I used to to wonder
As a child
What type of man
I would end up becoming

Now, as a man
I wonder where the child I was
Went to

Every instance of my innocence
That was abused
Taken for granted
Lied to or fooled
Ate away at the inner child

I know now
Of the man I've become
But sometimes
I miss the child I used to be

I should like to tie you up
    So you have only one choice
That choice is trusting me
Giving me control
    Over your pleasure and passion
That would be my pleasure
In that
I do not feel that I have a choice
It is my responsibility
To make you mine
To want your all
To feel your all
To take care of you
To protect you

You will let me
Show my strength
My power
My dominance

My love

Without you
I have nothing

I may ask of you
To give control to me
But your hands are upon my heart
And that is where true control lies

I am your man

The other day
A friend asked me why life had to be so difficult
My response was that it was never meant to be simple
Life is just a lesson we may never fully learn

A constant struggle
Caught between heartbreak and love
Not only surviving, but living
Being kind and forgiving

Life is difficult because that is what makes us wiser
It teaches us to appreciate
The small things
The beautiful things
The overlooked things

The sound of the wind through the trees
Or crickets on a summer's night
Training pedals removed, skinned knees
Learning to get back up again
After being knocked down

Life is difficult because nothing worth having is ever easy
It's the fight that makes the time to smile that much more beautiful
It's the crying that makes us grow inside and even out
Taking life for what it's worth

A smile holds as much value as a frown
As up is to down
Life is sometimes hard
And sometimes it's easy
But it's always what you make it

When I was young
When I was small
The problems of the world didn't phase me at all

Small in stature
And in understanding
Wanting to be an adult
Then my life would be of my planning

The adults said, "Enjoy being a child while you still can!"
"Because time goes by fast and one day you will be a man."
Not realizing how short that time really was
I shook my head and didn't listen just because

I just didn't get it as a little person
That life really was easier as a child
Free to be free
Growing like a flower wild

The day of becoming a man
Came and went long ago
Lost was the sense of home and comfort
Once the weight of the world fell upon my shoulders

I now tell my son,
"Enjoy being a child while you still can!"
"Because time goes by fast and one day you will be a man."
He smiles and shakes his head
"You're probably right.  Okay dad."
And for that,
I'm glad

Things aren't the same
It's in your eyes I can see
Your kisses are empty
I'd rather you left
Than ignore me

If you have something to say
Don't leave me in silence

What's the point of coming home
Only to be left alone?

This isn't a game I wish to play

When you miss someone
The littlest things and everything
Will remind you of them

The emptiness felt
In their absence
Is only cured by their presence

Even now I still
Find your hair on things
And it kills me

No amount of distance or time
Will change how I feel about you
I still ponder it all in disbelief sometimes
The whole story is quite romantic
It's fact, not fiction
And that is hard to believe

Although missing you can make me feel
Stressed at times
I feel quite lucky
For having someone to miss
The way that I miss you

I miss things like
Holding your hand
Seeing you smile
The way we intoxicate
Each other

When you call
Hearing your voice
Puts you right next to me
And makes me miss you more

One day
Once we are finally together
I will miss you still
Just for going to the grocery store

Being a poet
Changes everything
The way you look and experience
It turns pain into beauty
It breaks down time

It speaks for you when you don't know what to say
It comes at times you can't sit down and write it out
It can keep you awake at night
It may offer you a smile when no one is there to see

Poetry is my outlet
It connects me with others that understand
I have made friends from other lands

When you need someone to talk to
And no one is there
The paper will listen to your pen
And suddenly, you know you aren't that alone again

Poetry has saved me from myself
And it's helped me save others from themselves
It has taught me to take time to really see things
For the truth
To notice the little things that actually matter

Writing poetry is therapy with no judgement
I am writing this to say *thank you

Every time a breakup happens
Someone loses a best friend
Someone to talk to
To confide in
To give into
To take from

There is a wide open sea
Full of potentials

But it's terrible
When you lose someone
You've already found

I don't need a 9 to 5
To use up all my time

Walking down the wild side
Showing what's on the inside
Just to live a little
Dancing for the moments
Instead of waiting
For that one song to play

Waiting for perfection
Will leave you with nothing
Except wasted time
Something as vivid as grey

The way the wind blows
The sound it gives
A memory of something missed
I miss how the sun shines
When it isn't
Whatever yours may be

I get angry
Or sad
Heartbroken and just broken
Over petty things I realize
But I have to let it go
And be reminded of the truth

Truth is something we all
Need to learn a little more about
We all love selfishly
And that's not love
We forget about what love
Is really supposed to be

We get too caught up in ourselves
We forget
About what really matters

Our babies
Our family
Our friends
We all forget sometimes
And that is okay
But try to remember
Before it's too late

Keep in mind
You are not by yourself
Even if it feels that way
There are people
(Friends, family, loves)
Remembering you

Don't let the anger and pain take hold
Remember the sunshine
When the sun's not shining
Because it will come back for you

As cold winter's wind
Touches our skin
It robs us fiercely
Of our precious warmth
It takes without asking
But serves it's part

All the seasons have purpose
And winter serves to remind us
That it's nice to be home and cozy
If you have someone to love
Hold them a little closer

A warmer tomorrow is never
That far off

Sometimes
We get through our Mondays
By wishing for Friday

When everything hurts and you're broken inside
Where do you run
When there's nowhere to hide?
Who do you call when you can't even talk?
The tears mumble up your words
The judge and jury
Of your broken hopes and dreams
Have found you guilty of being human
Worn and weary
Your soul is tired of fighting
Your eyes are tired of crying
The reality of what has been lost is horrifying
Inside, broken dreams linger
Where will you go to pick up the pieces?
Will you ever forgive yourself?

If I opened my soul
for you to see
Would you still want me?

If I needed a hug
when I was down
Would you turn my frown upside-down?

If I needed a romantic embrace
could I steal a kiss
Would you be mine to miss?

If I needed reassured
would you hold my hand?
Would you help me be a better man?

If I needed to not walk
on this earth alone
Would you give me a place in your heart to call my own?

Would you be mine
after listening to these words I've told
With you by my side
I have no fear of growing old

There was one
And that was all one ever knew
One got through this life on his own

One was alone until he met her
She had been one before as well
Together, they became two

Things changed from being about me
And everything became about us
Together, no longer alone
One and one became two

Two were together for a long time
And they did everything with each other
After a while, they created another one
And two plus one became three

These three became a unit, a family
The bigger two looked out for the smaller one
And that is how they got along

After some time
Life crept in and began to divide the three apart
Try as they might
Fight as they fight
They couldn't stay as three any longer

As everything fell apart
Three became two
And then two became one
Everyone was alone again
Just like the beginning, *the start

You wanted more
Even when you had it all
Your greed made you ungrateful
And you took your blessings for granted

You pushed your friends and family away
Replacing them instead with temporary friendships
Knowing they would never last
You made your relationships disposable
And tossed lovers aside

When you were told to get help
You couldn't swallow your pride
You didn't even go home when your mother died

You felt guilty because you knew she was sick
But couldn't find the time to call or visit
Because your schedule didn't allow it
You didn't try to make amends
You blamed everyone else

The last thing you took for granted was your health
By the time it was fleeting
You had no support left to give you strength
All you had left was your wealth
Everyone else had moved on
And already considered you gone

Even though you had it all
You tossed it aside
All alone is how you died

I smoke too much
I drink too much
I don't sleep enough
Balanced diet?  Ha
I don't exercise enough
But, this is the perspective of others
I don't just survive
I live
I feel
I do what it takes
To wind the clock to keep on ticking
Still young at heart
Even though I know time is flying by
Never to be replaced
No matter how busy
Or tired
Or burnt
I still take time to notice the wonderful things
Big or small
They are what keep me moving
And keep me
Young at heart

Young and free
Feeling like the world is yours
Avoiding advice
Saying, That won't be me!

Your weekend with friends didn't go as planned
Now you've got a baby on the way
And you haven't got a man

Up in the air
Your life got out of hand
No answers in sight
And you haven't got a plan

All your "best" friends
That you hold so dear
Can't make time to help you
They've made that clear

Alone the future brings fright
Not wanting to admit it
Your parents were right

Time passed
As you raised your baby on your own
Doing everything in your ability
To make a home

You made it work
Even when money was tight
Good men came along
But you pushed them away out of spite

You and your child got along just fine
Afraid to let anyone else in
Never letting someone
Hurt you again
Not this time

Your eyes gave away how vulnerable you were
And I welcomed you with trust and listening ears
No advantage was taken but I softly guided you
To places you'd never been
Dominance over you was nothing of control
But your protection and feeling safe in my arms
More intimately, your pleasure
Which you found could reach new heights
Or keeping you warm on cold winter nights
With great honor and responsibility
I am your Alpha and your man
I will always keep you safe
And treat you as best that I can

Tantric Poetry 2018

I used to close my eyes
To hide me away
From the things that were scaring me
When I didn't want to listen
When there were too many things going on

I've grown and undertaken
Some real mistakes
Misjudgments
Decisions that made me judge myself

I find that nowadays
Not much has changed
From when I was a little person
At least for me, anyways

I still see a lot of good
In people
We all want the best
For our children and our favored peers

But there is all of this fighting and disagreement
A true mess
But what future do you want to have?
A place to care and love one another?
Or somewhere to distinguish and compare?

We are all in this together
If you don't realize this by now
You are lost

I keep on trying to love people

Tomorrow will come
And the day will be yours
A new day to begin again

With yesterday behind you
The future is wide open and young
It is yours to explore

Your day will come
With open arms to welcome and embrace your soul

The future is your kingdom
And your heart is your throne

Your day will come
You will finally find your way back home

Next time
I'm gonna take my time
Spread it out so it lasts
Answering desire with your gasp
Your hair I pull with a gentle grasp
You've opened your body and soul to me
Being bound makes you feel free

I would never take advantage
Of the openness you've offered to me
I am your protector and your rock
Your pleasure is what brings my pleasure

The trust you give I cherish with respect
I know just when to let go
When my hands are around your neck

You know that I would never go too far
Because I know exactly what you can handle
Half of the pleasure is finding out what your limits are
The other half is finding the limits then raising the bar

Although I may be in charge and I may be in command
Your pleasure is what I seek
Your pleasure is what makes me feel free

When I needed words of encouragement
I came to you, vulnerable and broken
Instead of lifting me up
You cut me down
Your words were like a razor-blade had spoken

When I looked to you for guidance
I came to you, open mind and open heart
Instead of showing me the way
You snapped at me
Your words were the teeth of a shark

When I really needed someone to be there
I came to you, so I didn't feel so alone
Instead of being someone to lean on for support
You let me fall
Your words were like rocks thown

I had been alone the entire time
You had been by my side

When I needed you the most
You abandoned me

Left to figure it out on my own
It didn't take long
Before I knew I was better off
Without your negativity in my life

But I now know
I need to take more time
Before making a woman my wife!