it’s a different kind of sad
not a sad i miss you
not a sad where i can’t let you go
it’s a different kind of sad
a sad like what if everyone i meet gets bored of me
a sad that makes you wonder if you’re too hard to love
a sad where you gave too much and you wonder if you’ll ever get that back
a sad where no one understands
a sad that leaves you asking why
a sad where you never feel yourself in your own home
a sad where you don’t have a home
a sad that you keep getting lost in
and wonder through alone

i would always tell you that you taught me so much
and that was the truth
except i think you thought it meant something different
you taught me to love myself, because i could never expect that from you
you taught me i was the only person there for myself, because you never were
you taught me how to be patient
because you always had a short temper
you taught me how to be happy because you never gave that to me
you taught me to treat others with only love
because i knew how much it hurt that you didn’t love me