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Jul 11 · 143
Ten Years Ago
Mystery Girl Jul 11
I was in this same house
Up late and unable to sleep
Feeling a heavy sadness
Like storm clouds in my chest
I guess some things never change
The desire for poetic connection
Lessened depression
An ache buried in my bones
For freedom from this life
Jul 11 · 68
Fight?
Mystery Girl Jul 11
Fighting at every turn
Giving up on myself
Facing danger again
Letting it happen
Instead of loving
I let others hurt me
The worst self harm
Because I don't think
Don't listen to reason
Let them touch me
When I say I won't
Am I easily swayed
Or lying to myself
Can't be trusted
To protect my body
My heart
Open for pain
To walk right in
Like I want it
Like I need it
Apr 26 · 122
I Hate This House
Mystery Girl Apr 26
I hate this house
Where you lived
Where you died
So full of memories
But still so empty
My heart aches for you
Crying out, "MAMA!"
And I scream but
I make no sound
My grief is an anchor
Keeping me grounded
But pulling me under
I can't fight it this year
The weight of a decade
Smothering and suffocating
I ******* miss you
Apr 19 · 177
Pen Pals
Mystery Girl Apr 19
We were pen pals
Exchanging poems
Back and forth
Back and forth
Sharing bits of our lives
Within each line
Spilling secrets
Sharing tales
Opening our hearts
Just to finally
Tear each other apart
Sep 2023 · 240
More
Mystery Girl Sep 2023
Kiss me fast and hard
Til my lips are raw
And I can't breathe
Touch me softly
With your hands like fire
Burn your imprint
Deep into my skin
I want to feel you
In my bloodstream
Drink until I'm dizzy
From the taste of your skin
Sep 2023 · 273
Anxiety Shakes
Mystery Girl Sep 2023
If they had a sound
It would be a can of loose screws
Sitting on a washing machine
A constant jangle of bits and pieces

If they had a taste
It would be sour candy
And a battery on your tongue
Electric and sharp all at once

If you could touch them
They would feel like static
And cotton *****
Unpleasantly soft with a scratchy tingle

If you breathed them in
It would be rubbing alcohol
With cinnamon and pepper
A raw burn followed by touches of spice

But when you see them
You might not realize
A bouncing leg here
Drumming fingers there
Sep 2023 · 164
Want
Mystery Girl Sep 2023
All I want is a connection
Someone to get it
To get ME
Someone that will see the darkness
That lives in my heart
And choose not to run from it
To look past my insecurities
And jealous tendencies
Remind me they love me
****
I just want someone to love me

please
Sep 2023 · 153
The Pen I Hold
Mystery Girl Sep 2023
I used to write love poems
Verses of my dedication to you
Now I stare at empty pages
Hoping the pen I hold
Will start moving already
Scribbling all the thoughts
Running through my mind
Pulling my memories of you
From the darkest corners
Where I put you to avoid
The pain that echoed
Endlessly through the hole
Your presence left in my heart
Mar 2023 · 362
Springing Forward
Mystery Girl Mar 2023
Where things decay
New growth replaces
Mushrooms on dead trees
Barren trees and
Blooming wild violets
Mid February
Pear trees blossoming
From early sunsets
To early sunrises
Spring following harsh winters
Changes are coming

Can I embrace them?
Mar 2023 · 294
Untitled #29
Mystery Girl Mar 2023
There are traces of you
Left in my memory
A flash of your smile here
A laugh there
Reminding me
How loved I was
And how much I loved
Being in this world
The joy I found even in
The most mundane moments
I spent by your side
And I am filled
With an endless peace
Mar 2023 · 292
I Can't Do It
Mystery Girl Mar 2023
I'm drowning here
My tears and fears
Pooling up around me
All the pain I've ever felt
I'm sinking
Slowly but surely
Eaten alive
By the demons within
Heart shredded to pieces
Stomach torn apart
Ribcage shattered
Puncturing my lungs
Murdered from the inside
Is this suicide?

I can't ******* do it
Mar 2023 · 263
I Miss
Mystery Girl Mar 2023
I miss peace
I miss stability
The days before I knew rage
Before I worried
My pain would consume me
The days when I didn’t feel
Like I could never be whole again
Before I was aggressive
Abusive
Before I shook and stuttered
When I wasn’t afraid
To claim my space
I miss the days
When I didn’t feel
So **** disconnected
Mar 2023 · 235
Happy Birthday (2023)
Mystery Girl Mar 2023
Another year passes
Aging but not changing
Like I’m stuck
In an endless loop
The highs and lows
Come and go
But they never really go
Hibernating for days, weeks,
Maybe months at a time
If I’m lucky
But I’m never lucky, am I?
This might be the worst birthday yet
Feb 2021 · 1.2k
Tag
Mystery Girl Feb 2021
Tag
You've always just assumed
That your love was one sided
There was no way I could
Ever return those feelings
And all this time
You've been so wrong about me
I've been afraid in the past
Of those feelings
Of what being with you would mean
But that fear went away
A long time ago
Replaced by the reality
That our lives went in different directions
That certain things don't work anymore
But none of that changes
The feelings that I had for you
That I have for you
That I'll always have for you
I love you.
Apr 2020 · 1.2k
Unsure
Mystery Girl Apr 2020
What do I say
When I can't find words
Unsure how to respond
My heart is failing
To give me direction
Have I made
The right decisions
Is this how I'll feel
For the rest of my life
So unsure of myself
Nov 2019 · 1.0k
Four Months
Mystery Girl Nov 2019
It has been four months
To the **** day
Since you posted last
And I find myself
Searching your name
Trying to find a new
Piece of you
Written somewhere on
This ******* site
I must be pathetic
It's been so long since
We even talked to each other
And we've both
Moved on with our lives
What the hell am I doing
Desiring your words
Like never before
Sep 2019 · 1.1k
Move
Mystery Girl Sep 2019
I have this desire
Burning fiercely
Telling me to
Drop everything here
Transfer and move
Far up north
Away from my life
Ignoring phone calls
And text messages
From my loved ones
When they question
What happened to me
But I don't have answers
Only the desire
To change everything
Start a whole new life
My body is screaming now
GO
BE BETTER
CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Nov 2018 · 1.7k
Dreams Make Me Miss You
Mystery Girl Nov 2018
I dreamt about you last night
About us
Someone didn't want us together
So we took off
Planning our whole life
We were going to build a house
Start a little family
Our love was so real
And finally
FINALLY had a place
To grow and flourish
Living up to its full potential
And my god
It was beautiful
Oct 2018 · 1.6k
Tag, You're It
Mystery Girl Oct 2018
I guess it's my turn now
Tag, you're it
Hey
I miss you
Our signature phrase
We crossed paths
At the wrong time
Not quite able to handle
The potential we had
Tag, you're it
I ran from you
Instead of being open
Honest about my feelings
An emotional game of hide and seek
Tag, you're it
I'm sorry I didn't
Trust you enough
Or trust what we had
Tag, you're it
My feelings never left me
Light bulbs never went out
I'll always love you
At least I think so
When I read
All the things we
Wrote to each other
Out of love
And spite
Tag, you're it
I wish things were different
But the past is the past
Can't change what's done
Tag, you're it
Now come and get me
Sep 2018 · 1.8k
Untitled #28
Mystery Girl Sep 2018
pretty eyes
won't you let me in
past the walls
you've built around
your tender heart
May 2018 · 1.7k
Heart Emojis
Mystery Girl May 2018
I send you a message while you sleep
So that when you wake up
You'll know I was thinking about you
And at the end of the text
I leave a single heart emoji
Not because I want to tell you
That I love you
But because for me they are a symbol
Of affection and warmth
Just something to remind you
That I care about you
Apr 2018 · 1.6k
Who? When?
Mystery Girl Apr 2018
Who can I turn to
When I feel like there's no one
Who will hear my words
When it feels like no one listens
Who will hold my hand
When it feels like no one even sees me
Who will hug me
When I can't seem to stop crying
Who will talk me through it
When I shake and rock
Who will wipe away my tears
When they flood down my face
Apr 2018 · 1.6k
April
Mystery Girl Apr 2018
I miss you every day
Even when I'm not
Thinking about it
It's always there
In the back of my mind
Waiting for April
To force its way
To the front
Waiting for the chance
To be the center
Of my attention
And I read sad things
Sing sad songs
Write sad things
Because I can't help myself
I need to feel sad
Because if I don't
I'm afraid I won't
Be able to feel at all
Apr 2018 · 1.5k
Just My Feelings
Mystery Girl Apr 2018
It started out
As something simple
Consenting adults
Enjoying each other's company
Nothing more
But things are changing for me
I used to only think
About how much you
Turned me on
Now when I think of you
I remember how it feels
When you put your hand
On my face, my back
I remember how it feels
When you kiss my forehead
And look me in the eyes
How it feels to just
Sit and talk with you
I remember every time
You put your arms around me
The little squeezes
I remember laying in bed
Looking at you
My hands tracing your face
Running across your chest
Up and down your arms
Now I'm not saying that
I'm falling in love or anything
But my feelings will only grow
And it might be a problem
Mar 2018 · 1.3k
Dear First Love,
Mystery Girl Mar 2018
There are so many things
I want to say to you
But I don't have the guts
To hit the send button
Don't even know
What I would type out
Maybe tell you that
I love you
Or that I wish I
Had never walked away
Maybe that hearing
You're having a baby
Devastated me
It's my fault though
That you're engaged
Having a baby
While I sit and miss you
I regret not telling you
Exactly how I felt
When I had the chance
Because now we're
Different people
Living different lives
Mar 2018 · 1.3k
Relive
Mystery Girl Mar 2018
Every time I see your words
The ones that I know were meant for me
I remember the way it felt to read them
For the first time
I remember how much you meant them
And how much I meant my responses
Back when there was us
No label necessary
Just us
And I remember all of the things I've ever felt
All the love that poured out of me
The sadness and anger
The longing for you
And I relive the time
That I never want to forget
Feb 2018 · 1.9k
Two Years
Mystery Girl Feb 2018
Two years ago you loved me
Now you love her
And I love you
I always have
I always will
Two years didn't get rid of it
Other men didn't get rid of it
It's always there
In the back of my mind
The boy that became a man
The one I grew to love
And I loved you fiercely
Though I know I never
Expressed it well
And was afraid of many things
That part was real and unwavering
Three long years
That turned into ash and dust
Because I let you down
Failed to make you realize
My love was there
And it was strong
So strong that every time
I forgot why I was angry with you
And just wanted to hear from you
So strong that to this day
You are still my greatest love
But I guess none of that matters now
You moved on and found someone else
It's been two long years
Without you in my life
I wish I had never pushed you out
And I know that I sound crazy
That's fine
I think I took some of yours
Somewhere along the way
Don't mind my words too much
I'm just a little unsteady lately
A bit of a wreck
Can't take me seriously
Emotions going in every direction
Body telling me that I'm sick
Though it's only my mind in ruins
Right
Here I go again getting off track
I can't say that I'm happy for you
Because I'm not
I wish things were different
I wish that woman was me
I'm not happy that you found someone
To replace me so quickly
I'm not happy that you're going
To spend the rest of your life
Making someone else happy
But I am happy for your happiness
You deserve it
Feb 2018 · 1.0k
R.G.
Mystery Girl Feb 2018
I've known you for years
We were friends as first
But feelings grew
You told me things
I refused to believe
But I fell just the same
Scared to tell you
Afraid you would leave
For someone better
Or that you were lying
Took me a long time to tell you
How I felt
But when I did
It was the most wonderful feeling
To hear you say it back
And you scared me
How different you were
Than what I was used to
How open you were about things
That I was so shy about
Things I had never experienced
I was waiting for
It made me nervous
I thought you would get bored of me
And my boring life
I didn't know how to be
And by the time I had grown
Experienced things
It was too late
I had already ruined what we had
You were the greatest love I ever had
And I want to apologize
I never lead you on
Lied to you about my feelings
I just wasn't ready
For the love you had to give
I wish things were different
I changed
Grew up
Became someone ready
To accept the physical love
With the emotional
And I miss you
A tremendous amount
But it doesn't matter
I lost you
You're gone because I
Pushed you away
And I know apologies never
Meant anything for us
But I am so sorry
For every ounce of doubt
I put in your mind
Every bit of pain I ever caused you
And I am so happy for you
That you found someone
To spend your life with
I wish you the best of luck and happiness
Feb 2018 · 949
Stepping Stone
Mystery Girl Feb 2018
I am a stepping stone
Worn and *****
You cross my path
On your way to
Bigger and better things
It might take a while
But never worry
You'll get there
I will help you take those steps
Bringing smiles to your face
Until you don't need me anymore
And you'll continue to the next
Mystery Girl Feb 2018
February 14th
Another day in another year
Same old thing
Always lonely
Wasting my day with
Stupid games and movies
Wishing, hoping
Maybe it'll be different this year
But it never is
Jan 2018 · 930
Happy
Mystery Girl Jan 2018
I'm happy that everyone is
Lost in the loveliness of their own lives
I'm happy that there's so much good
For the people that I care so much about
I'm happy that some people still feel
The pleasure of joy
Instead of being stuck in pits of misery
And sadness
I'm happy that some have gotten out of misery
And found their way to something much better
I'm happy that everyone is so........
Happy
Even though I'm not
Sep 2017 · 1.2k
Today (Part 2)
Mystery Girl Sep 2017
I sat in a dark space alone
And sobbed
I watched blood seep through my jeans
I realized how worthless I am
I decided that it's got to end
Jun 2017 · 1.5k
Rush
Mystery Girl Jun 2017
Sometimes I forget how well you write
Until I see your words
Laid out before me
You always seem to know exactly what to say
And when I read those words
I feel it
Leaving indents in my brain
Pumping blood through my body
I feel it with every inhale and exhale
My heart stops for a second
Your words paralyze me
And I search for you
Waiting for the next rush
Apr 2017 · 1.8k
Old Friend
Mystery Girl Apr 2017
I check for your poems
Every month, week, sometimes day
Hoping for a new release
I remember how close we once were
And how everything changed
It used to bother me but
Now it's just strange to remember
How we talked for hours on end
Trying to hold on to something
That I think we both knew would never work
I guess that's just how it goes
My old friend
I'm just too scared to say
Hey. I miss you
Dec 2016 · 1.7k
Untitled #27
Mystery Girl Dec 2016
You said that I would forget
But you were wrong
I didn't forget you
Or what you meant to me
You're not just some guy I talked to
Who said he loves me
You are and forever will be
The second man I ever loved
You'll always be part of my past
Intertwined in my memories
Part of what made me who I am
And I'll never forget
Oct 2016 · 2.0k
Walls
Mystery Girl Oct 2016
The day my walls crash down
And crumble on the ground at my feet
Will be the beginning of the end
You'll find your way in
Find every secret I try to hide
Uncover every fear I have
All my hopes and dreams exposed
Then one day you'll leave
Walk over the remains around my heart
As if I never meant a thing to you
It'll be so easy to do
To leave me devastated and destroyed
Surrounded by the ashes
Of the love you once felt for me
And you'll move on as if I never happened
I'll watch from afar
As someone else captures your attention
With a sparkle in your eyes
You will love her as you love me now
Crushing the few unbroken pieces
Of my heart, of my spirit
And I will still foolishly love you
Inspired by Walls-Kings of Leon
Aug 2016 · 1.7k
Untitled #26
Mystery Girl Aug 2016
Drowning in emotions
I just can't seem to get away from them
My life jacket nowhere to be found
Misery like a current
Pulling at my ankles
Letting go just long enough
For me to gasp for air
Before dragging me back under
Pressure crushing my lungs
I can't breathe
Aug 2016 · 1.9k
Untitled #25
Mystery Girl Aug 2016
Bottle after bottle
Pulling me in
I'm drowning in the buzz
My life jacket in this misery
The only thing keeping me afloat
Under the crushing weight
Of my uselessness
Aug 2016 · 1.5k
Untitled #24
Mystery Girl Aug 2016
It always starts with just a sip
Maybe a shot
Then the games begin
And I want it
The burning in my throat
The room keeps spinning
Round and round
I keep downing more and more
Prolonging the buzz
Until it's more than just a tingle
Mystery Girl Jun 2016
It's not a competition
This idea you argue,
That someone has to have it worse,
Is only doing damage
To already broken people
There's no need for comparison
We all have problems
I trusted you with my secret
So that we could help each other,
Because what are we here for
If not one another,
It wasn't for you to judge me
Or tell me that your problems are worse
I didn't tell you
So you could make me feel bad
I came to you
In the confidence of friendship
Because I thought that you,
Of all people, would understand
Since you're dealing with your own issues
And I wouldn't feel so alone
I never realized I could be wrong
In thinking you had my back
But I surely won't make that mistake again
Why do you do this?
IT HAS TO STOP
We can't bully each other
About these illnesses
Fighting accomplishes nothing
And I will be the first to admit
That I need to work on who I am
But we all do
In our own different ways
Because the situations are not equal
Don't pretend that they are
My situation affects me
And yours affects you
Differently
It may seem like nothing to you
But it's breaking me down inside
Destroying my world
Swallowing me whole
And because of you
Because you would rather hurt me
Than help me
I only have two options
I can either figure it out on my own,
It wouldn't be the first time,
Or I can let it make me sick
So sick that I "look the part"
So no one can deny it anymore
But by then it will be too late
And I will only be an example
Of how no one cares
Until it's too late to help
So let's be a better example
For those of us to come
May 2016 · 1.4k
OKAY
Mystery Girl May 2016
I'M NOT OKAY
And I am so sick of pretending
That everything is fine
There is something wrong
I can feel it
I just don't know what it is yet
Mar 2016 · 2.2k
Soothe My Soul
Mystery Girl Mar 2016
You ease my fears
Calm my worries
With your soft voice
Gentle touch
Tender kisses
You soothe my soul
Mar 2016 · 1.4k
Untitled #23
Mystery Girl Mar 2016
With paint covered fingers
The sky paints the sunset
Breathtakingly beautiful
Warming the souls
Of all who see it
Mar 2016 · 1.6k
Hope
Mystery Girl Mar 2016
Feeling the warmth of the sun
Shining down on my face
The cool breeze blowing in my hair
Petrichor and the rain
Washing through me
The taste of freshly made desserts
Painting my taste buds with joy
Watercolors and acrylics
Paintings that turned out decent
Sketches not half bad
Small smiles on my face
Happy memories popping up
These things give me hope
That there is more
More than this numbness
I've grown so used to
They give me hope that one day
I won't have to hurt anymore
Hope that I can be free
To trust and love
Hope that I can live again
Mar 2016 · 1.2k
Healing
Mystery Girl Mar 2016
Slowly wrap your arms around me
Gently hold me close to you
So that I might feel your heartbeat
Through your favorite t-shirt
Let it calm my violent tears
Soothe my hurting heart
Take care of my soul please
Because I can't do it myself
Mar 2016 · 2.5k
Chasing the Sun
Mystery Girl Mar 2016
I have this overwhelming urge
To jump in my car and drive
Chasing the sun to the ends of the Earth
Following the rainbow
Hoping it might lead me
To the *** of gold at the end
Praying the sun's rays
Might guide my journey
Lead me to the light
Sparkling in your eyes
I have this overwhelming urge
To chase the sun all the way
Straight into your arms
Mar 2016 · 1.4k
Worth It
Mystery Girl Mar 2016
Don't you stress my dear
Tears will fall
But you'll be okay I promise
These heartbreaks are your lessons
Teaching you what not to do
When you meet the right one
They are preparation
For the one you are meant for
And they are out there somewhere
Going through the same training
The same heartbreaks
Preparing for you
And when you meet
It will all have been worth it
Feb 2016 · 941
Happy Birthday (2016)
Mystery Girl Feb 2016
This year passing
Leaves me much more pleasantly
Than two years before
But I find myself here
As the day comes to an end
Wondering about you
Because I still care
And never wanted it to end like this
So here I go again
Lurking in these shadows
Mere hours before the day ends
My 20th birthday
Mystery Girl Feb 2016
They say your eyes are windows to your soul
Well I got blackout curtains
My feelings will not get out
I got soundproof walls
This is the end of it
No more peeping toms
Or ears pressed to doors
No one will ever know
What hides inside of me
Me secrets and my past
Are mine and mine alone now
Those who know will know
But those who know nothing
Will be left in the dark
With the bright exterior I will display
Feb 2016 · 869
Home State Seasons
Mystery Girl Feb 2016
I walk outside and all I see
Are the surrounding houses
I can't see miles out
My home is a hilly place
Surrounded by mountains
Leaves turn to red and orange
Setting the trees on fire
For a couple of weeks
Before they all fall down
Leaving bare branches and gray skies
Such hope when there was 60 degree weather
In the middle of December
Then January hit and so did the snow
Gone in a couple of days
Then there are more nice days
That turn to rain
And when you start seeing green it's time
Mosquitos come running
To munch on you all day
Better get some bug spray
Spring brings the bees
Flying everywhere you go
Wasps all over and in your car
Days get longer, hotter
Swimming pools used frequently
Nights are warm too
Everything is great
Then the real heat hits
Sweat dripping down nearly every face
Soaking through t-shirts
Sandals everywhere
Shorts galore
Girls in barely anything
Men going shirtless on occasion
Mowing the yard or going for a run
Air conditioning and ice tea
Grills going on the weekends
Then it starts to cool down
Leaves change once more
Setting the trees on fire again
Home state seasons
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