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naudia 4d
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i never know this is how i feel until i'm completely alone and surrounded by silence.
naudia Feb 2021
she never wondered why;
why all these guys she loved were so bad at loving her.
the answer: she had a savior complex.
you can't find love in someone who's 10 is your 7.
not everyone was meant for each other, and that is alright.
love doesn't come easy. never settle with anything less than your idea of a 10.
<3
naudia May 2021
<3
from the bottom of my heart.
i wish you nothing but the worst :)
naudia Oct 2021
hurts to finally realize that he didn't give me answers to my feelings. he gave me equations to allow me to find my way to said answers
naudia May 2021
i would use my last 1% to hear you
but you hardly waste any of your 99% on me.
naudia Dec 2020
i would take a lifetime of cold showers just to be told why you left me
naudia Oct 2021
after being grounded for a day
i finally was able to take a step back and see,
how not okay i am.
naudia May 2021
the world is tortured by those who lie upon it
those who call it home but treat it as though its a stranger
but yet we get so quick to blame it when it retaliates
and we are the ones feeling the pain of being treated like a stranger. left to rot in the dark
naudia Oct 2021
through all the tears streaming from my face all i can bring myself to do is send a dark screen with the word "sorry." written across the middle.
naudia 4d
imagine the symbolism and poetic aspect of being able to watch life drain from someone's eyes and soul. whether it be by nature's will or your own hands.
naudia Dec 2020
its so hard to not feel anything.
laying in your bed under the impression that you're not waking up the next day is a pain i wish for no human to experience.
not being able to know what you feel until you find yourself crying to your closest friend about it, is a different world of pain.
im sorry to anyone who has ever gone through the process of depersonalization.
naudia Feb 2021
i lost my ability to hold grudges.
my world spins different now.
naudia Nov 2020
in that moment i realized
all this time i've felt nothing
naudia May 2021
i hope my face burns off in front of you.
just to prove that as tears streak down my face and evaporate into steam i would only want to die with your face etched into my brain.
naudia Dec 2020
laying in your bed
with your lips against my neck
gives me the same feeling as when
i watch the sunset.
its calming, and makes me feel safe
naudia Dec 2020
and just like that
every chat
every photo
every memory
gone. with a click
of a button.
naudia Feb 2021
I'm not your trophy.
do not flash me to your friends as if I am some conquest.
i refuse to be a gold chunk that collects dust on a shelf with your participation awards.
naudia Dec 2020
when it ends, we do too.
naudia May 2021
that some days you wake up and could make a list of all the things that make you happy, only to go to bed at night digging to find some light beyond the darkness of your burdens
naudia Oct 2021
a dark and cruel world out there. your shadow is your only friend.
naudia Jan 2021
june may forever be gone
but i'll always promise
to bring you the earth moon and mars.
naudia Feb 2021
just like that
the drip stops
and i figured out how to turn it all off.
naudia Mar 2021
you pinky promised.
naudia Sep 2021
maybe i can hope that one day i will inhale enough smoke to **** me so the thought of you doesn't have to
naudia Oct 2021
my world changed when i realized that all of my sadness turned into self-destructive pain.
naudia Nov 2020
i sometimes fear falling asleep
not because of the monsters in the night,
but because when i wake
the demons of the day will return
and once again
the dark cycle of thoughts will swarm
naudia Feb 2021
and that's where she laid.
the girl who always listened to everyone
who always would absorb their pain so they didn't have to face their demons alone.
who wanted to make everyone smile.
but there she was.
in her bed.
curled up.
sobbing.
but couldn't bring herself to tell anyone.
naudia Jul 2021
"i'm glad that at the times that i wasn't okay you took your own time to reinvent your own version of forever. i think at some point you started to be holding me down. i was always supposed to be there for __, and when i wasn't i get lectured but when something was holding me down you blamed me for drowning you. it was always you needing support and i was the one being drained."
naudia Feb 2021
my night and day
my everything
my jonny scott.
my person
maybe not so much in person. but my person with distance.
my very own Hiro to my 02.
my darling.
may we meet again. may our souls reconnect on another plain of existence.
naudia Aug 2020
and so i wonder
when the inevitable day comes
that the miles between us will shrink
if you'll remember
the love you used to make me feel
all those nights ago
naudia Feb 2021
i blew it up
because i hate you
naudia Oct 2021
i need to stop worrying about how they feel about me right now so i don't cause them to lose any feeling for me in the future.
naudia Jul 2021
it's sad that those who care the least hold the most power.
naudia Aug 2021
it's hard to believe that something that has been turned so meaningless is supposed to represent love.
naudia Aug 2021
what scares you so much about accepting what i say to you?
its not subtle hints. i am flat out telling you what is going on but yet you refuse to listen
naudia Dec 2021
validation is all you think about anymore.
who liked this.
who saw what i posted.
who commented.
how many people liked what you commented.
this has become my worst addiction.
i'm trapped.
suffocating.
naudia Feb 2021
is it selfish of me to say that i don't want you to go away
that i don't expect you to love me or even like me in that way
but that i don't want to be a one time thing.
that i don't want you to ghost because you got what you wanted.
naudia Oct 2020
if tonight was the last night
that i'll ever be in your arms
i want you to know
i love you and can't stand watching
you hurt knowing i can't do anything.
naudia 4d
who knew i would one day sit in a car singing my favorite tunes to the one i love most.
that the little girl who was afraid to confide in anyone would become a woman who now shared a heart with another human soul
naudia Nov 2021
you stabbed me in the chest with a dagger and gave yourself a mere paper cut
then you told me that we bleed the same.
do not compare our blood,
for mine is pain and yours is pity
why
naudia Dec 2020
why
why do i lay in bed in the morning wondering why i am the way i am
why do i sit at a desk for hours pondering what i will do
why do i sit at the bottom of the shower questioning who i'll love
why do i lay in bed at night feeling like i'm empty
why does the cycle repeat every day.
naudia Oct 2021
safe to say that my comfort person
has turned into the person
that causes me the most discomfort
naudia Nov 2020
memories fly through my brain
like cars in a high-speed chase.
i sit and wonder the possibilities of us,
thoughts which are a never-ending stream.
you gave me a rain of confidence which allowed my character to grow.
you had shone your brightness onto me through my darkest nights and cloudiest days.
love is too fickle to be real.
that's a thought you have allowed me to think to myself.
of course, it's not entirely your fault.
its mine. for allowing another human being into my bubble, predicting they would be in it forever.
and now I'm left here. sitting in a chair writing something you will never read.

— The End —