I got this feeling

a morning sun

my inbox empty
pages are ripped and burned
into the wind

I got this feeling
a late evening

I never saw you again
don't hurry
I'll see you again
don't worry

I got this heavy feeling
I'm sorry

sleeping with the windows open

three walls
everyone knows where I am

let me see you again
without feeling regret

I know this feeling
of plastic love

a love that is not real
I only imagined it

I'm just playing games

Never did I imagine myself
living so lonely

That my friends have slowly become
my plants
stray cats
the stars

and the sky

I never imagined
this life
for us

Wherever it takes us
let us hear the rain
survive the heat
and cold

I won't promise
I don't hope

I just want to grow closer
over time

Make memories
for distant days

The sound of rain
falling on
the ceiling
/ \ \

My ears are hurting
from my recent piercing

I've been ignoring someone
that I know I'll talk to in a few days

The street outside
is flooded

everyone has gone to sleep
and have nothing to dream of

I can hear the rain fall
the puddles with rain drops

There is no storm

no lightning

Just me
and the heavy clouds

Let me sleep now

in a dream full of rain

I see things from the corner of my eye
I've never told anyone that

shadows
walk
back and forth
on my front porch

a man
a lost woman

the monster under my bed
now lies beside me

when you asked me an important question
I lied to you

be happy
it wasn't to your face

camouflaged in the dark
If I see things
I should be their friend

Your God blessed me with no sound

I'll never hear the shadows
walk around me

I wrote a poem
of a poem
about a poem

I wrote you a poem
inspired by a poem
of another poem

you'll never read it

It's catching fire
the ashes are lost

I spent an hour
writing you a letter

where I wrote you a poem

you'll never speak of it

it's hidden in a drawer
sealed

catching fire

you'll never see it

To
you

From
Me

cutting my fingers off

I want to befriend the birds
that land by my window
in the morning

the cat that almost
came inside my kitchen
the same morning

cutting out my eyes

I want to leave my home
take a one-way ticket to the moon

foot on the gas
passing all the red lights
I'm ready to go

twisting my skin
turning into dust

passing all the stop signs
I'm ready to go

swallow my tongue

I've gone insane
in a few days

the flesh on my body
melting away

I'm eating up clouds
but I still feel so hollow

I know my heart will always stay shallow

Don't defend me

I feel the shame
from miles away

I know I'm guilty
but you made me feel so afraid

I can't be happy in my own skin
I can't look at my face

Ever since you saw my flaws
I know I can't be enough

Chew me up
Swallow your lies
You turn your face to side

Walk away when you lie
You can't help
   never answer back

Cut me up
throw me around

Now I'm gone

I kinda miss
the way
You never loved me

The way you made me feel
so less

A lovely
lonely feeling

Inside me chest
whenever I'm with you

My
Mr lonely

Faces turned to walls

I was talking to the sky
my whole childhood
instead of my mom

I always hugged the moon goodnight
because my father
was never home at night

Walls hear all of the secrets
I slept without a worry
days seem so blurry

Where I would lay in bed
without a thought in my mind

I looked up to trees
and jumped so high
I couldn't breathe

Life seems smaller now
In ways
I can't remember
What it is to be young

My poor veins
carry my blood
so slowly

I'll soon be turned into a wall

fly me to a cloud

I know it's not a game

it's not okay

I'm your nightmare

A rose so pretty
it kills you
I'm the one who
picks you apart

when the time comes
you'll be begging for my help

life is so funny

you'll wish
you didn't do it

it's alright
I know to play mind games

I've written almost 25k words
One day
I won't write anymore

The days I don't want to speak
everyone wants to talk to me

The days I want to rant
No one is listening

If they want to love me
They'll accept me

I'm sick of having a phone
I dream of breaking the screen in half

I sent you messages
You'll never reply to

I only say hi
leave me hanging

Stranded alone

when you call me

I go to places
no one hears us

I can't feel mad

When I promise myself
I won't think of you

I'm lost

In my arms
I hold the sun

The one and only
you look up to in the mornings

I've disappeared
leaving you in a shadow

I hear it in my sleep
the distant drips and drops

I dream of an understanding

A universal language
between the stars and I

I hear it in my daydreams

yellow roses
in my coffee

thinking of you
if I call you back
I'll keep dreaming

I don't want to be in love with you
for so long

I know that the feelings never last forever

water so cold
by the morning so warm

I don't want to know if you love me or not

there are clouds in my
glass of milk

dreamy little star

A feeling so good
All I see is white and stars
let me breathe you in

I might go to sleep
there's a rainy week ahead
I'm falling in sleep

Picking away
the skin
on my fingers

I can't sleep
so I talk with strangers

My family is a big disaster
I want to change my name
and forget about my father

My fingers start to bleed
I got a cut on my toe
it's hard to breathe

sometimes
when everyone
expects the best of me

There's no better me

Hard to imagine
me ever changing
drastically

I'm a bit dangerous when I smile
you always look away when I say the truth

thinking I'm not talking about you

I'm feeling upside down

whispering
the young are loved

I'm a little lonely
I'm feeling lovely

playing mind games
you smoke and drink
I follow your footsteps

having a little fun

whispering
the young are loved

now you love me so much
send me hugs and kisses

I can't hear the rainfall
my eyes are getting smaller

I'm feeling so young

you make me 21

following your steps
we only fall deeper

this darkness never ends
holding hands

send me hugs and kisses
there's magic in your kind of fun
a spell I'm under

when I fall back into reality
I'm reminded it's a curse

listen pretty girl
with the pretty voice and eyes
time is getting cold

all the leaves will fall
can I hold you when it's cold
your warm hands in mine

I'm cold by myself
listen here pretty girl I
want your hands in mine

come there's a small fire
the stars are in my pocket
we can fly away

have a little fun
slipped into an unconsciousness
midnight chills I'm cold

I can't be honest
I wrote you a letter
I'll never send

I can't show you myself
for who I really am

I'm a pretty cloud
floating away

You loved me
when I was deep in
deep waters
I was drowning

I've never talked back
I let my words cut me deep inside

I've got a lot on my mind

so please call 9 1 1
if you don't hear from me

call me
9 1 1

I'm not feeling well
you're a liar

I can't be honest
with people who never change

you're the loneliest man alive
now I'm your
Ms. Lonely

No one knows the real you
like I do

I want to tell him

Why hide away

Smoke your cigarettes
in front of your mom

Drink with your dad

You have that mischievous smile
Always looking for trouble

No one knows you like I do

I don't want to say

You're not as innocent as they say

Pretty dress
pretty colored lips

No one knows
I don't even know you
most of the time

Glowing sunlight
under the heavy clouds
mountainside
what's on the other side

Let's catch the sun
buy me a star

I want to keep them in my room

I don't know

I don't want to be alone

I'm afraid of giving up

I'm so scared of being alone

In this grey world

Where no one knows

September filled with
water lilies
and warm, soft lies

I talk to you so careless
forgetting our past problems

Trees are changing
the clouds aren't the same

the sky and stars are rearranging

September's cool breeze
warm sunshine
giving the flowers one last bloom

Soon comes fall

Summer's last days
Summer's last breath

All over me

I feel it dying
inside me

write with love
for love

write out your anger
before it becomes a danger

write out your pain
in case it gets heavy inside your chest

write out your ideas and thoughts that flow in your head
don't lose them
they can become a masterpiece

Always write out
who are you
if you're losing yourself

writing in my dreams
writing in my sleep

I never want to stop myself
from expressing myself

you pulled the words from my head
and threw them far away

I'll get them back

he says
he likes my name
so I lay down
waiting for the rain

it only lasts five minutes
I can't keep secrets from her

I'm stabbing myself in the back
before anyone else does

I got two faces

smiling so weak

I don't want to wake up
to know your still asleep

don't dream without me

love when you wake me up with a kiss

make it last forever

I'm singing myself to death

/

smoke your cigarettes
behind me

I forgot
we don't know each other well
we pretend we do

you're the perfect daughter

does your father know
you're never out drinking water

I smell the cigarette smoke behind me

hours pass
aren't you tired of standing
of always lying

the mask you wear
falls when you look away

I can see past your facade

waste your money

you'll always be a kind of lovely

I don't want to be with you

don't love me

I don't like your name

We can change it

I can keep secrets
I'll stay quiet

I laugh in my sleep
I cry in my dreams

I'm always dying
when she comes around

I bloom for her
so she can pick me from the ground

I don't like your frown
I can change it

I'm always quiet
I got a lot of things to hide

I never have time to see the moon rise
I only see the moon disappear
in pastel hues
of the morning sky

when do the ******* clouds disappear

I love the sun only in the early mornings
If I could **** it
I would get it

the smoke out of your mouth
I wish I could keep

it's all of you
I'll ever see

we can't touch

we can't grow closer

if you ever burn away

I'll keep your ashes on me

where does the sun go
when does the moon wake up

you never get better

you don't need to leave
pulling our strings apart

don't call me
if it's raining

don't love me
if it's one-sided love

worthless

I should hurt less

I'm still loving you
I'm putting stars in my eyes
hearts in my mouth

I'd love to eat you out
but you keep dancing around

I'm no toy to play around with
stop putting me away

we should make out
kiss and don't tell

we should go out
If no one is around

come lay down

my heart feels like a million bubbles exploding
every time I hear your voice

bubble baths in your bathtub
what do you think

should I hold your hand
holding my breath

Well he comes and goes
without a heart
everyone knows

The smile you broke
I can't find the pieces to it
now I'm broke

He's old
gotta say it

But his mind
is never playing

He writes without a saying
yet he says what everyone is thinking

It's not 2015 anymore
I'm not so small
and torn

Sharp like thorn

He comes and goes

When the tree's leaves fall
I'll remember
our lost days

When you painted them white

Christmas never felt so warm
I'll always remember

Let me just walk home
I'll walk for hours
I don't want to enter that house anymore

What a pretty city
pretty houses
but I don't see any pretty faces around it

I wanted to be your friend
I never thought it would end like this

I started to like the color pink
Just like you

Then began the fighting
the hiding
all the secrets and the lying

The lighting was away
hearing thunderstorms in my sleep
I heard that you were dying

I wrote some bad things
then came a time
where the sky was filled with lightning

I miss it
now

I really wish I was there right now

Why must things happen for a reason

I want to go back
to relive a few days

Take away the sadness
and heartache

I miss it now
I'll never be there
not right now

The city filled with rain
how my tears never came

I wish I didn't throw away the bad parts of me
I wish I gave you my secrets to see
now I have a hole in me

will you take them
under the water
I'm feeling so bothered

wish I didn't throw away the good parts of me
now I'm not sure what's left in me

come and find them
deep waters
hurry
I can't concentrate

I got missing parts of me
deep underwater

I'm running
from regrets

friends disappeared
and they're still asking for me

the words to my heart
fading

bring them back

find my broken parts submerged
I'll be whole

She's feeling dead inside
her heart beat frozen

so strange
How she writes of only heartbreak

Talking of love with an empty feeling

It was only a cloudy day
you don't have to be so sad

It won't rain soon

The sun will shine

Love only hits you
when it wants to

so stop crying if he doesn't love you
You can always love someone else
who will accept your heart

It doesn't always have to be about
broken hearts
and lost feelings

You can live life
without falling in love

loving yourself

I can't imagine

I won't feel pity
nor will I say sorry

I'll tell her
You are strong

Stronger than those lost bones
Than the lost flesh

I can't imagine

not touching the ground
even if I'm always in the clouds

I can't imagine not walking to my bed
even when I'm always there

to never touch the bathtub floor
water flowing around my toes

I know you're afraid
and scared of a sudden loss

You've lived a long life
I know you can overcome this
and heal

It'll take a while for the light to come in

It takes 8 minutes for sunlight to reach earth
You've seen it come and go
for over sixty years

Let us see it a few more

I've seen beautiful people
beautiful flowers

I've heard beautiful melodies
beautiful voices

None compare to you
We should stop talking

We drive in circles
we drive each other crazy
I love that

When the 1st came around
I didn't feel so around

Wherever you are
I feel half full

I'm talking
not listening

The moment feels like forever
until you see the full moon

I realize I haven't seen such beautiful

I don't love
I just want you to love me only

I can't feel
so I break you with my emptiness

I want you to only see me
even if I can't see you

I'm leaving
I want you to stay

J can't love myself
so I hope you love yourself

I break you with my silence
and indecisiveness

I want the world
I won't give you all

I never give myself away
Never fall so quickly

I miss the moon in the afternoon
It's night I don't want it

I want everyone to give me everything

without asking for something in return

Blue lights

Will you ever fall for me

I'm changing
I've lost myself before

Will you look for my love

I'm growing up

I'm accepting things
I don't want to

It's peaceful
the moment you fall asleep

Worries disappear

A beautiful white dream


I'm dreaming

A dream of dreams that dreaming children have

I was overreacting
thinking you were crying

I hope you're always happy
Never see you cry

Stay happy

I never want to see you crying

It's been a long day

I just want to take a nap

suddenly it's raining in my room

Feels like a black dream

Please always stay full
I never want to see you sad

I'm a liar
A person you call a friend

Please love me
so it can be okay

I'm tired and
You hear nothing I say

Please tell everything will be okay


I have missed calls
unread messages

I have no explanations


I leave

I leave my friends alone

I'm still learning to let go

I have it coming

Tell me when I'm falling

I'd help you
You're not my friend

I'm known as no face
I have no name

I was almost called the wind
You never see me
Only hear or feel me

I'd love to get to know you
my brain makes up excuses
on why not to

You look so pretty
but I never have the guts
to compliment you

Now I'll be known for being shy
Ask me whatever you want
and I'll reply

I once had a face
They took it away

I'm starting to forget
Who I really am

I have to look at the sky sometimes
while evaa sings to me

I realize that these days are bigger than they seem

The sun is looking for someone
so lonely

I'm small
compare me to someone else
I never reach the far

Gazing at the sky
deep in my eyes

I'm small
these days
are smaller than I thought

It's almost the end of the month

It's raining in my room
I see a cotton candy sky outside

A plant died

A star on top of your head

The clouds fading away

Rain puddles on my bed

It's coming in through the cracks

Stones thrown
at my window

I'm living in a storm

Only in my room

Should I remind you
I'm a broken mess
can't be fixed

All I want to do is go
I won't sleep
No goodnight for you

Please stop crying
don't ever worry

We all want understanding
what about empathy

Where's the love

I'm not the type
to open my heart

I only open it
to myself

Full moon soon
endings comfort me

should I buy you candy
should I get you a balloon

I like toys and dolls
houses with small chairs

do you want to play a game
doesn't matter what's your age

I'm feeling kinda hazy
would you say I'm crazy

I forget that I'm growing up

I forget that I'm no longer
a child
my teen years filled with flowers

oh
how they die so fast

I forget we grow up
in a blink of an eye

thought maybe you and I
could find a fairy
a diamond in the sky

I like bears
pink bows
glitter nails

don't you want to play
it doesn't matter if you go
we can play tomorrow all over again

I'm feeling kind of dizzy
won't you say I'm crazy

I forgot that I've grown up

no more playgrounds
no more running around

I forget that I am growing up

once a flower
now pressed dead

If only I could believe

like I once did

all those beautiful dreams
gone to sleep

Roses are red
Violets aren't blue

The one I love isn't you

I've been looking for someone else
I'm so tired of your heart
Clinging onto mine

Bring me down
We lay in the dark

Let's
let this go
aren't you horrified
my eyes wet
You love how my sadness
waters your insecurities

There is love everywhere
I must learn to find it in the wind

In a cloud
A word
In a  laugh

I'll keep on loving something else

Violets aren't blue
I wish you knew

I've been asleep since yesterday
He says he loves his eyes

Oh my
I'm always reminded

You pick a fight
And I want to wake up

This day never ends
Letting the wind
hug me to sleep

I'm daydreaming
of our beginning

Maybe he should call me next time
I'm still asleep

I can barely see the green

I feel like every word I speak
is random

I want to be on your good side

Don't worry
I know you'll never love me

Soft space
tears on my face

I won't tell you
about the storm clouds in my head

Don't you love my darker side

I got demons
that have no place to go

I want the bright side

I give you all my emotions

Showing you all things hidden
my heart
is found

I know you have your eyes set on someone else

I'm following you
automatically

I want to be on the same path
You choose to take

I can't ever get past it

I don't want to feel like I'm hanging around

Please tell me something

I know you'll never know me

Soft dreams
believing
but also grieving

Let's stop talking
I love it when we stay quiet

Mm
love silence

Let's keep quiet
there's nothing to discuss
dismiss all these problems

Mm
I love our silence

I'm never understood
I'm always writing
I have things to say

I stay silent
I'm always watching

I can't say what I want to say

No one ever cares
anyways

We just loving talking
filled with empty words

let's stop talking
I want to hear nothing

liar
liar
your blood seems lighter

telling me I can't reach your age
let's fight

call you once
now twice
maybe one more time

saying the young
can't reach your mind

look who's beside you
her eyes filled with youth

you like younger girls

little unfair

you play a ***** game
let's fight

calling me once
now two times
maybe one more time

I'll cry with you
I'll forget your real name
I love your dark side
I love the demons in your head
I make them go away

I'll let you lay your head on my shoulder
I won't leave you alone

I make things look so easy
in my head
I drown

before I even see the surface

I'm trying to make it through

I'll give you my light
I'll carry the weight

to keep your pretty smile

feels like a flower
I just want to touch her hair
glitter in my eyes

love her too little
too much I might break, not safe
it's 1-800 call me

if you ever want
I can hold your hands in mine
I can help you love