Most girls dream
Wait for their One
Anticipate his arrival
Will make them someone

Some girls' wait
Oh so brief
Mine so painful
Must be grief

He must've died
Long before we met
Made just for me
And somehow yet

His time was over
Before ours began
I'll never be his bride
Never hold his hand

No moonlit dance
No goodmorning texts
No late night talks
No angry ***

Never to meet the man
Meant to make me whole
Forever fragmented
Nothing left to console

I hope he misses me too
But doesn't hurt like this
And I hope he knows
I know I'm his

My body is too **** for me.
I think God got a little carried away
when he created the contour of my curves
because I had too many Bs for a girl who only got As.
*****, **** and Brains they would say.
I got attention in class for assets I didn't know I had.
Society tells me this isn't so bad.

"You get such hot guys"
My new college friend told me
As if she knew I didn't deserve them.
"You're so ****"
boys would flatter
looking everywhere but my face.

I am an oversized sweater studier
Stuck in a **** tight dress world.
I wish I could say my triple Ds were batteries.
I'd rather have the power.

I worry that the light
at the end of this
deceivingly long tunnel
may turn out to be
nothing but a little girl
with a lighter
whispering "sorry"

You should know
that I eat mini Oreos like cereal
and I think most things are beautiful
and I'd rather stay up way too late
than miss an adventure
because good adventures
are few and far between.
You should know
as much as I strive for perfection
I'm terrified of being perfect
so I don't take off my makeup
so when I look in the mirror in the morning
I'm reminded that a mess means
someone's been there.
You should know
that I usually wear sneakers
because nothing, especially shoes
should hold you back
if there is ever a desire to run.
You should know that there is constantly
a five ton rock on my shoulders
a monkey on my back
and a mask on my face.
You should know
that robots have feelings too
and if you ever find a perfect field
save me a spot next to you.
You should know
nothing would make me smile
more than perfect strawberries.
You should know
nature isn't meant to be perfect
but it'd be a nice sign
that someone's on my side
and knows all that you should.

Thought I'd feel less alone
When you came home
But I didn't.
Expected to feel whole again
With more than friends
But I didn't.
Thought you were all I need
to feel complete
But you're not.

I was at the supermarket
in front of aisle three
the first time you said
that you loved me.

It was through a text
because you're a ****
and it was only because
I gave you the homework.

I was getting dressed
just standing there humming
the first time you asked
me to homecoming.

It was over the phone
because you're so lazy
and it was only because
your first choice went crazy.

We were in class
hardly learning a bit
the first time that we
exchanged some spit.

It was through a drink lid
oh so nonchalantly
and it was only because
you wanted my coffee.

Only friends
is how we ended up
and I don't mind sharing
love, dates or a cup.

Somehow you still seem
to make me happy
but prom is coming up
and please don't ask me.

At least somebody loves me,
I said to the being
who braided me selflessly
from her own flesh .
Everybody loves you,
exhaled the being
whose job it is to
keep my heart beating.
Not the ones who matter,
I said with such anger
that makes her heart shatter
because I've said it again.
The ones who love you
are the ones who matter
she says with a bit too
much sense to bear.