconds.
Now as she does, her body suddenly kicks into instinctual safety mode.
The car doesn't wiggle.
It starts to fish-tail.
Hard.

Splotchy recollection takes over here.
From that exact moment, it could of been only a few minutes but it felt limitless.
As the car started to take a life of it's own she heard the voice of her daughter in the background.
A mantra of 'It's okay, we're okay" flooded out of her mouth automatically.
She tried to right the car but her hands could have been invisible at this point.
Half rotations from left to right eventually lead to doing a 180 degree motion.
Stopping the swivel just before the car impacted the dividing medium on the highway.
At unaided 55 miles an hour she was now looking into the windsheild of another car in the other lane.
The momentum pushing the slippery cage of metal backwards now.
She was a dichotomous fog of confusion and awareness.
Only lasting a few more seconds the car wipped it's way back East.
Sliding back into the lane it was originally in, it kept going.
She now could see the edge of the ravine getting closer.
Where the highway ended and darkness started.
A 20 foot drop if you fell sideways.
Scared chatter from the backseat.
Radio on.
And then suddenly nothing.
Like catching a glass from falling off the table the vehicle just stopped.
Everything turned off.
It was over.
Just sitting alone on the road.
No horns were honked and no one was hurt.
Her breathing was the loudest thing to be heard.
After looking back quickly to make sure her little girl was alright,
she closed her eyes for the first time since this all began.
That's when she felt it.
Something she has felt before but only faintly throughout her life.
When things were wonderful and when they spiriled down.
When she had felt great happiness and overcoming sorrow.
It was an electricity that bloomed in her belly and down her back simultaneously.
It grounded.
It soothed.
It overtook.
She was learning but not alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You could say it was a fluke or maybe luck.
For me it was something better, bigger.
As I continue on my life's path wherever it leads me, I just know.
I know that things happen for unknown reasons and we want to make sense of them.
Sometimes we can't.
All I can say is that by suffering through the pain and bad, we value and appreciate the good.
People have terrible situiations to live through but they live through them.
We find the meaning to our lives sometimes in mysterious ways.
Sometimes you have to attribute things to faith, undoubtedly.
And when it's not your time...
It's not your time.
I still survive.
What's your explanation of my story?
Something I haven't already thought of maybe?
When you can find another reason for it, let me know.
Until then I dare you...

Tell ME that GOD doesn't exist.


*©NDHK
659 · Jun 2013
Lights
Nik Krutilla Jun 2013
You had this haze
filling up the room.  
I couldn't seem to
trample through the maze
without following your
laughter.
I sat still
and molasses like
as I watched the colors
bounce from floor
to walls
back onto you.

The stiffness
in my smiling cheeks
was a soreness that
helped me enjoy
the realness of those
moments.
The thoughts running
dialogue through
my tethered mind
wanted to pour out
into the reality of then
but they held steady
inside.

Wondering
what if I could just
let loose,
melt enough
to spill on your floor
the ideas of conversation
between us.
I wanted to
loosen control
so...
badly...
to the point that
you would have
a front row seat
to the inner workings
of me.

Always a thinker,
an analyzer,
a day dreamer.

Snapping back into
the now of then
every so often
I was scared.
Scared
to believe that
a situation I have been
embarrassingly replaying
for months in my dreams
had come to
fruition.
Not wrapping my mind
around the truth
in front of me
that I was here
and you were here
and this was.

It's a vulnerable confession
that I had gained
extreme pleasure
in just your company.

In just your single company.

I wish
I could stop
doubting
the perception
you have of me,
but even more so
I wish I could
actually know.
In straight lined
bold words,
I wish I could
read out loud
what it is of me
you see.



*©NDHK
647 · Sep 2013
Ramble Me To Sleep
Nik Krutilla Sep 2013
It's so late again.
That time where thoughts won't lie still.
I won't ask you to tell me.
I'm not sure I'd even know the answer myself.
I think though, that I've waited long enough.
For myself.
Being a spontaneous person that's an achievement.
But I like to think it's worth it.
The waiting.
The patience.
Not sure if it's a lesson yet learned.
But the reason why.
That's what haunts me.
Why.
I'd just like to know.
I can't ask you though.
I'm not sure you could answer if you tried.
Maybe it wouldn't be fair to you.
But what's fair to me?
Keeping distance because you don't want inflict pain.
Or fear maybe.
Pretending was never a skill I excelled with.
I think I'd just like to start on the first page is all.
Take that step forward into new.
Am I asking too much?
I promise you what I have to give would be so much more.
Or should I give up?
Let be and walk away.
Take a chance that you'd come find me when you're ready.
I'm just stuck here.
Stuck with thoughts.
Like thoughts of what could be.
But what do I know?
It's not as if I'd ask you.
Cause it's my heart you could break.


*©NDHK
612 · Jul 2014
Glowbug
Nik Krutilla Jul 2014
Beautiful, lighted creature.
How could any,
Anyone with a heart beating of their own...
Not see the encompassing brilliance of you soul.
Fervent heart.
Fragile being.

Who would ever want to toss you away?



*©NDHK
612 · Jul 2014
Optional
Nik Krutilla Jul 2014
I am not a prim and proper wedding cake topper.
Nor am I the quick-time drop her, ***** girl offer.
Varied between.

My mind, blind to the shallows of relationship seas.
My feelings run deep like haunting melodies.
Honestly offered.

Complex in my simplicities and transparently guarded.
Running lava-hot inside these walls hard hearted.
Softly contained.

But like a second read to a book that has been skimmed through before.
Welcoming now a chance for someone to want to explore.



*©NDHK
611 · Dec 2012
Crave you
Nik Krutilla Dec 2012
You said I look at you different now,
Something in my eyes...
I don't think I do.
I don't feel strange
Or out of my norm.

I enjoyed you.
The long talks we shared,
The unexpected laughter we found there,
The pull.
The comfortable embraces that overtook us,
Into the middle of the night...


Though...
As days passed on,
And months grew.
I realized what you said was true.
And I had been looking at you.
Not just stopping there but,
I had been feeling too.

That isn't something that I do.
Feel...
Animated...come to life like.
Looking forward and looking new.
Growing out from myself.

But that is exactly what I was doing.
All while looking at you.
While you said I was amazing and inspiring.
You seemed to think as I did.
For those were thing I would describe in you.

So I have to wonder.
For how long has this been stirring in me.
And why do I just recognize it now?
And maybe...
Just maybe,
You have been looking at me too.....



*© NDHK
584 · Jul 2013
Working On Progress
Nik Krutilla Jul 2013
I have always wanted to reveal my parts to you.
The ones that outline the framework of a work in progress.
This hopeful woman that yearns for compassion to her passion.
A want of understanding but understanding that, just the wanting to, is enough.

I can't show you the photos in my mind to connect you to my stories.
So I'll have to settle with painting fragrant pictures with my words.
Using my tongue to splash the sunset of August across the wonder of my childhood.
Pulling my lips wide and bright walking you through the many moments of my self discoveries.
Eyes of sorrow emulating deep winter rains of learning life the hard way.
Plucking the air with fingers that have raged and comforted, that have fought and prayed.
This ballet of language from my body
can lead you through the was and where of what is here and now.

Although, like photos that have been neatly arranged to progress a lifetime,
the learning of this person I am will still be a too dimensional saga.
Unless the tools which I've given are used to paint and sculpt me into something you can hold.
So mold and unfold the parts of me
you have come to know.
Then forget everything you've learned and just
Love me as a whole.






*©NDHK
582 · Jan 2013
6:26am
Nik Krutilla Jan 2013
I just wish that
When I opened my eyes
I could see an answer
Instead of a forlorn face
Through these tears blinding my sight.


Staring back at me
In that mirror
The yellow sticky note that says
"You are perfectly imperfect and that is beautiful"
Just makes them run faster
And has me forgetting the question.



*© NDHK
571 · Jun 2013
Hopeless Dream
Nik Krutilla Jun 2013
Reach in and ****** the parts
I keep hidden.
You might pull back confetti pieces
Of me that have lingered.
Open your mouth gently
To taste the unspoken words
Behind my lips.
Devour a malachite trail from my core
And have it melt down your throat.



*©NDHK
569 · Apr 2013
Lay Down Your Sword
Nik Krutilla Apr 2013
Waiting ever so
Patiently
To remind them.
With deep conviction
In their eyes
Wanting to
Tell them softly,
I did the best I could.

The best I could

Gazing up at them
As they motioned toward
The hallway.
The tension was clinging.

The best I could

Trying to bypass it
With a lazed shrug.
They started to get
Antsy
Picking at their pocket.
They focused
On the worn floor.

The best I could

A cough stifled the air.
Turning attention away
As it was becoming
Unbearable.

The best I could

Taking one last,
Lingering look at them.
Watching,
As they gathered up the bags
Proceeded to walk
Determinedly
Through the door
And...
Out of my life.



*© NDHK
563 · Dec 2014
Seed
Nik Krutilla Dec 2014
When you feel yourself trying to stand out,
Stand back.
Let the breeze rise up to meet you.
Don't go rushing to make wind.
People tend to measure inside themselves,
The amounts of perfect that don't exist.
You are the right amount of enough.
Always.
For the one who loves you.
You...are their second look.
You...are their "just five more minutes".
You...are worthy of their appreciation on an everyday scale.
You are it.


*©NDHK
550 · Jul 2014
Fall In The Summer
Nik Krutilla Jul 2014
I can only remember this part...

Maybe a lucid dream hope I've gone to bed with every night.
Perhaps a sleeping memory.

You...
Running your fingers a hairs breadth away from my skin.

Traveling carefully...
From my forehead down to my tinted cheek,
Moving the curls that had been in the way as we talked.

You gently pulled back your hand,
As if, not to offend me by its retreat to your pocket.

You murmured an apology to yourself and I could only muster half a laugh...

Partly because of the endearing gesture,
Also... the surprise of your touch.

You spoke up louder after a second, all the while staring at me with a misplaced bewilderment in your eyes.

"That's what scares me about you" is what finally materialized through the cold fogged breathes our impromptu conversation inspired.

And..

I didn't know if you meant the idea of it,
Or the realization of the fall.



*©NDHK
534 · Apr 2013
Tranquil and Tonic
Nik Krutilla Apr 2013
I'll be
your ******,
If you'll be
my speed.
Always give out
space,
We'll only take
what we need.
I'll draw out
the moon,
If you hang up
the sun.
We can melt
back down,
Into each other
as one.




*©NDHK
533 · May 2013
Sugar
Nik Krutilla May 2013
If you are going to
Consume anything,
A dessert, a secret, a feeling
Let it be always sweet.

*©NDHK
532 · Sep 2012
Swish
Nik Krutilla Sep 2012
I dance
to inspire
things
my words
can't express

Hoping
my rhythm
will grab
your attention
while
I blend in
with the rest.


*© NDHK
520 · May 2013
White T-Shirt
Nik Krutilla May 2013
There's no eloquence here
Just take off your clothes
So I can see your honesty


*©NDHK
513 · Jan 2013
Last Minutes Phone Call
Nik Krutilla Jan 2013
Hold onto your convictions.
Even if they want to sway you otherwise.
They will never truly understand where you're coming from.
It's not their fault but all the same.

Be true to your emotions.
They are valid and real.
Worth every tear and smile and daydream.
Hold faith that you need to be patient.
Just see how things unfold.

You know yourself better than anyone.
Remember you are strong and compassionate.
You have survived worse and stand the tallest of tall.
Even if you feel small sometimes.
You have that scorching light illunminating from inside you.

Hold onto to your convictions.
Because the heart is constant in its beats.


*© NDHK
505 · Jan 2013
Cube
Nik Krutilla Jan 2013
I'm sorry
I couldn't remember
the story
you've never told me.
You forget
I haven't known you your whole life,
even though it feels that way
to you.


*© NDHK
492 · Sep 2013
That's The Way I Feel
Nik Krutilla Sep 2013
There's no shame here in what is.
Some people don't need logical explanations.
Some people are too inherently abstract to exist any other way.
So there in lies the beauty.
I see the puzzle not the picture.
I'm drawn to words not spoken.
I'm fascinated by the stillness not the motion.
I feel what I feel.
Intuition is a punishing pleasure.
Some people you just see.
Not with eyes of judgement but
With that familiar gaze of "me too".
Your gut and spine tingle with a backward reaction that you been there before.  
But you're only here now.
Mirror, mirror when you see that face.
You say what I think and I feel what you hide.
If you could turn inside out for just a moment,
it would be the greatest treasure to keep.
Shelve it,
so I could come home to it every night.
Giving it whole heartedly because you just know they are worthy of it.
Even if they think not.
A blessing not a burden.
So wrapped in fear but you're already vulnerable.
Maybe I'd rather not be the quick burn that's paper cup discarded.
Maybe I'd want to be the dug for deep china delicately held onto.


*©NDHK
474 · May 2013
How Did Ariel Know?
Nik Krutilla May 2013
If a mermaid falls in love...
Where does she get weak,
Is that electric connection dangerous,
And if her breath isn't taken away...
What is?



*©NDHK
469 · Jan 2013
Burning Desire
Nik Krutilla Jan 2013
Does it ever
Feel like
I can see
Into your skin...

When my eyes
Are roaming
Over you?

Because,
I'm the one
Who feels bare
To the bones...

When my gaze
Locks
With yours.

My breath
Turns to mist
Just sighing
Around you...

And when we
Speak...

I can almost
Taste the sulfur,
That wants to
Ignite

Between our tongues.



*© NDHK
463 · Sep 2012
Back Hand
Nik Krutilla Sep 2012
Thanks for putting the spoon back
When you were done,
Even though,
You forgot to mention

There's no more sugar left.....


*© NDHK
457 · Dec 2014
Lineage
Nik Krutilla Dec 2014
Today is the birth day of a woman...
Who continued on her journey.
It's been 8 years since she's gone.

But I can still remember the sound of her laugh
And the smell of her hugs.
I live with her in my daughters' name
And see her hands in my own.

I hope she's proud of who she always knew I could be...
I wish i could tell her in person thank you...
For being a part of me.

I love you Gma and happy birthday.....

*©NDHK
445 · Sep 2013
Jitter
Nik Krutilla Sep 2013
Sometimes, just sometimes
I want to bash my head against the wall
To knock me out of this loop.
Where the hell did it come from and
Why is it digging itself inside.
My heart's already done for.
In my head it's all disguised.
So all that's left to seep out are these
Conflicting words of lust, like, love.
From hands that know too much but not enough.


*©NDHK
Nik Krutilla May 2013
If I'm reading the signs,
The way I think I should.
Looking between the lines and
Stepping back for the panoramic view.

I've been walking a line that's
Leading faint like a concrete crack.
Been ducking low hanging tree limbs
And checking for two road tracks.

All the while believing
I'm blindly moving along.
The changes I've made were
Unbeknownst to me but there all in all.

It was recognized by others
And pointed out to me.
Unaware you are until an observer
Comes and helps you see.

You've become something different,
You've become someone of truth.
Respecting yourself, the life that you're living.
Giving compassion were bitterness once took root.

Finding meaning behind all
The natural actions you take,
Spreading those buried wings
Like a crane over a lake.

Appreciating the small things
And celebrating the big.
Waking up and realizing
It's about time that you did.


*©NDHK
437 · May 2013
Eyeing The Little Things
Nik Krutilla May 2013
I got caught in a daze, within my daze.
Lost in my thoughts, minding my own, I was bombarded.
The sight of you in my zoned out vision line.
The pressed gray shirt you were wearing was untucked.
Your shoe had come untied.
You cleared your throat obnoxiously, on purpose.  
And I think a piece of your hair was sticking straight up in the back.
But all I could focus on was the chain hanging down your chest.



*©NDHK
434 · Apr 2013
Porcelain Veneer
Nik Krutilla Apr 2013
There is nothing
I can do
but watch as I
Lose myself again.
I wish I was
As strong as
Rain.



*© NDHK
415 · Dec 2014
Frequency
Nik Krutilla Dec 2014
Do I miss you too hard?
Do I speak to you too softy?
I'm not sure what the proper way to respond to this is...
I've seemed to have lost volume control when I think about you.
These interactions become so heavy.
Where these memories of you are so fleeting, like whispers in an open space.


*©NDHK
412 · Dec 2015
12:10
Nik Krutilla Dec 2015
Some people are so dehydrated.
They crave codependency to fulfill them.
Be thankful you can stand on your own two feet unaided.

Know if you grow wings in time,
You'll have a stable place to fly from.
I don't know how to explain to others. It's incredible,
To never be wavered.

*©NDHK
403 · Feb 2013
Backwords
Nik Krutilla Feb 2013
If guarded thoughts
can be whispered
into air as mist...
Would it feel like cleansing  
to the ones those words
fall upon?



*© NDHK
403 · May 2013
Leftovers
Nik Krutilla May 2013
Comfortably lounging on the couch.
The tv on low and plates
of unfinished food by my feet.
Tracing my fingertips
across your forehead.
Then venturing them
into your hair.
While you gently tickle
down my leg and
raise goosebumps on my knee
when you breathe.
That's how our nights should wind down.



*©NDHK
403 · Sep 2012
What Does It Mean
Nik Krutilla Sep 2012
If you laugh,
I will smile with you.
Indulge in the happiness you have.

If you swing,
I will sway with you.
Around and around keeping time.

If you break,
I will bend with you.
Stand just enough to be a tower for both of us.

And if you love,
I will believe in you.
Open myself for your heart to fit inside.


*© NDHK
Nik Krutilla May 2013
I hold onto this key,
Not worth more than a dime.
Lay down your amour honey,
Here next to mine.

Lay down your head,
Forget for a while.
Bare out your fears,
They've been walking for miles.  

The memories seem to sneak up,
And boldly corner you.
You're seeing them backwards,
They're running you through.

Just whisper to me your frail hopes,
Show me the bones of your desires.
That stalking fog will vanish,
From this doorway of fire.

It'll be simple for us,
In the cool dawn of the morning.
This is not quite the beginning,
Of a never ending story.


*©NDHK
394 · Sep 2012
Somewhere In There
Nik Krutilla Sep 2012
Put me in a box,
All your secrets I'll keep.

Put me on your feet
When the wearing is weak.

Lift you from the breeze
That will blow in your ear.

Stand me on the ground,
I'll be the comfort too steep.

Blind me with your faith
In things you can't see...

Bury me around
What ugly answers you'd seek.

Find me in the dawn
When hope covets your sleep.

Race away, for now

And come back inside this hall
When you realize.

I've already taken that leap.....


*© NDHK
381 · Dec 2014
Middle Of The Night
Nik Krutilla Dec 2014
The train whistle blares away 2 am...
And with it leftover pieces of meaning.
Eyes still half closed with ethereal haze...
Shadows slink back and forth on the ceiling.
The fan swirls, soothing like cicada rhythm...
Sleepy head tucked where the covers are meeting.
Desperately trying to get back to that lucid place...
Where it was you who I was seeing.
A terribly caged thing my fervent heart is...
When enticed from just an inkling.
Set me free and let it kindle us both here...
Waking tangled would be greater than dreaming.


*©NDHK
379 · Feb 2013
Testing, Testing
Nik Krutilla Feb 2013
It's a little bit
Coincidental
How you can become
Engrossed
With a new understanding of
Your Self
And start seeing the
Resemblances
Of what you have now been made
Aware
In everyday reminders.
But
Maybe it's just the obvious
Conclusion
Of an average
Idealist


*© NDHK
364 · Apr 2013
Undaunted: Day 598
Nik Krutilla Apr 2013
Sometimes,
Things don't turn out the way
You'd hope they would.

Sometimes,
You just have to believe,
That what you remember
About the life you had,

Can still be worth
Something.



*© NDHK
361 · Sep 2012
Wonder Wide
Nik Krutilla Sep 2012
This here I lay my story
For all the world to see

From my lips to your eyes
The story of you and me

Life chased me down and
Breathed your name into my heart

It woke me from a dreaming place
Begged new life to start

In the shadows of my mind
You always linger there

Leading up to now and
I've met you here


*© NDHK
360 · May 2013
A Weeklong Weak Thought
Nik Krutilla May 2013
Roaming in orbit
Above
My responsibilities
And routine.
My current life.
I notice from
Outside
How smudged and
Water stained
Everything has gotten.

*©NDHK
352 · Jul 2013
Keeping Change
Nik Krutilla Jul 2013
If I had a penny for every step,
One in front of the other.
I would have a copper trail
The whole sun couldn't cover.


*©NDHK
342 · Apr 2013
River Jar
Nik Krutilla Apr 2013
You drink me
As if...
I am your elixir
To stay sane.

You drink me
As if...
I am about to spill.




*© NDHK
335 · Apr 2013
Disassociated
Nik Krutilla Apr 2013
You call this love.
Here...
Because it ain't lust

It's not passion either.
There...
Absolutely no trust

It's just you and me
Falling...
Down it seems

Elsewhere.



*© NDHK
334 · Jul 2013
Guardians Shadows
Nik Krutilla Jul 2013
People question why
unfortunate circumstances
happen to them,
and why are they alone.

I believe we need
to experience these things;
for our souls to grow.

Though we are never
sent out as sheep without a
guardian to follow.


*©NDHK
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