Neo From The Waters: Poems

970 · Jun 2015

Neo From The Waters Jun 2015

My 6 strings mend broken reflections.
They chant sweet elegies,
with beautiful melodies
calling you to a better direction

#guitar

771 · Jun 2015

i hope you understand

Neo From The Waters Jun 2015

i hope you understand

I cannot speak.
It is how I am now.
I was alone for such a long time,
that I learned to shut everyone out,
thinking that nobody would understand what I go through.
I've learned to wipe my own tears,
and that made me believe that I don't need anyone.
And so, I thought I could never be loved.
I have a lot of baggage .
But you loved me and I fell so hard.
You touched me and reminded me that I am not alone.
You promised to be by my side
and two years later you still are.
But I want you to understand .
I am still scared and maybe sometimes I will push you away.
I hope you understand that I am trying to build myself .
I will be happy, and I'll suddenly get sad.
I will cry, and I will never tell you why.
It's hard for me to place my burdens upon somebody else's shoulders.
I hope you understand

618 · Jun 2015

Run

Neo From The Waters Jun 2015

Run

I've tried to run but he is always ahead of me.
He loves seeing me cry and beg for me mercy.
He feeds me pain and drains my happiness.
He breaks me down until I am powerless.

His name is cancer...

#pain

586 · Jul 2015

dear neo

Neo From The Waters Jul 2015

dear neo

Dear Neo ..
I'm writing this to you, hoping you will still be here tomorrow.
I'm hoping that you will be released from all the sorrow.

I know that you cry every night.
I know that it seems like you will never see the light.
I know the last thing you want to do is fight,
but hold on tight, because everything will be alright.

I pray that one day you'll be able to " kiss the sky " ,
dry the tears in your eyes
and look back to all the times
where you were begging to die,
when pain made you dry,
and no matter how much you tried,
you never saw yourself fly.
You never saw yourself smile.

I know you will win this battle.
I know you'll be able to run around care free.
I know you will smile, because I don't know anyone as strong as you are.
Dear Neo..
I don't believe in anything like I believe in you.

533 · Jun 2015

my love

Neo From The Waters Jun 2015

my love

Your heart is my ocean.
I want to dive in and drown in you.
Your love is by protection ,
precious, irrevocable, so true.
You are the missing chord to my melody,
the happiness in my tears,
the drug I can never leave,
the one who knows all my fears.
You are my strength , my determination
my sullen confidence
my deepest satisfaction
my happiness.
You are my love,
the gift from above.

528 · Nov 2015

Life and death

Neo From The Waters Nov 2015

Life and death

I started living at sixteen
and I think he met happiness at nineteen .
He came and he saved me
I was never ready

He introduced me to life
and brought back the light.
We spent our days clamped onto each other
Our hearts kissed,we were always together

And then... Distance came
and our souls were once again tamed
Distance decided to give us a hug
None of us realized that Mr distance was a ****

What is death?
Is he really a myth?
Is he really strong,
or am I just wrong?

Death is pulling your lover out because you have to part .
Death is the word "goodbye".
Some people say that death is art ,
but they've never fell in love with the sky

Life is seeing your lover after ninety days
Life is running into his arms and thanking God for him
Life is falling asleep in his arms
Life is looking into Kevin's eyes with a smile

478 · Jul 2015

storm after storm I stay strong

Neo From The Waters Jul 2015

storm after storm I stay strong

I am out at sea.
I am alone and I am lost.
I am scared and so my whole being starts to drown.
I see nothing but darkness,
as I start to fall deep into the ocean.

I hear his voice.
Wait! I hear my lovers voice,
but I can't see him.
He is pulling me out.
He is helping me fight this storm.
He tells me all will be well.

I make it, and my head is above water.
I am able to breath and move.
I smile, hoping to see him by my side, but he is not there.

I realise that my lovers words are my hope.

454 · May 2017

Freedom

Neo From The Waters May 2017

Freedom

I am not free.
I cannot wear what I want,
because I'm going to get attention.
I am not free.
They keep on ******* me with their eyes.
I wear a skirt; they stare.
I wear a dress; it gives them a right to touch me because I "asked" for it.
I wear jeans: they're too revealing.
I am horribly limited!

I have to look over my shoulder everyday,
because I am not safe.
I am not safe at home.
I am not safe at school.
I am not safe at a mall.
I am not safe anywhere.

My first thought in the morning is:
"This could be my last day alive",
because I could get abducted and have my organs harvested.
Nobody cares about my life.

We as women are belittled.
Our existence is not valued.
We are treated like we are nothing.
They beat us.
They **** us.
They **** us.

I am a South African woman.
The system has failed us.
I am not protected.
I am not safe.
I am not free.

450 · May 2017

Rehab

Neo From The Waters May 2017

Rehab

Rehab

I love the head rush.
And the two minutes of peace.
I love inhaling...
Exhaling the demons.
I love you.
I hate you.

You are killing me slowly.
Sadly I keep coming back to you.
Suffocating me every night
Help me let go of you Niccie

My airways are dark and smoky.
Heartbeat escalates every time we kiss.
I love the way you make me feel.
Maybe I'm in love with the idea of you lying in between my opening.
I'm in love with you Niccie.
But I have to let go.

448 · Jun 2015

Hard to breath

Neo From The Waters Jun 2015

Hard to breath

Life is crying on the floor,
begging for strength for the night,
craving another dose of narcotics
just to take the pain away.

Can't I fade away already?
These nights aren't the way they're supposed to be.
This hear is full of salted wounds
and I can't bandage the damage.

I am still trying to float.
I am paddling and I am kicking,
but these waves are just too strong
and so they keep pulling me in.
So I find it hard to breath

441 · Jun 2017

What is enough?

Neo From The Waters Jun 2017

What is enough?

My heart is not enough.
My ears are not enough.
My words are not enough.
My efforts are not enough.
The home I gave you is not enough.
My love is not enough.

434 · Jun 2015

daisy field . pt 1

Neo From The Waters Jun 2015

daisy field . pt 1

he asked me to open up . i hope he knows that he is about to enter a world of thunderstorms . but then i realised something : i cannot cry alone . i cannot stand by myself and fight the battles on my own , and so i welcome you . you can run with me to the daisy fields , because i know i will get there with you by my side

371 · Jun 2017

Untitled

Neo From The Waters Jun 2017

Untitled

321 · Jun 2015

first taste of destruction

Neo From The Waters Jun 2015

first taste of destruction

I was tripping..
I felt like I had lost my direction.
I felt lost,but my heart was still singing
I had my first taste of destruction.

I sat at Louis's, in pain.
I felt nothing, but the Novocaine
that was running in my veins.
I was not the same.

I was scared,I felt alone.
I was drowning in my own tears,
maybe because I was really on my own.

264 · Feb 2018

I'm in love

Neo From The Waters Feb 2018

I'm in love

My solace...
I can spend a lifetime in your arms,
crying, laughing, sleeping in your embrace.
I spend most of my days lost in your charms.

You feel like a summer night in December.
Long chats & slow strokes. You remember?
You taste like my favourite wine..
Coffee, grapes, cherries; oh so fine.

You feel like home.
You smell like home.
You taste like home.
You are my home.

The view from the top completes me.
I hear you breathing, you're grabbing; consume me.
The pounding reminds me of heaven,
a place I've never been to but I'm sure its like you Kevin.
I'm in love with a god, I'm floating.
I wrote this poem in my head while he was stroking.

You let me write while I was on a ride,
because you know this is all for you.
An adventure, I'm in the sky.
I could go on forever about everything you do.

You feel like home.
You smell like home.
You taste like home.
You are my home.

258 · Jun 2016

I am a woman

Neo From The Waters Jun 2016

I am a woman

I am a woman.
I breath life into everything I touch.
I am love and hope.
My body carries stories of heartache , pleasure and sweet nights with him.

I am happiness.
I am power.
I am the deep , blue ocean.
I am a woman.

184 · Jun 2018

Out of Love

Neo From The Waters Jun 2018

Out of Love

It felt like a storm hit me.
It took everything and left me empty.
We lived a life that drained us.
I cried everyday. He got quieter everyday.
We lived in denial.
I'm sure we wondered..
How can we make a home,
if we can't make home out of anything but ourselves?
It could have worked..
We've been with each other since high school.
Five years.
Been waking up next to each other for the past three years.
I know him like I know myself.
He knows me like he knows himself.
He is my best friend.
I always say in my heart every time I wake up next to him:
"I love & appreciate our friendship more than anything".
But..
We're both broken..
We're busy building each other..
For ourselves individually and for us.
Still building a strong foundation..
Still growing.
Still learning to love unconditionally and unapologetic.
I believe, we are love.
But this letter is to tell you that..
It was out of love.
Everything done by us is out of love.
We're both searching for closure..
The only thing that consoles us is,
you have a better home now.

— The End —