"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

clear signs of insanity
pacing
mind racing
dazed and unorganized
eyes look left
eyes look right
not enough contact
there is a clear detach

mad at myself
and laughing
hysterically I sing
a ring a ding ding
a crazy hymn
a dim dim a dim dim

I hear my thoughts
they're saying
**** him  
but I must not sin
I wanna take it to the chin
I can feel my grin
ripping skin
energy wearing thin
I am finally living

insane
I feel no pain
I am pain
I inflict it on the lame
I am to blame
Only to regret my shame
Time will tame
In the mean I clean
spotless spaces surround
I am nowhere to be found
detached again
just cleaning
alive and aging
insane

I want go to Saturn
sounds better
a place with out any developed pattern
school school school work work work
Saturn sounds better

Helium and hydrogen
never dealing with fake friends
abusive boyfriends
stubborn parents

Saturn has no gang violence
Instead, rings of rock and ice!
A place with no money; no price!
No footage, no comments on display
no replay or rewrite
no right to wrong
no ego to let go
its just now
a dot on a giant thing
with rings
waiting to hear you sing
my love; my life
take flight
A journey of no return
I want to go to Saturn

when you find yourself feeling bigger
than life itself
just know life is bigger
the universe even more
and you're not
you're just a dot

~ give it a thought

checking in for my sanity
Hello God
it's me
Lately I've been going through some ****
Depression, lack of expression
thoughts of suicide
feelings of deception
I don't know up from down now
I only frown now
It's flooding where I ran
about a thousand miles out of town
wow.
its coming down now
maybe its the necessary cleanse
I've been needing
I could turn it all around

I know its not my fault
not blaming the tequila
or the salt
leading with the heart

not running
away from assault
I'm leaving
no reason to stay

Time signatures set a slow sway
the integers just don't add up today
so I stay
Oh God you know I pray

That this industry will recognize me one day
Gucci Dior Prada
Runway
NYC Fashion Week
you find me
the great runaway
effortlessly on my feet
you know that even
on the street I slay

Thank you God,
I'm okay

I sat staring down at my seltzer
he was angry
he was disappointed
I use to call him mine
he calls me his
but he gave me nothing to be certain of
no job
no date night
all was flowing by nature
never to nurture
none

between me and you
*******  
the world can see
nothing new
no love
no care
only when he's there

he'll stay close
till he leaves me alone
with no warning
he stays close though
to know what he wants to know

he tells it how it is

no **** for you
I am the smoke you blew
straight through
away the only thing
I never really knew
you never grew

Gone again
there I go
there he goes
blocking my nutrients
thinking I needed them
no
I water my own
I grow