Why must the people around me
view me with no depth
I feel hollow
a two-dimensional being
living in the wrong plane
I feel no gravity
my face has no expression
my words have no meaning

Why must people
disregard
my feelings
my life

Am I real?
I wonder
if I am a piece of paper

I stand inside
indefinite grounds

I live in a black and white
world

my color stripped away

leaving me
in a realm
of all year long
winter reign

perhaps I treat my beloved poems unfairly
I leave them outside in the cold
put them to bed frozen
I shut them out
when they wish to speak
and pressure them to
when they sleep
I've become selfish
and torture
poetry
I use to dance around them
keeping us warm
my bitter heart
doesn't mind
I can hear
countless poems
cursing my name
shouting in vain
drowning
in a bathtub
mixed
with lost words
and myriad mistakes

If my hands are cold
do I have a heart of gold

lonely
I believe
I've turned into a glowing star
people love me from afar

hideaway my skin
and bones
I'll put my face away too

plant some flowers
on my neck
watch them die
and make more again

Water me down
watch me grow
and blossom

Tear off my petals
pick at the thorns

Caress my leaves
trace the craved lines
into my skin

build me up strong
tear me back down
I was pulled from the ground
only loved for my beauty and liveliness

When I begin to wither
when I begin to wilt
my roots are rotting
I'm yellow with death
pull me apart from the weeds

I dream of pretty bones
and comfy coffins

I rest in peace unloved
killed by roses

there is no perfect family
but I still want one

my phone broke again
the shattered screen
tickles the pads of my fingers
my phone is broken
what am I without
the internet
without the unknown
muted voices
it's my mistake
can I buy a new one?
what am I
without validation
without
their artificial love
please give me your heart
my phone is broken
reflecting
my state of mind
can I turn it off now?

drinking
water
tea
milk
liquor

lips dry
fingernails
bad conditions
skin is rotting

where do I find such desire
to take care of myself

to love me

skin
on fire

I can't listen
I can hear nothing

windows rattling

I'm afraid one speck of skin
torn off
will tear me apart

tomorrow I will sit in silence
I don't believe them

All he ever wanted was a little love
and corruption

I'm sorry I didn't say thank you

Those weren't my intentions

I almost killed somebody

Don't you mind

I'm having a heart attack

8 AM

I've arrived

Heaven's gates
are closed
my soul is trapped

Eternal flames
cover my body
I'll burn alive

I'm gonna miss somebody

No one minds

I want my death
to shake the world

I want my death
to be known

Because
I am a nobody

I have no face
I have no body

I'm so transparent
You can't see me

So please love me
Treat my ghost well

new year
new face
I've got no plans
I've spent all
my hope
on lost family and friends

how I'd love to swim
inside a river again

look up to the sky
only to be blinded
by the pale clouds

I'm a walking overdose
sometimes you just want a slice of skin
that's what he tells me
cutting up his wrists

how I'd love to be in my bed again
with my heavy teddy bear timothy

ask me anything
I should know

I'm clean
I'm clean
a little mean
I don't answer to anyone
I'm scared they'll see

sleepless nights
asleep
I'm dreaming wide awake
the light is coming in

I'm not who I'm supposed to be
I'm not someone you should believe in
I'm not who I want to be
I'm not someone you should trust

years of wishing death

I've seen the end

I don't fear death
death fears me

the less I know
here comes the worst

the less they know
the better

my mind grows weak

I think all I've ever wanted
was more life

he's got me dancing
he's got my head

prince of darkness
caress me to sleep

eternal warmth
in his cold arms

I just came back from a time loop
I was right beside you
You were drinking black coffee
You couldn't stop talking

Your first mistake was the frown on your face
the time and date were out of place
secondly
my mind was in outer space

I see a demon
dressed as a little girl

why don't you show me
what's diabolic love

I've got red roses to burn
I've got yellow roses to hold

I live in a time loop
the feelings I lived with
years ago
have resurfaced

trying to be
what I'm supposed to be

all these feelings in my chest
make me disappear
into the darkness

If only I could cut my face smaller
shut my lips
and close my eyes forever

I broke a rule
broke two

I'm a mismatch

I broke the rules
only to tell people not to

I wish I could pull off my ears
grow longer legs

If only I could see myself
the way she did

Now we rest
miles away

I can't remember the feeling of your love

I left because I was tired of living with ghosts

You and I
no longer met each others eyes

Your voice didn't reach my heart
When you couldn't hear mine

I'm living in the American dream

Swimming pools
at 7 degrees

Moments fall around me like snow

When I die
I will see all the snowflakes melt

stop saying thank you
there's nothing to thank me for