i'm usually good with words
and putting together sentences
in an attempt
to create a sensation similar
to looking up at the stars
just to see them looking back at you.
i'm often good with words
and writing paragraphs
and stories
of happier days
and lives that are better than the one that i'm living.
i'm typically good with words
i could string together plenty of sentences
about why we'd be good together
but it's to the point
where no words can describe
the high i get from being around you.
you've taken my vocabulary and shuffled my letters
and stole all the xs and os
and replaced them with my longing to steal all your xs.

whispers of sweet nothings in her ear
kind words with air being blown
breath, moist and warm
lingers on her collarbone

soft tongue caress
the warm flesh of her clavicle
and cool fingers undress
removing the last article
  of clothing

mouth meets salty sweat, and
lips trace her silhouette

the day your lips greeted mine
the time my fist grazed your chest
the instances where my tears rolled off my cheeks
the lies rolled off my tongue
the infidelity
the abuse
the dependency

you extra fry in the bottom of the bag you sleeping in on a tuesday morning you good hair day you all night drinking with no hangover you warm towel straight from the dryer you new friend in the back of a new york taxi cab you misinterpreted abstract art you lost concert ticket you frost bitten fingertip you half dranken water bottle you misspelled word you unwanted bouquet on valentines day you deadline yesterday you uncashed check you college rejection you cannibalistic praying mantis you paper cut from an envelope  you coup de tat you cat got your tongue you swallowed words you split lip you straggly strand of split ends you broken vase you five missed calls you broken necklace clasp you half hearted apology

not blue, not green
o, nothing loud
not pink, not red
gray
mo·not·o·nous
simple, relaxing
the color of rain clouds
and sleeping in
on a tuesday morning
and the cool breeze
of a lake in january
and the smell of pavement
after it rains

n.d.

in your backyard
slaying dragons
with a twig for a sword
the worst pain i knew:
   a splinter.
in my driveway
playing hopscotch,
hide-and-seek, tag-you're-it
the worst pain i knew:
   a scraped knee
in our own rooms
in our own beds
texting other people
the worst pain i know:
   missing you

n.d.