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Natalie B Feb 2013
Don't scream
Don't yell
Now shh,
Don't tell.
...
It's gone.
Wow.
Natalie B Apr 2014
So I've been gone
Away for a while
Life wasn't good
Nothing made me smile

My lips didn't twitch
My heart didn't beat
My mind didn't think
I was incomplete

But now I've returned
I came back from the grave
I'm feeling alright now!
I'm no longer life's slave.

That's what I tell them
That's what I'll say
But I forgot how to feel
My emotions went away

How do you scream?
And how do you fear?
How do you love?
I couldn't tell you my dear

I miss it
I miss it
I miss knowing how to feel
All that's left of me
Is a hollow shell
I know
I'd be terrified
If I only knew how.
bye
Natalie B May 2013
bye
i hope you
sigh,
cry,
die.
oh my.
so sly,
you spy,
a private eye.
wonder why?
i'll imply
when you lie,
then you deny.
lets untie,
and say goodbye.
Natalie B Sep 2015
as time ticks away
my mind wanders to thoughts of
your sapphire eyes
Natalie B Mar 2013
I am so absolutely sick of
Every last one
Of your little tricks.

I am so absolutely done
With every word you say.
Your lies only make me want to run.

I am so absolutely through
With any friendship I've ever had with
You.
wrote this a while ago. didn't really know who i was writing about, but boy, do i know now.
Natalie B Dec 2012
Remember that old saying,
That real friends
Will always be with you?

And if you do remember,
I just want to know
If you'll only tell me this...

Chicka, are you staying?
Natalie B Dec 2012
I was falling,
Slowly but surely.
And silly me.
I was positive,
That you would catch me.
Too bad
I was wrong.
Natalie B Feb 2013
Are you really
So blind
That you cannot see
How far
Far
Far
Away
You're pushing me?
Or am I the one
Doing the pushing?
Natalie B Dec 2012
My dear,
You've set my expectations to high.
You were flawless,
The perfect guy.
When you did that,
I just sat here and cried.
Now I'm ruined.
All I can say is goodbye.
Natalie B Dec 2012
I'm painting my room grey
To match my mood.

LOL, sadness.
hm.
Natalie B Jan 2013
hm.
I find it
Unbearably tiring
To continue
Speaking to you.
Natalie B May 2013
I wonder why
We do the things we do.
I'm sitting here asking myself,
Do you wonder, too?

Do you ever ask
Why we hurt and cry?
Do you ever question
Why we cheat and lie?

These are the things
That constantly haunt my mind.
If you peel away a thoughtful mask,
What exactly will you find?

People can be ruthless,
Not caring what they say.
They'll knock down any other
Who will stand and block their way.
Natalie B Dec 2012
I stay up hours on end,
Just thinking.
They ask, about what?
They all ask
How are you?
How was your day?
Expecting the truth.
Yet every day
My response
Is the same.

I'm good, I say.
I'm alright, I say.
Will it ever change?
The ongoing lie?
Will I ever fit the image,
That everyone has of me?
That charming girl with the smiling face?

Darling,
I'm a liar.
I guess I've gotten pretty good.
Will I ever act the way I feel?
I wonder if I ever should.
Natalie B Dec 2012
I remember I used to think
That kisses
Were something special.
But now,
I've given them
To you,
And you,
And you,
And you.
Did any of them really mean a thing?
Because to me,
It seems like they would all
Give my kisses away
For a dime.
Natalie B Mar 2013
gettin' bored
same old game
nothin' new
pretty plain.

thoughts come
thoughts go
i used to wonder
but now i know.

it's gettin' boring
it's gettin' old
it might be time
for me to go.
Natalie B Feb 2013
Should I cover up?
Should I let them be?
Should I let you see
What you've done to me?

Are you so blind?
The cuts are there.
My wrists are bare.
Do you refuse to see
What you've done to me?
Natalie B Apr 2013
Have you ever had a moment,
When you can't do anything but cry?

Have you ever had that moment,
When you really wish you'd die?

Have you ever had a boyfriend,
Who had *** with your "best friend"?

Have you ever had that though,
When you wish your life would end?
Natalie B Dec 2012
Merry Christmas,
Have some tea.
Maybe then you'll be happy.

Merry Christmas,
Have a candle.
Pretend your life's enough to handle.

Merry Christmas,
Have some make-up.
Play pretend you two won't break up.

Merry Christmas,
Let's paint your room.
Make it fit to be your tomb.

Merry Christmas
To you, too.
All I want is to be with you.
Natalie B Feb 2013
Hey there girlfriend,
I love those big brown eyes.
Not much like mine, big and blue.

You have the hair to match,  brown and long,
While mine is long and blonde.

You are totes gonna blow those girls of the board today.
Just don't think to much about Elliot and you'll be fine.

If you're mother of the team,
Then I'd be your baby freshman.

If you looked in the stands,
Popstar is directly to my left.

I hope you like big butts and you cannot lie,
Cause I have a big **** when I fly.

Love,
Your secret swimmer.
To the lovely Alina for this swim team thing we do(:
no.
Natalie B Mar 2013
no.
You are
SMOTHERING me.

****.
Natalie B Dec 2012
No. No. No.
The only thing
That I can think
When our hands touch
Or our lips meet.

No. No. No.
This is all wrong,
Not at all the way
It's supposed to be
Between you and me.

Am I ruined?
Am I broken?
What in the world is wrong with me?
If my mind is telling me no,
Then what part of me is telling me yes?
Natalie B Dec 2012
Do you still remember
That night that we met?
Out on the dock
Playing truth or dare?
And you walked over,
Cause there was your friend?

My dear,
The second I saw you,
I knew I was hooked.
By the way that you stood.
I knew that I wanted you,
I knew you were too good.

The thing is, my dear,
That I was wrong.
You went with the flow,
And strung me along.
We talked every day,
You even showed me that song.

Then that night,
You know the one.
You were in town,
And we wanted to have fun.
So I snuck out to meet you,
And my life then just begun.

From the second we first kissed,
I knew I was stuck.
The way you tasted,
Like brandy and scotch.
The way you tasted,
I just couldn't get enough.

But then, it was over.
In the blink of an eye.
You made out with her then,
But was I really surprised?
Did I really expect I was something special?
Did I really expect I was one of a kind?

Of course not, my dear.
I just should have known.
She's more special than I,
And no, I'm not mad.
I know that I don't deserve
An explanation of why.
Natalie B Dec 2012
Every time
He calls me perfect
I hate myself
Just a little bit more.
Natalie B Dec 2012
The same story,
The same lines,
The same actions,
The same crimes.

A different time,
A different place,
Yet always the same
Pretty little face.

I know your story,
I know your lines,
I know your actions
Will lead to crimes.
Natalie B Apr 2013
I think of boyfriends as
Sandwiches.

I don't share my sandwiches,
They're for me and no one else.
Apparently some people,
Think they can take them for themselves.

If you had a sandwich,
You'd think the same way.
I'd just get my own
Sandwich in a day.

When I have a sandwich,
I expect you
To do the same, too.

You may like this sandwich.
Hell, it might even be your favorite kind.
That doesn't mean you can go and
EAT MINE.
Natalie B Dec 2012
Secret this,
Secret you,
Secret that,
Secret us, too.

The world is obsessed with secrets.
I'm beginning to figure out why.
When your whole life's a secret,
There's nothing we can't try.
We can do anything we want,
As long as the secrets don't get by.
Natalie B Jan 2013
A day with the girls,
(trying to do...) spins and twirls,
Not a care in the world,
Just a day with my girls.
Had a happy day today.(:
Natalie B Mar 2013
that guy over there?
the one with the long, blonde hair?
he's a special one.

he's stuck with me,
through the hard times or not.
but trust me, there's been a lot.

he's put up with all of my ****
when most people would've had a fit.
he stays right by my side.

that guy over there?
the one that really, really cares?
he's mine.
Natalie B Dec 2012
Somehow my logic
Has failed to work.
What am I doing?
How is this going to go?
Why do I make all these
Stupid decisions
With no reason why?
All these questions
I keep asking myself.
Yet all I want to do
Is go make another
Stupid decision.
Natalie B Dec 2012
Every day,
You make these jokes.
These horrible, horrible lies,
Yet you never give a second glance.

But this time,
You're spot on.
I don't know if you really saw,
Or if you're just trying to be funny.

I already know,
That you'll tell them all
About my ***** little secret.
Hopefully, they'll all just think its another lie.

Will you be my boy who cried wolf?
Natalie B Dec 2012
I wonder why
We do the things we do.
And I'm sitting here asking myself,
Do you wonder, too?
Gonna add more to this later, I just didn't want to forget it.
Natalie B Mar 2013
So what
If absolutely nothing
Turned out the way
We all thought it would?
Natalie B Apr 2013
Honey doll
So much to say
Time running by
Day by day
I can't say I miss
How we used to talk
Oh, you don't understand?
I'll talk you for a walk.

You lied,
You're a *****,
No apology?
What a witch.
You're boring, obnoxious,
I won't forget rude.
Your jokes are insulting,
And to say the least crude.
Conversation grows dull,
It's always the same,
Your life's "oh so horrid"!
But you're the one to blame.
You hurt me so badly,
And you knew it, too.
Yet you don't get the picture.
I'm trying to get away..
FROM YOU.
Natalie B Dec 2012
My brother
Has a friend
With the same name as you.
And every time
I hear someone say
Your common *** name,
I cringe and
Try to forget that
You ever meant something
Special to me.
I know it *****. Don't yell at mee.
Natalie B Dec 2012
Twinkle, twinkle, little *****,
Tell me why you're such a snitch.

Down below us all so low,
Down as far as you can go.

Why don't you run and get your knife,
Just take that leap and end your life.
I had a dream and the world was singing this to me. Lovely, isn't it?
Natalie B Mar 2013
oh no,
not again.
please don't let me go
down this same path again.

stop it,
don't do it.
you'll regret it.
but oh no, no i won't.

it's going to.
it's happening.
i've started this habit again.
but i know they won't care.

and even if they did,
they can't stop me.
Natalie B Dec 2012
I don't wanna be a ****,
I don't wanna be a *****,
I don't wanna be that girl anymore.

I just wanna make out with your face..
Natalie B Jul 2013
i'm just having
one of those days
where everything just *****
and you can't do
anything
about it.
Natalie B Jan 2013
"You're now a *****,
Just only with your lips."
Thanks.
Natalie B Mar 2013
So I searched my name on google,
And guess what popped up?

This.
Like, ****.
Guess I'll have to change my name.
Natalie B Dec 2012
He calls me beautiful.
Every.
Single.
Day.
Is it wrong,
That I don't feel the same way?
What are you to do,
When someone says,
I love you?
Do I lie,
and say,
I love you too?
Natalie B Dec 2012
Is it all in my head?
...
I think so...

Did I make it all up?
...
I hope so...

What is real
And what isn't?
Somewhere
In the midst of it,
The line
Between the two
Blurred.
Natalie B Dec 2012
And as I slowly slip
In and out
Of consciousnesses,
I can't help
But to
Think of
You.
Natalie B Dec 2012
What's the word
That gets in the way
Of every single
Thing,
Person,
Anything,
That's fun in my life?

ILLEGAL.
Natalie B Dec 2012
You and me?
We're two peas in a pod.
We laugh,
We talk,
We kissed,
We fight.
But now, we're just friends.
Two of a kind.
Just two people
Having a good old time.
To bad
That people assume
That we're
Having
***.
Natalie B Jul 2013
i've never been so unsure
about who i am
or who we were.

but especially me.
who am i going to be?

do i want to be the victim,
always helpless to their lies?

do i want to be that person
who cheats and ruins lives?

or could i be the one who judges
while sitting on the side?

but any path i choose
i'd always wonder

of what could have been

would have been

if only

i chose another.
Natalie B Dec 2012
Just smile,
It makes you happy!
They say.
Just eat,
You're already so skinny!
They say.
You're perfect,
Don't be so sad!
They say.

Why are you so fake?
Get that smile off your face.
They say.
Why are you so fat?
Just stop eating.
They say.
Why are you so horrible?
Just stop trying.
They say.

But soon,
Oh so soon,
Their words will be to much.
And she'll just want to
End it all.
Natalie B Mar 2013
Wrong place, wrong time.
Wrong decision, wrong crime.

I'm stupid.
I'm stupid.
I'm stupid.
Ruining my life like this now?
It's not something
That time can fix.
Silly girl,
Everyone knows
You just don't cross that line.
Natalie B Apr 2013
You used to wonder,
You consistently asked
About my depression
And what I keep masked.

You drove me back
To my harmful ways
Needing to hide my wrists
I was in a daze.

I couldn't speak
I wanted to die
When I saw you with her
I could only curl up and cry.

I finally told you
What was going on in my head
I've been hurt and broken
I was used and mislead.

You promised me
That you'd do me no wrong
You'd keep me so close
I'd be yours for so long.

But still.
Everything.
You.
Do.

Is with her.
...

What have I done wrong?
Natalie B Jan 2013
What's wrong?
Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Why do you ask
Such stupid questions?

Of course, I'm not.

I put on a smile
But inside I want to cry.
Sometime, the smile fades
And you ask why.

Darlin, you should know
That when you're constantly flirting with her,
It doesn't make me feel good.
That's for sure.

I told you everything.
You should know,
That I've been broken down
Since a long time ago.

Do it right, boy,
Or you're gonna lose me.
Treat me right, boy,
Or that's my guarantee.

— The End —