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961 · Sep 2018
hits you
alexandra Sep 2018
the way it happens
you truly don't see it coming
Im afraid theres no escape now

I only long to be in your loving
802 · Mar 2019
serendipity
alexandra Mar 2019
Oh how beautiful are we.
A product of serendipity.
Lost feelings of ambiguity.

You next to me.
661 · Jan 2019
maintenance
alexandra Jan 2019
love is like a razor
it peels off the layers of dead skin
only to reveal the most vulnerable

it can be smooth and refreshing
& other times rough and bumpy

and sometimes,
It's a ****** mess

I'm a ****** mess
610 · Jun 2018
fall
alexandra Jun 2018
outside the world is dying
yet all we see is bright colours
and beautiful sights

as we eat pie
and breathe in the crisp air
we can't face the truth,

the leaves are dead

and so are our hearts.
575 · Jan 2019
new year
alexandra Jan 2019
another year gone
only a memory
from now on
a new chapter lies ahead of me
549 · Feb 2019
touch
alexandra Feb 2019
touch me with your words
and let the syllables gracefully infiltrate my soul.

let your verbatum drown me in a delicate dance that
sparks and stimulates every sense.

without you.
as I wait and long,
for a conversation that never seems to last too long.
486 · Mar 2019
I am wounded
alexandra Mar 2019
I am wounded.

My heart is torn.
Like a shattered pane of glass,
The pieces are sharp and rigid.
It appears I am broken.
It appears.

You dig your hand deep into my pile of pieces,
And you put me back together.
You are cut.
It appears.

Countless times I sit wondering why I am such a mess.
Until you came.

You put me back together.
You hurt for me.

I am healed.
462 · Jul 2018
cortisone vol.1
alexandra Jul 2018
how you make me feel
it consumes my mind
entertains me, captivates me, holds me in a cell
my feelings wanting to break free
yet
my lips are sealed

when you ask me who do you want
I say nothing
enslaved by my own will
I dont want to speak

you know I want you
I can't hide my actions
my speculations are driving me crazy
I am trapped
I am trapped

what if I spoke
more than just a stupid joke
I would be free
I could be me

Freedom of feeling
it is liberating
also deteriorating
decorating
heart-breaking
faking


when feelings are like a fragile glass
shattered at the slightest shake

is it  really worth
risk taking
421 · Mar 2019
seasons of love
alexandra Mar 2019
Oh the seasons of your love.

The sweet air of spring and
The warm sun the summer brings.
The crisp wind and colour of the fall.
The delightful beauty of it all.

And in the winter when the world is ice,
You hold me close and tight.

A love so right.

The seasons of your love.
365 · Jun 2018
canvas mentality
alexandra Jun 2018
paintbrush strokes brush the canvas
each bristle individually placed upon a blank slate
nothing but color as an image of her thoughts
put up as a masterpiece for everyone to admire

behind the beauty of the artwork
hides the blank canvas
no bristles, nothing but a clean slate
for the painter to paint away their thoughts
357 · Mar 2019
summer
alexandra Mar 2019
Blue skies
Warm air
So free, no care
Cloudless nights
Loves in flight
You & I
So devine
329 · Mar 2019
need
alexandra Mar 2019
I do not need you, I remind myself as I constantly think about you.
You are just an accessory in my life, something optional, something extra.

In my mind, I do not need you.

Yet in my heart,
You are the only necessity.
321 · Sep 2018
last night
alexandra Sep 2018
your laugh is truly contagious.
people can say thats a cliché,
yet its not at all that way.

when you smile at me
I cannot help but smile at you
last night thats all we'd do.

each joke, each glare, each smile, each stare.

Its in my mind I choose to ignore .

In my heart last night is what I'm longing for.

*******.
313 · Feb 2019
back & forth
alexandra Feb 2019
I sit by my window, hair in a twist, draped in oversized clothing.
I stop and notice my surroundings.

They seem to only be surroundings, until a wind throws them all into a vigorous motion.
The trees flow forward and back I feel them inside of me.

Back and forth, back and forth.

A force of nature acting upon nature.
Oh the simplicity.

I reflect on my own life's nature.
The fabrication of routine,
the oh so un-natural,

Back and forth.

I move in silence.
I am a continuous place (being), where there is no end, nor beginning.
No stop, no go.
Not a single sign of natural flow.

Why can't I be like the trees?
Stand tall and secure, despite being rattled.
Over and over again.
Against all they do not fall.

I can feel them inside of me.
Back and forth.
308 · Jun 2018
fallen
alexandra Jun 2018
falling for someone

is it meant to kick you down
cut you up and bruise you
coating you
in a
shiny coat of red

pain mixes with emotions of love
hides behind words
feelings
actions
contorting itself into pleasure

blame others
it isn't your fault

but

only your blood
comes out of

your body

when you,

fell.
302 · Feb 2019
wish
alexandra Feb 2019
we wish for tomorrow to arrive
so we once again can wish for yesterday
287 · Mar 2019
no place
alexandra Mar 2019
you are so great to me
you are my sanctuary

lost in your arms, there is no place I'd rather be
256 · Jul 2017
Wandering Thoughts
alexandra Jul 2017
Alone in body and mind
Nothing to do but pass the time
Thinking about you next to me
Is a sad reality I will never foresee
It is hard to stop my mind from wandering,
into the unknown places where only my insecurities leave traces
When I long for something so unattainable
Wandering thoughts are not so stable
thoughts
256 · Jul 2017
Feel
alexandra Jul 2017
A touch to the heart

Grabs you by the hand

Hand to heart

Feeling is the push of a man
247 · Jul 2017
Roads
alexandra Jul 2017
Twist, turn roads they wind
Up and down through hills they climb
Endless, yet ending
245 · Sep 2020
koffee
alexandra Sep 2020
his kiss is like coffee in the morning,
bold and sweet.
each taste leaves me wanting more.
240 · Jul 2020
day
alexandra Jul 2020
day
i am the day.
each morning I rise.
new beginnings await me.
the day is me.
we shall rise together.
229 · Feb 2019
Morning Tea
alexandra Feb 2019
My mind is a brewery for complacence.
Worry steeps my thoughts.
I pour in heaving tablespoons of anxiety,
and overdue the self-loathing.

I stir in my responsibilities,
and it is complete.

My (not so perfect), cup of tea.
211 · Feb 2019
my love
alexandra Feb 2019
It was love wasn't it?
The way you looked at me.
It was love wasn't it?
You understood me in every way.
It was love wasn't it?
We were meant to be together.
It was love wasn't it?
You told me my greatest asset was my body.
It was love wasn't it?
You told me I should try harder.
It was love wasn't it?
I spent my days crying.
It was love wasn't it?
You were my shelter from the storm.

You were the storm.

It was love wasn't it?
208 · Jul 2017
End
alexandra Jul 2017
End
All good things do not last
flowers wilt, grass turns brown
The smile turns to a frown
There will always be a goodbye,
for even the day must die
206 · Mar 2019
heart's angst
alexandra Mar 2019
I can close my my eyes and let you in.
I can open my mind and push you out.

My heart, oh that *******.
Push it, pull it, not a single twitch.
202 · Jul 2018
cortisone vol.2
alexandra Jul 2018
U
were never there

left alone without U
when I first realized
I cried

I am nothing to you.
But to me
U
are everything

I am a disposable object
a mirage
broken

U
are not me
without me
u are whole
alexandra Feb 2019
Objectivity and its complexity
Driving me to utter insanity

Oh life and its unpredictable abnormality.
A subjective thought once abstract and full of morality.

Restrained and now sedimentary.

In my mind what once lit on fire,
Turns obstructed, objective, and dire.

For I may not have all I desire,
But my mind will never migrate.

Forever within me lies
A place to dream, love, believe, and hope.

Trapped within the universe
A power defined by no such scope
188 · Mar 2019
A Mark
alexandra Mar 2019
Like the scent of salt after a day by the sea,
A brush of pollen against the wings of a bee,
The smooth gaze of the wind against the leaves,

You made your mark on me.
A harmony that will forever be.
185 · Jul 2017
Coloured Thoughts
alexandra Jul 2017
The lies became washed away in the colours of paint

Diluted in the truth bestowed in the cleansing water.

The dirt coloured remains fill the water and the mind

Reminding us of what once was something beautiful yet so empty
169 · Oct 2020
your love
alexandra Oct 2020
i love you more than my heart is capable of loving.
each beat echoes my love for you.
your love pours within my veins,
fills my body,
and warms me.

your love gives me life.
162 · Sep 2020
call me
alexandra Sep 2020
I like it when you call me when you're drunk.
it makes me feel less crazy.
at least I know you think of me,
even if its in the absence of your sobriety.
155 · Jul 2020
you
alexandra Jul 2020
you
I miss you.

Your voice repeats in the back of my head. Your touch now a distant memory. I remind myself, you are not mine, you were never mine.
I remind myself - you can’t lose what was never yours - but I feel as if I have been stripped of my most prized possession. I miss the sweet nothings you'd mutter, I miss the way you spoke. The thought of you pains me yet I continue to think of you. I cannot bring my mind to a halt. Memories of you and I flood my mind as I fear that I may forget you. But how could I forget you. I brush my fingers across my chin the same way you once did. I still feel the grooves of your fingertips. I am heavy. The weight of sorrow and sadness flow through me like a raging stream, crashing, and breaking me down from within. Every inch of my skin craves for yours. I am numb. I guess this is goodbye. You were the one who showed me how to love myself. You lit a ever-burning flame within. You will linger forever in my heart. I miss you. Oh god do I ******* miss you.

I had you. I lost you. I miss you.

You will burn forever in me.
147 · Sep 2020
eyes
alexandra Sep 2020
I've heard that the eyes never lie.
I hope that isn't true.

For every time you watch her walk by,
My eyes are drawn to you.
140 · Dec 2019
goodbye
alexandra Dec 2019
for every day I miss you
every breath one too many,
every thought one too deep,
each touch further away from you,

please don't go,

I love you
134 · Sep 2020
remember to forget
alexandra Sep 2020
you make me remember.
remember what it feels like to let go.
you give me complete liberation.
I am free from the confinement your love once brought.
when I remember you,
I forget all things.

when I remember ..
127 · Mar 2019
I love you
alexandra Mar 2019
You do not know how I loved you.
For the day I met you my life was no longer mine.

Each smile, each laugh, each touch we share,
It hurts a little more that you are no longer there.

I was once in love with you.

-

I love you.
124 · Jul 2020
lost love
alexandra Jul 2020
I see everything differently. I used to drive down the road and think nothing of it, only noticing the trees and the people walking by. Now, each time I drive down the road I look for your face, hoping that in the crowds of people I would notice you. When I look at the trees I don’t admire their beauty, I search for your beauty in them. When I listen to music, all the songs remind me of you. Because now all of the sudden, each lyric is a note once written from me to you - perfectly describing how I feel for you. The coffee I drink reminds me of you too - I cannot run from you. For with each sip I am reminded of how you only drink black coffee, and with each swallow I take, I think of how if you were here you would criticize me for drinking it with cream. When I walk by the water I think of you. I think of how you kissed me by the water, held me, touched me, spoke to me - each wave that crashes floods my mind with memories of you. When I hear somebody yell, I hear you yelling. I hear your loud, raspy, and tired voice call out to me. I hear you say my name. I hear it all - my mind plays your voice like a record, the sound revolving in my head constantly. When I stare at this page, I cannot stop myself from thinking of you. I wonder what you would think of me if you read this. Would you laugh and call me pathetic or would you love me for it? I will never know. I often question what you are thinking about, and I often hope it is of me. I see life differently, each day when I wake I hope that the day brings me closer to you. I see the sun differently. When its beams shoot into the universe, and the heat touches my skin, I imagine that it is the heat of your skin against mine. You are the sun. As I write this I feel your emotions - I feel your hurt. I know you are no longer mine, however I feel as if I am still yours. When I think of love, I think of you - after all love isn’t easy, it is something you fight for. I will fight for you - I do not have you, but I will not lose you.
120 · Feb 2019
A Cut
alexandra Feb 2019
Truth is like a knife.
It cuts away until all you're left with are pieces.

Pieces of what was once was stuck together.

Your heart was once whole.
117 · May 2020
what world
alexandra May 2020
born in a world with so much to discover,
by the age of eight we begin to wonder,
as we grow up why does a place once filled with colour,
begin to make us shudder
113 · Sep 2020
goodbye lover
alexandra Sep 2020
I see you in my dreams
your presence seems to forever linger
I wonder if you touch her body
the same way you'd trace me with your finger
107 · Sep 2020
I am a poet
alexandra Sep 2020
I am a poet.
I feel emotions deeply but i do not show it.
Words sway my soul as my thoughts roll with the tides.

I feel deeply but it is masked by disguise.
105 · Oct 2020
would you see
alexandra Oct 2020
sometimes I wonder how you would see yourself if you had my eyes.

would you see the delicate man I see,
the one that when he smiles, melts away all my pain.

would you see the strong man I see,
the one that puts others before himself.

would you see the brave man I see,
the one that faces adversity with a full grin.

would you see the girl I am,
the girl who you love.

would you see me,
and how I love you in ways words cannot explain.
99 · Jul 2020
lost love
alexandra Jul 2020
you showed me love,
but you brought me pain.
you showed me life,
but you embodied death.
you gave me purpose,
but you labelled me worthless.
you were nothing but trouble,
how could i have loved you.
96 · Jul 2020
midnight state of mind
alexandra Jul 2020
the night takes over my mind.
suddenly - i am filled with darkness.
my heart, a broken record.
the words spin.
over and over again,
midnight rotates forever in my head.
95 · Jul 2020
I fell in love in July
alexandra Jul 2020
i fell in love with you in july.
bursts of your love shot like fireworks in my soul.
first a hello,
now a goodbye.
newfound love, all a lie.
i lost you in july.
91 · Jul 2020
tell me
alexandra Jul 2020
whisper in my ear.
tell me the things I want to hear.
rid me of my fear,
that one day you'll no longer be here.
89 · Feb 2020
organic love
alexandra Feb 2020
as the air wisps between the branches of the trees,
I can't help but think of you and me.

how the wind caresses each individual leaf,
and wraps around the stems.

our love is like the air and the trees.

every touch,
every moment,

I am wrapped in your love.
87 · Aug 2020
my eyes
alexandra Aug 2020
Nobody knows you like I do.
I hold that thought in my mind.
No matter how hard they try,
They will never see you as I.
You are so special,
It cannot be disguised,
That they will never be me,
And they will never see you through my eyes.
87 · Feb 2020
a letter from me to me
alexandra Feb 2020
I love every single thing about you

The way you smile,
The way your hair drips down onto your shoulders,
The way you are fearless,
The way you love

I wish you saw yourself as I see you
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