Know that I'm struggling
Struggle stays the same
Always a different pain
Doubt with shame
On the hunt for gain
I don't feel the same

Somedays I feel like I got nobody
Just me and my personality
Where do I begin?
Backtracking my journals but some I refuse to open
Ever wonder why you wrote something
But find out it doesn't mean anything
Just be yourself
But who am I
Looking at the man in the mirror
I got glass no chandelier
Picked up a pencil but words aren't as sharp
Just broke the led apart
A written mockery from the heart
Man why is life so hard?

The jokes aren't that funny
But I'm alright
Laugh behind tears of A clown
I mask my frown
Global pandemic requires masks
But I've had A mask my whole life
Just to be alright
Too far, so I hit up the bat
Drink alone in corner
Wishing I can just start all over

Eyes raining
Voice straining
Heart aching
Feelings breaking
Emotions raking
Bad news for the taking
But I'm fine.

Please no favors
No card see you later
You're no heart breaker
Last I checked You're a faker
So bye hater
Onlyfans
Because begging never stood a chance
Not even worth snap premium
I'm blocked thats fine
I still don't waste no time
Find a better hobby
Tinder has more check ins and out in the lobby
I'm no hottie
But I'm real
My personality melts steel
I'm pretty chill
I goof off and let time spill
Family and homies is all I need
Beer to chug with liquor to seek
I'm the one about to succeed
If you're real you can speak

Darling you're great
Beautiful and smiles contagious
Honey don't be concerned you're everything he's not
Keep that in mind
For you I'll keep my phone closer so hit up my line
We can talk about everything like we did back in time
I know you're hurting, but you deserve someone who's willing to be there at your worse and seek out the best
Heartaches and false hope hit you
But you're stronger
Better
Very independent
You put family first
You've survived the worse
But you forgot your worth
Honey you're a true man's dream
Not these fake boys who mask themselves behind a locked screen

I reach for my dreams
Learned how to enjoy the little things
Picking up wishies from the field
Putting my thoughts at A yield
My guards up and I've got A good shield
I enjoy the comfort the homies bring
I've got their back even if it's the last thing
Every adventure I've had should've be documented
Always A great memory hopefully in the future it wouldn't be so complicated
Happy to say that I'm slowly making it