Dreaming alone
with no one to hold
I feel refreshed moving clouds floating west
There's nothing to worry about right now
Tomorrow my millions of worries
slowly creep inside my body
for when I wake up
I'll brush my teeth
I've not noticed
the sun is missing

I hope one day
soon
I can delete your number
never speak to you again

How could I ever try and understand such a cold man
Heartless too

you have no feelings
for those who love you

When I need you the most
You're never there


This one is for you

All the tears that have fallen
down my chin

all of the words
written with heartbreak

I'm tired of feeling this way

In 565 days I'll be somewhere dead
I'll be in hotel room 31
It'll be 1:22
With a window so high
I'll almost believe I can fly
Not so far away
I can hear you talk
The promises you break
Burn away
I want to sleep away
dream a reality
I'll never see

I'm not depressed
I'm just sad
I'm not drowning
I'm falling so slowly
walls around me crumbling
I'm fine
I don't cry
I'm not questioning my reality
I will not scream
losing faith in me
hands shaking
retracing my steps
clouds walking west
most people never understand
my girlfriends don't understand
he won't understand

a bird
a tree
a cloud
a feeling

the moments of
reckless behavior
when no one
is watching me

I want to stay here
in the corner of my mind
it's always sunny
with slow breathing

I just want someone to hold me
hold me tightly

I always feel like my life goes in circles
back again
to the start
never reaching the end

all I ever do is
repeat my mistakes
I write the same thing
over and over
it's the same pain

life
dies
whenever I'm around

my lack of sympathy
gets me in problems
I don't want to

just a little older
the air
less cold

if I could touch the sun
I would

I see a lovely sunset
from the opposite side
of the sky
hidden in trees
covered in green
wrapped around orange hues and in sky blue
now fading into
pink
soft shocks
to my heart
I know
I'll find that room
that state of mind
the place where my heart comes together

it's fading out
the dead moon
is rising
my ghost
is crying

a beautiful sunset
is only beautiful
when you're
feeling blue

Cloudy skies
with thunderstorms

You turn off all the lights
Leave me in the dark
I've found my way

Why don't you disappear
Why don't you speak

Turn on the lights
Scare me
I'm traumatized

You will never

Never ever

Ever

Never

Love me

If you want things so simple
send me the pin number
I'll keep our talks
to the minimum

Carmen
She's never felt loving

I try and hold her hand
from far away

Her gaze
looks through the high walls
I've been caught
she can see everything

She's a flash of lightning
the sound of a sudden storm

Keeps a straight face
at a distance

Blue car
Blue nails
Blue heart

I try to show her the colors
I try and teach her red

She's living in shades of blue
I can't see

It's all a dream
from
looking out a window
blowing a candle
a smile
a kiss
sleep
eyes
closed
whenever she's by herself

You want to leave
let's fight
let's talk
things over

I don't want to play your games no more
I can't get any help
I'm going in circles
someone help

let's fight
talk things over
play nice
start the game
I never win

I don't want to play this game no more
can someone help

can I get any more
lonely

why don't you talk to me

are you always pretending

somebody help me

You left me to
Decay

I wonder if you ever loved me
You're insane
You're beautiful
crazy
lovely
Always lonely

Will you ever make it

You got masks
for every new person

Growing up alone
You never know

acting like a *****
Love isn't enough for you

Will you ever make it
I wish you never faked it

I was
always loving you

Where did my heart go wrong  

Now I feel nothing

No more
No more

I don't want to live here anymore
killing myself slowly

I don't think I love you anymore
You're pulling me down

I believed
we were everything
you and I
were everything

believing
you loved me

stop lying
losing your faith in me

did you see me
for who I am

turning around

I don't want to be here anymore
I believed
You loved me

I'm always running away
from the liars

you lost your face
for a while

In this storm
I realize
Lightning flashes are to fast
My eyes can't ever catch the light
I felt the thunder rumble inside my chest
It wasn't raining anymore
But I could still hear it falling
We don't feel the rain too often
We don't hear the sound close
The wind is blowing in my face
Lightning lights up the room
It almost feels like
The end of the world soon

In this storm I realize
I feel so safe

all around me
is a blue house
blue room
blue reflections
of myself
everything
I needed
is for you to take
I feel so safe
knowing it's
all going to end
I know you're cold
you're the ice
never did I see your face
warm
how many times
did I imagine
that your frozen
heart
was mine
Every word
you spoke
was only to burn me down

In this storm
I need to go

// What will you say now that I'm dead \

I killed myself
I'm lifeless
no one sees me
everyone is crying
yet I don't see their frowns
walk away
hurry up

I died
only to save me

I'm dead
I killed myself
where's all the love
I assumed they loved me

no one feels sorry
no one sees my bare body

my vacant eyes
drained of life

now I feel betrayed

six feet under

This is my world
right here
right now
don't tell me the lies they tell
I'm not afraid
of living
a silent death
feels like I'm living in a world
filled with hypocrites
everywhere I go
opening the windows
don't take my heart
don't throw it away
I got one foot in the past
no dreams for tomorrow
sleeping into oblivion
let me see you again
let me see past my mind
time flies
only to return
to the beginning

rain
sleeping in memories of rain
trying to remember how I felt
now I'm confused
stuck in a daze
wake me up
when a time machine exists
I want to talk about
everything we lost
the morning after
I wish I could hear
you laugh one last time
If only you could look
at me the same way you did back then
now I'm crying
I'm dying
I'll **** myself
for you to love me

Miss you

want to kiss you
maybe a hug or two

hear music with you
eat frozen yogurt together

take pictures
so I can cry
months later

I've lost it all
I'm nothing
nothing at all


And you?

how are you

I see nothing

I have everything I've ever wanted

I still feeling nothing

Am I
avoiding you
I don't know where you are
now I'm lost
in lost beliefs
It's hurting me too
are you trying to reach me
too far away
wandering
searching for someone
the same
It doesn't feel okay
read about an order
feels so wrong
I'm avoiding you
I don't know what to say
I always disappoint
draw the line
I'm no better alone
waiting for you to hold my hand
when I fall asleep

where's your pain
where do you keep it hidden

white pages
burned down to brown

Do you feel down

Your perfect life
I'm envious
of what you have

red lights
keep us down

I'm still with you
even now

where we don't speak
it's been more than a few weeks

when it hurts me
does it hurt you

does it ever hurt you

keep me in the cold

does it ever cross your mind

when it's quiet

when there's no one home
does it ever cross your mind

how I feel
what time I sleep

the old days
where I always followed

does it ever cross your mind

us driving into the horizon
the sunset
rising laughter up our necks

whenever you drive around town

does it ever cross your mind

how life changed so fast

do I ever cross your mind

whenever you shut your eyes

bleeding into the day
whispering to the sky
hug me to sleep

let me be my own
let me embrace myself
I want to shine like a rainbow
teardrops only make me grow
flowers bloom inside my veins

I want to find my home
discover the untold secrets
that this city holds

running
in the rain
in this heat
I want to go
somewhere no one knows

I'm empty
no love

I think I love you

I don't where I'm going

all I hear is your voice singing me to sleep
I hope you never leave my head

I saved a spot for you in my heart

waiting for it be complete

nowadays
I see no life

I'm learning about the world
I'm not learning anything about myself

each day
I **** myself a little more

waiting for an epiphany

I have no home
I don't know where to go

anybody
anybody
is anyone awake

does anyone see real life

why is everyone trying to act like someone else

we lay our masks
beside us
as we sleep

the young
are dying

the fakes
have a crowd

I got a casket
my coffin
ready for the end

I don't want your money
I want your good morning
and goodnight

please don't forget me
the memories
are fading

give me your worst
give me your best

give me a little love from you

I want your rain
your everything

a little love from you

give me your fire
your sorrow

the memories
aren't new

the days I spent my life with you

I'll always remember that good side of you

Truth is
I feel so heavy
Lost
Depressed
The feeling
Won't leave
Inside my head
I'm going in circles

Truth is
I'm depressed
And
I don't know what to do anymore

I can't calculate your next response

You're boring me to death

never surprised to see me
well it seems you never see me at all

trying to give you my heart
not my soul

I know how to speak
I can't read love

I only know how to write it

flowers in a crystal vase

I'm filling up empty holes

I'm throwing away all of my secrets

he says
don't ask me for favors

It's impossible to ever tell him

I don't want to be honest

I don't know how to be

I'm tired of living traumatized
of it all

I'm trying to give you
my heart

waiting for your response

this is my trauma I'm
so tired of the constant lies
feeling deprived of life

surrounded
by hypocrites
I slowly became poisoned

oh god
please let me go away
far far away

I don't like this place
these people

they stare at me
they want something

they talk to me
they want to drown me

there's no light

crimson frights

let me go away

everyone lies
everyone lies

when you become the liar
suddenly
everyone hates you

burning letters
They're all the same

Pretty darling
lips and face

asking for someone
who carries cigarettes

that's never enough

behind my back
I can smell the rush
of smoke

I made promises
that became silent tears

darling
your room
smells full of drugs

what's on your mind
are you clean
overlooked
you have a cloudy brain

I've made promises
I never give you anything

bitter love
I recognize the sorrow raining in your eyes
into your mouth
out your nose

You misunderstand me
my heart is iridescent

I want to lay in a field of flowers
Of all kinds

let the thorns
sink into my skin

I'm lost at sea
I can't find the right direction
to find the land

I never feel like I'm home
even when I'm laying on my own bed

just want to hear
of how it was
when we were younger

tell me
how I didn't mind

tell me how
it was
when we were younger

how we never cried

never looked up to the sky

It was one morning

when the light
suddenly disappeared

I begin to notice
feel my worries

that the sun isn't so high in the sky
anymore

then it came as a thought
I never would've thought
it like this

how
when we were younger
we played around
and never went to sleep so early

You mistake me

I'm not the same girl
I have a grey mind
a vortex in my head

My heart is overflowing

bleeding into the leaves;
grass

I just want to chase after
the days
when we were younger

There are days
I want to kiss the wind

kiss kiss

I'm insane
you love me the same way
I use to love myself
back in the old days

I see your shadow
coming inside my room

I love you too

I love you too
even if all I do
is smell
smoke inside my room
because of you

I want to kiss the wind

marry a rose
live inside a red vase

You're beautiful
I'm insane

I love you too

I put my pain inside a bottle
Drink it up
another swallow

I'm night
You're day

Stuck sharing the same day

Wishful sleep

Sleep away the sleepiness
sleep away the heartache

I felt that this love could be permanent

Waste of space
Worthless bones

A little to curious of the afterlife

I wouldn't want to come back

Lovely dream

Weird feelings

I never saw you face to face
I've only met you in my dreams

I saw your face so clearly

Freckles
a soft red blush
across your cheeks

I thought
you were real

So I reached foward

\

It's 6 AM
My alarm is ringing

/

I can't wait to see you again

soon

One thousand eyes searching in the sky

Is there a drop of rain

On the other side
there's a hurricane

we hate the sun
we hate a storm

Beneath the creek
lay my lost bones


I'm floating around

I need to sleep for a while
wake me up in three years

Follow me
follow me

I'll show you my dreams

I write
and say I can't feel

I write
when I'm empty
swimming in space

Follow me inside
the black hole
in my head


Feel the pressure within

I'm dying
to find out

Where this life goes

I even predicted my own death
for tomorrow

Hey
Have you forgotten about me

// so soon

No
I won't let that happen

I'm never going to leave

When you don't want to hear from me

I'll be there
to
say something


Forget I exist
I'll see you next spring

the flowers bloom
in my presence

The trees are finally breathing

You can't forget me

I am the sun you wake up to
and the moon that disppears
when you want it to

Dear friend,
I'm startled
I told you that I would send you one of my poems
I'm nervous
what if you look to into it

I'm hiding away
I hate to say this
but
I

never stay for long

Never imagined
You would leave

Without a goodbye

I'm driving through the night

Talk to me
I know you wanted me to stay

What happened
to all the flowers I wanted to press

Where did you disappear

You've been distsnt,
drifting


We don't talk

I miss your messages
our afternoon conversations

If you ever come back

I'll wait

For you to come back

Can we be friends
Can't we just talk

So many clouds
no rain at all

I haven't seen the sun in days

My heart feels like plastic
I hate summer
I don't want it to end

She's angry
She's still talking happy

Asking about your plants
yes their still alive
I look over them
time to time

I hear the rain
miles away

I carry the wind
whispering inside

Run away
I'm not going to fight

Can we be friends

terrified
Of
opening my heart to you

Something might go wrong

It always does

trying to get closer to you

I'm waiting for the rain

I see the clouds

Not one
single drop
has fallen

In my dream world

I would express my feelings to those close to me

My friendships wouldn't end so quickly

I wouldn't be so shy and talk to people I admire

I could climb the ladder to my roof
without being afraid

My writing isn't messy

I have green colored eyes

I'm the one who everyone loves

In my dream world
I live in the dirt with the trees and grass

I asked him
What's in your dream world

/ / /\ / /

I hope he says
Me

when you became it all for me
I never took a glance back
what was I missing

keep your thoughts on me
there isn't anyone else

you've forgotten
everything I made you feel

crying out for help
the sun is half

I love you so much
I can't look at anyone the same

I'm sober
dreaming the pain away

half of the sun is up
the other half is yours

I just want you to ask for me
come back and see me

I love you
I'll never forget

trying to let the feelings fall away

I never looked back
never blinked an eye

now I'm regretting
our last goodbye

I love someone
who doesn't love me the same way

It's 23:11
I know we all feel lonely
And depressed

I've never asked anyone to hold me
I let the stress drown inside me

It's almost midnight
I know we don't feel right

I write for me

I'll show you
the worst of me

Give me the best of you


It's 23:12

No more wishes
no more empty dreams

There's a hole in my heart
I have to fill

We're all lonely

It's never a loving feeling

It's six in the morning
I've woken up

You were in my dreams
I should go back to sleep

Try to chase the dream back
inside my head

I don't want to think of you
subconciously

I don't want to think
You'll be with me

I can't hold onto a dream
forever

The sun is slowly rising
let me sleep

// dream of you
one last time

The old days
where I hated everyone
now all I hate is myself

The old days
where I wanted to jump out the window

Is
now me closing them to keep myself inside

My mind is over flowing
with secrets and lies

years ago
I felt this heavy feeling

Is it back

I don't hate anyone
I don't love myself enough

I find reasons to stay
hold onto them
with a grip so tight
I'm left with bruises

It's still better
than not waking up
to another morning

I love a boy who doesn't love me back

I have a friend
Who I never talk to anymore

I went to sleep dreaming
he would see me the way I see him

I never respond to my
Friends messages

It started with wanting to know his name

Wanted to be his friend

I wanted him to talk to me
and ask me things
I would only tell him

My friend
she waits for me
I have forgotten
She was my everything

Before him
before a rose

I feel like a pressed flower
inside a book

One he'll forget about

I thought I felt the rain

was I imagining
the feeling
of my shoulder
my cheek
raindrops
caressing my body

sometimes I lose myself in
past memories
I forget reality

sometimes I stay paralyzed
for a while

I thought
a thought
you thought

nevermind

I can't feel it
I'm so selfish
I'll never feel it

another morning comes

do I have to wake up

will it rain
can I imagine it

the lost feeling