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Nicole Alyssia Jan 2019
‪accept my apology‬
‪in advance

‪i’m impossible,‬
‪in every possible way,‬
‪and i don’t know‬
‪how to hold on to people,‬
‪because i’ve never,‬
‪been held on to‬
‪myself ‬
Nicole Alyssia Nov 2017
secrets seek refuge in the darkness

is where my demons find solace;
ostracized, ignored and seemingly forgotten
forced to tread the depths of my unconscious
while i give way to this self-perpetuated artifice
and swallow every evil fed to me
by the master hidden behind the curtain

i can no longer reject the notion that my demons live inside of me.
i am bound to them.

the longer i chose to ignore them,
the louder they slam and rattle these chains.
Nicole Alyssia Nov 2017
just know,
on the other side of this skin
there is virulence….venom….rancor

you’d be a fool
to take my innocence at face value.
  Nov 2017 Nicole Alyssia
It is the greatest act of courage
to remain soft in a world so rigid
Only the fiercest of us will
plunge into the depths of emotion
Illuminating even our darkest corners
for everyone to see
This is not weakness
This is vulnerability
And if love is the greatest
force in the universe
Then maybe strong is all
we ever have been
And all we ever could be
-Shakti o.m.
  Nov 2017 Nicole Alyssia
Recipe for codependency.

- Cripplingly low self-esteem.
- A mind that over-analyses everything.
- Clinginess.
- Empty, hollow feelings in the chest.

Optional for decoration and added tastiness:
- Chronic illness.
- Love.

Take all ingredients and pour them into a bowl unceremoniously;
The more carelessly, the better the batter.
Measurements aren't required, feel free to experiment
And tweak the quantities to suit your own preferences.
Take your fists and punch down, hard, repeatedly,
Until the emptiness in the chest feels full.
If you have a bigger appetite,
You might prefer to throw in some more punches.
Stop when extensive bruising appears on the chest
And you feel an immense swelling in the heart area.
The throbbing feels like a heartbeat,
And that's when you know you're on the right track.
Bake in an oven fueled with the fiery arguments
Or the passionate distractions from reality; whichever is hottest.
Day two of NaPoWriMo, which is to write poem inspired by or in the form of a recipe.
  Oct 2017 Nicole Alyssia
Sk Abdul Aziz
As a writer you gotta accept a simple truth...there will be days when the pen wins while there will be days when the page triumphs.
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