I’m sorry
For having a wonderful life
After you’ve gone

The pain you left me
Was intolerable
That I decided to deceive it with happiness

Where I found the freedom
Of loving myself

The sun shines so bright,
guess it shall be
my forever true love's kiss.

Gentle breeze slaps my cheeks,
wonder why it is softer than your words?
And why,
why does your presence
hurt more than your silence?

When all we had
was beautiful memory.
And they said,
beautiful things are temporary,
I wonder if you count?

If love does exist,
why all that I ever felt was pain?
Sparks that were once there,
disappeared.

In another life,
may the one with genuine heart
receive more than one gives.

In another life,
may the heart healer
find peace one has been longing for.

In another life,
may the heart breaker
taste one's own actions.

In another life,
may we know each other better,
giving all to understand,
rather than arguments.

In another life,
may we find each other
as soul mates,
not heart healer and heart breaker.

Sincerely,
Jia.

I wish someone could reach my hand
when I was still drowning
in the tears of darkness.
I'm scared,
afraid when I look at the depth of my own sorrow.
It's full of tragedy and trauma
that causes me anxieties.
Awaken at midnight as it haunts me.
I wish someone could hear me
crying for help

At 22
I found out that
life *****.
No matter how hard I look at it,
even from different perspectives
I still find that
life *****
It couldn't get any better,
I had tried,
believe me
I really did.

I wish you were the sun that could keep me warm
I wish you were the moon that brings me the light
Then I realized
you were neither
but a rainbow
that stay with me
only after cloudy days.

Loving you was a great idea
But baby,
We forgot that God has better plan.

Fck feelings,
take me out from here,
death.

I wonder how it feels to be loved by your own dad.

I have never been missing someone this much,
help me, oh God.
I’m drowning deep in the ocean,
hoping you would come and save me.
I wish you know that I’ll be missing you forever, and it will never stop.

Life is tiring,
I’m either  
surviving or dying.

Everyone deserves to be happy but
Not everyone will achieve happiness.
Some will die, some will achieve it but not in the way the person wants.

Haven't seen you for awhile now, moon.
Wanted to share so many things with you but afraid it's not the right time.

The truth is everyone is afraid of death, so am I.

I write when I have no one to turn to.
I draw when no one understands my words.
I walk when the place has nothing great to offer anymore.

Staring at the window,
Looking at the raindrops,
Wondering if there's
Still light left in me.
How my heart gets so hard
That it cannot be heal, yet.
I guess it starts last year
Where things were in mess.
No, I don't want to remember,
So, goodnight.

Life is unfair, comical but
beautiful as a whole.

Andai rembulan berhenti menyinarkan cahaya matahari,
Janganlah engkau lupa akan daku,
Memori memori indah kita berdua,
Walau tak seberapa.
Andai pada masa hadapan,
Engkau jauh dariku,
Mohonlah pada Tuhan
Supaya didekatkan kita berdua
Sekali lagi.

Lying on bed,
Wondering when will my life ends..
If living a thousand years give me heartbreaks,
I would rather die.

The feelings I have,
Are fading.
Should I be scared
Or just pretending to be fine?

It's alright,
You'll be fine.
I'm always here,
Everything's going to be just fine.

Nothing left inside this broken heart
Whose belong to a broken child.
Some say she's strong that she survives untill now but nobody knows the journey she had.
She only have one faith in her life,
Hoping that one day it will be heard.

Beautiful,
I say that million times when I see your name.
It really fits you though.
I fell the first time I saw that brown eyes of yours.
I had tried my best to avoid any feelings but you're just perfect to me.
Is this what they called, love at first sight or is it just an infatuation?
I wonder.

"Aku dah penat dengan hidup aku,
korang tak penat ke dengan aku?"

Love is a feeling that doesn’t necessarily need to be in every one of us,
but in each moment of our life.

"Tuhan wujudkan kegelapan supaya kita boleh nampak bintang."

Is it that hard to confess?
Oh let me change it,
Is it hard to tell the truth?

They say the remedy to happiness is
By staying low and love everyone equally.
What if I had done that and yet, sadness still haunt me?
Who should I blame for?

Is there such thing
as feelingless?
If yes,
where can I have one?

I hope you can see how I see you.
Just look at the moon right now
And you'll know,
How bright you are in my life.
You always bring light to me
Especially when my life turns dark.
Just so you know,
You can find me among the stars,
But you can't love me like
How you love that one star, right?

Penat,
Penat melayan karenah.
Penat mempercayai tutur kata manusia.
Hampir tidak kuduga,
manusia bergelar sahabat sanggup berbuat sedemikian rupa.
Selama ini aku percaya setiap bait yang kau tuturkan,
Kenapa hari ini kau dustakan?
Adakah aku hanya manusia biasa bagi kau?

Told myself to stop,
Stop giving love they don't deserve.
Stop pretending to be okay and
Cry whenever I want to.
Carrying this broken heart is much more painful than I thought.
People believe that love can cure,
When don't even know
What real love means.
The word love has been polluted
By those who don't appreciate it.

I always tell myself to let go the past
I know sometimes, it hurts.
But then I ask myself,
What's the point of having the past on your back?
Nothing, really.

I'm in my room looking for the star, the brightest one of course through the window of my room.

You said stars light the brightest when they're in the dark but why  I can't see any of them in this dark heart of mine?

My first love was a flower.
He cheered me up with the beautiful petals he had.
I hope he knew that I was really happy back then.
The colours of him still stuck in my mind till now.
I was the water that gave him freshness,
But all he needed was lights from the sun.

I'm in the class,
Listening to my lecturer's story.
Outside is raining heavily
And I start thinking...
Wondering where could the first drop of the rain be when it starts to rain?
How the rainbow has so many colours while the cloud is only blue?
And why the sun is always alone while the moon is accompanied by the stars?
I always wondering about thing around me
But then, I tell myself,
That sometimes, things are better left unanswered.

Here I am,
Thinking what would happen tomorrow.
Hoping it'll  be a better day.
To be honest, I miss home already.
I feel like everything seems to be wronged.
Nothing is right for now.
I can't stop thinking of my lil brother and my mum and my room.
I just want to spend all my life with books.
I wish I could but that's too much.
No one I could talk to, cuz everyone is having their own problems.
So, here I am, writting what's inside me.