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Natalie Holmes Jul 2015
I hugged you in my dream.
I wrapped my around your waist and pressed my cheek against your chest.
A light blue shirt. Maybe plaid.

I showed you something you would need in your future.
A tip.
And you inspired me to do better in mine.
A light.

I hugged you in my dream and I can still feel your vibrations, your warmth, your thin waist in my arms.
I can still feel the hesitant beat of your heart and the cracks in your voice as you speak.

Last night, I hugged you in my dream.
I'm pretty sure you hugged me back.
Natalie Holmes Jun 2015
And on my way the light turns red.
Now I’m stuck with time to think.
Maybe I should turn around
But your warmth is calling me.

Red light adding seconds to my clock.
One second is all I need.
My cup is full of arguments
But for you, I’d spill my drink.

Fingers drum and throat, it catches.
Legs stick to vinyl seats.
Logic sings and reason whistles
But your hiss, it sounds so sweet.

Skip this song and then the next.
**** this whole CD.
As time, it stops. Decision reached.

But then the light turns green.
Natalie Holmes May 2015
I saw you just last night at our old hang out.
Hadn't seen you in such a while
And though I contemplated striking conversation,
being bold was never quite my style.
So I watch you from the corner of my eye now.
As my head floods with denial and with doubt
And though I'm brimming with inspired revelations,
I just sit here and reminisce about:

When you were mine.
Oh, when you were mine.
When you were mine...
But when you were thinking about me I had other things on my mind.

And I'm far too weak for this to go unnoticed.
But I'm far too strong to let you see me cry.
And though I crave so hard to tell you what I'm thinking,
I care way too much for subtleties to tell you outright.

So I just smile, when you look my way.
And I pretend that I'm happier this way.
Make believe this was all part of my plan,
as I watch you walk away holding her hand.
I'll just watch you walk away holding her hand.


Now I might pick up the phone later tonight,
with your number dripping from my finger tips.
I might happen to mumble something stupid.
The words: "I love you" just might escape my lips.
But ****, I might just be too fond of day-dreams.
Cuz being bold is certainly not my style
And though I'm dying to tell you what it is I'm thinking,
I care way too much for subtleties to tell you outright.

So I just smile, when you look my way.
And I pretend that I'm happier this way.
Make believe it was all part of my plan,
as I watch you walk away holding her hand.
I just watched you walk away holding her hand.


Now I'll go to bed tonight and just think about you,
and how I can't believe I let you get away.
And though for all these months I have kept so quiet,
the little girl inside me is begging me to scream:

Wish you were mine.
I wish you were mine.
Wish you were mine...
But when you were thinking about me, I had other things on my mind.

And I'm far too weak for this to go unnoticed.
But I'm far too strong to let you see me cry...
And though I'm dying to tell you what it is I'm feeling,
I care way too much for the subtleties to tell you outright.

So I just smile. And I'll turn away.
Tell myself I'm much happier this way.
Make believe that I even had a plan,
when all I wanna do is hold your hand.

But I just watched you walk away....
Natalie Holmes May 2015
Brain waves sway in this cerebral cyclone.
Eating, breathing, bleeding in a home that isn't my home.
Breathing? BREATHING? What are we doing that for?
Abusing and losing. But who's keeping score?
Racing, chasing, running in a circle now.
The same train of thoughts has fallen off the tracks now.
Trying to abide by all your stupid rules now.
Searching for the answers in a mind that's shut downnnnnnn..

Get me out of this new cerebral cyclone.
Ringing! RINGING! That isn't a telephone!
Air-conditioned suppositions and amenities to die for.
View of the pool and a washer-dryer combo.
It's useless to use this scattered brain jumbled mess.
We go from 60 to zero.

But we wear less to impress.

Now we're preparing to pretend that this isn't the end.
When we know that it's time to detonate.
We hear the wind chime now, it's time to unwind now.
But to be thrown off the rocker' s our fate.

Oh, what we'd give for a sweet cerebral cyclone.
Noisy voices in my head, but at least I'm not alone.
Dreaming.. Dreaming... Leave us on the bathroom floor.
Lovely ****** tub with amenities galore.
Natalie Holmes May 2015
My poor defenseless tongue.
It gets trapped behind my teeth.
It gets bitten, it gets choked on,
when all it wants to do is speak.

My poor defenseless heart.
Locked behind a cage of steel.
Still it's beaten, still it's broken,
when all it wants to do is feel.

My poor defenseless brain.
It gets shut out by the two.
Sends impulses to heart and tongue,
but they can't seem to follow through.

Oh, my poor defenseless tongue.
Must be connected to my heart.
For they're both showed the  proper moves to make,
both get stopped before they start.

— The End —