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I have returned,
and perhaps I am now just an unwanted visitor.
But now,
I am in need of you.
Poetry,
you are my oxygen.

As usual,
I come bearing a new concept.
I have grown.
Not since my last visit,
but from my time of first developing this passion.
In this course of growth,
I’ve come to receive advice.
Little things.
Do this.
Do not do this.
Some things I’ve come to realize as myself.

Happiness.
In the years previous to the current,
I can pin point the key moments of my life.
The high and low tides,
shall we say.
At high tide,
I was a joy.
My cup never empty.
And although grim,
we each face low tides in our lives.

But,
sadness is not the concept of my visit.
No, for it is happiness.
I have come to realize,
that I am pleased to be here.
Here as in my life.
I have blossomed.
Made decisions both poor and superlative.
I have become the sculpter of my life.
And of course,
I am joyful.
Happiness surround my heart,
although,
it is not as my previous years.
For yes, I have come to love myself and the world around, but it is not the same.

So now,
I come to bring upon a message.
See I was once handed advice noting,
“life will always be changing.”
For yes,
this is correct.
We learn to be happy.
Then we grow.
Our happiness shifts,
but are we not still gay in our daily lives?
It is not as the previous state.
Life is always changing.
 Oct 2017 Natasha Ivory
Weronika
coming back home
to those empty walls;
craving food
which could also be love;
hearing the emptiness of my heart
growing bigger and bigger until it stops.

closing my eyes and seeing my death --
the causes of nightmares and insomnia;
cleaning the kitchen that is never used;
breathing for you,
even though you do not exist.

looking at the quiet room -- imagining it full;
the bed remains made
because nobody cared to mess it
 Oct 2017 Natasha Ivory
Nobody
I miss your voice the most.
it brought me this indescribable happiness,
so pure, so honest.

Please Forgive Me
I Forgive You
I Love You
Thank You
Goodbye

We are told to say this to a dying loved one.
Its been burned in my mind.

Please Forgive Me
I Forgive You
I Love You
Thank You
Goodbye

I gave you my heart, my soul,
my body and my mind.
You gave me hope, love,
completion and purpose.

Please Forgive Me
I Forgive You
I Love You
Thank You
Goodbye

For the first time in my life I couldn't
wait to go to sleep once I got home,
not because i was lazy
or due to lack of sleep.
Something wonderful and amazing happened to me.

I didn't have to hide in my mind,
dreams couldn't, wouldn't, compare to reality.

I was exited to be alive,
every morning id leap out of bed and whisper your name under my breath.

Please Forgive Me
I Forgive You
I Love You
Thank You
Goodbye

I've lost everyone, and everything
that meant something to me.
I'm getting closer to death.

Please Forgive Me
I Forgive You
I Love You
Thank You
Goodbye.
I hope to see you soon.
I don't want to live anymore.
my arms are burning.

there are invisible ants
devouring my skin
and thorns
piercing my body

a stream of liquid rose petals
floods down my hands
drips from my fingertips
trickles to the floor!

it is the only thing
I
FEEL

and i’m addicted
i’m addicted addicted addicted—

My body is filled with ROSES.

Bite my tongue
Carve my skin
Tear off every layer
Pierce my heart
Cut off my neck
Impale my head

Let rose petals spill from me while I watch.
—“they love me, they love me not,” i whisper
 Jan 2017 Natasha Ivory
Jade
Should I let the current pull me away from land?

Breakups are like being uprooted from your home,
Pulled away from the familiar
Things you're comfortable with and things you've known
Finding yourself in the weirdest situations
Not quite comfortable in your skin

I've lost the boy who sang to me
I've lost what I thought was meant to be
I can no longer look at this place without remembering the times we had
A sin I indulge in when I'm feeling sad
I'm lost and I'm not sure if I can be found
I hope he sees this but I hope he's bound
I can't make up my mind
The words choke me up
I drown

This is not a poem
This is not a song
I can't think of either
Without my smile going down

This is not a sonnet
This is not a love song
Those were what we exchanged
But you've buried me down
Locked me up
Tied me down
I hope you're happy
I hope you won't frown
I hope you know I love you
I think you should know
Even now.

I hope you see this
But then I hope you don't
I hope you've found someone
But I hope you don't

This is not a poem
This cannot be my song
I cannot claim to keep
What was so fleeting
So transient I tripped
 Jan 2017 Natasha Ivory
Leandra
I loved you when we were together
I love you still to this day
Our love was broken two months ago
I mask my pain with a smile and a laugh
I see you with all this other girls
Seeing you make them smile
Remembering when I was that girl
I refused to love anyone else
I torture myself by watching you go on with your life
While I am still stuck in the past
I'm holding on the hope you see me like I see you
That you come back to me
I hold on to the memories
I lock myself in my room with them
I locked up my heart in a box and wrote your name on it
So I remember that it is yours and only yours
Because I promised you that I will love you and only you forever.
UGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUHHUHHHH
 Jan 2017 Natasha Ivory
Solaces
On the far side of me was you.  I ride on my lightning bike passed Neptune in route toward home.  Its good to see my solar system.  I have been all over the galaxy.  Seen wonders no one has ever seen.  And yet none are as wonderous as you smiling at me for but a moment.  I cannot have you nor will I steal you away.  All I want is your smile. Just to see it.  Then I will ride off for the 2nd universe.  On my lightning bike made of star glass.  To see if I can find a wonder that is more wonderous than you.  I smile at the thought of me coming back again. Just to view your smile.  Because I know that even in the 2nd universe there is nothing more beautiful than you.
And there she is.
Sometimes God heals us
from the affliction,
but more often
He heals us
through it
~~~
Goodbye HP and so very much love to you always!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y43Z0WJLDS4
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