I'm thinking I'm a never alright
Running out of smokes tonight
Been a long trip with my journal and I
Wished I was phenomenal with my writing
Been there since gosh knows when
Always fighting
Horrible lighting
Mood striking
Need some relief I'm in need
Of my skin to bleed
Perhaps a flame
What's wrong with my obsession with random pain

I'm back at square one
Wish this ***** over and done
Talking everything for granted because I'm a bit gullible
Wish i hadn't been so **** miserable
I hate being vulnerable

I've been hurt. I've got no idea what I'm worth. Got hooked on a few addictions, been a tough road and still hardly any check ins. I'm complicated, been through tough love because I was never a part of it.
Call me names, tease me, hurt me
I guarantee you I'm already hurting
Life is a mistake
But parents don't abort unless they are on a level to be ready to cooperate
Heart ache, love break I'm doing great
I was a surprise
No i wasn't I was a regret
Maybe thats why everyone up and left
Nobody kept they're word on me
Now I'm lonely in agony
Fell off the road
Ready to suffer and choke
Scars on my body
I swear I'm not doing anything naughty
I'm just manipulating myself
Losing health
Give me something that's not putting me throught the ringer
I refuse to open up to a stranger
I swear I'm not putting myself in danger
Irratate, deteriorate, contemplate, about to relate, no one can cooperate, heart ache, about to break, look at me kids I'm fake. Lost a chance i had to take.
Let me say something
I was to bad to be too good. Then I'm above it all beiing high and mighty
Now I've got more to suffer and more anxiety........

i have no idea what to think. some days I just want to isolate and do my own thing. Last past few years have been good on and off, I was happier with a girl then I ****** that up. I cry so ******* hard thinking of her sharing her all to another man. Especially the thought of her making love kills me again. She was mine, I had all of that. Then I didn't. All happen to fast! I once read her feels about him. I just about got ready to end my ******* life. I Said I'm a be okay. I'm good, I'm good, In fact I'm great. I'M PERFECT I LOVE LIFE.
i scream with silence and i'm beating the **** out of myself. drinking myself black in high hopes i can do what she did to me. I began to cut and burn again, almost thought about suicide because she said her future hubby. her only family. PROOF! my family and I was never enough. will someone save me, I ******* hate me. I can't be crying all the time. especially in the middle of a buzz or a black out. "YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH"
as she stumbles to say with tears rolling down her face. Hey, mine hurt too. I began to punch my face in front of you because the look behind your eyes said it all. It hurt more then the physical pain you sent me. I worked so hard to be led on and it was all for nothing. I want to end me, need something less painful.

Every time I had a chance I'd make Eye contact.
Beautiful, how do I attract?
Pure EYES, safe and sound
I'm a gaze into them till there's no sound
Hey darling,
will you make time to see me
or talk to me
get to know each other
I'd love to show you what it's like to be treated better
eyes got me sinking
it's your beauty that has me thinking
won't you let me hold you tight
ready to treat you right
show you a real gentlemen

That smile hurt me
I knew behind that smile was pure agony
I saw me hurting
I've used that smile before
Hard to ignore
I wish to see a real smile