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Jul 2017 · 385
Victim
natalie Jul 2017
I am a victim of my brain
Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth it goes.
It never stops.

Do I play nice to myself,
Or is it time for punishment?

Choose.
Choose, NOW.

No, you have to be gentle.
NO, you don’t deserve to be forgiven.
You hurt everyone.
NO. It’s all in your head.
NO. It’s not.
YES IT IS.
NO!

Count the number of people I hurt,
Tell yourself why you don’t deserve anything.

STOP PLEASE STOP…

Which voice in my mind will win at the end of the day
Is unpredictable.

But I need a happy ending to my day,
Or at least feel okay
Because everyone deserves a happy ending.
But do I?
NO.
Yes I do.
No you don’t.

FIGHT IT YES YOU DO.
You need to feel okay.
You are okay.
You’re okay.
You’re okay.
You are okay.
Depression is a battle within yourself.
Jul 2017 · 247
Gone
natalie Jul 2017
you left us
without even leaving.
Jul 2017 · 999
somber memory in Cebu
natalie Jul 2017
there we were
in a café
enjoying each other's company

I looked to my right
and saw a Filipina lady
and a white man
eating their breakfasts silently

"she seems unhappy
and anxious"
I thought to myself

"*******?"
I asked my mother.
she says yes and nods.

I hope that one day
that lady won't have
to sell herself

to make a living.
Many women in the Philippines are prostitutes for a living, and a lot of the time, it's not their fault. I wish there were another way for them.
Jul 2017 · 323
Better.
natalie Jul 2017
I could treat you
so much better
than the weak men
you've been with.

They play games,
and sometimes you gladly
play along because
you want to feel
special.

If only you could
take my hand,
I'd give you more
than what you deserve.
Longing to be with the girl that I know deserves more.
Jul 2017 · 212
Unsure
natalie Jul 2017
she dreams of
being with girls

some are friends
some are new faces

and every time she
feels an attraction
to one of them

she wonders:
do I want all in,
or do I just want a taste?
Jul 2017 · 234
Fantasy
natalie Jul 2017
How I long to
grace her hips,
full of love and desire.

I want pull her in, slowly
like a tender lover would.
Then I'd gently hold
her face--
and tell her that I'm in love
with her.

But alas,
this is merely
a fantasy...
one which will never meet
the expectations
of those around her.

— The End —