You ask me if I’m thankful for anything
I truly don’t know what you mean by thankful but I do appreciate Some of life’s privileges
I’m thankful for having a forgiving mother no matter what I did
She always welcomes  me with open arms
I’m thankful for the good times because sometimes bad times make you forget that good times exist
I’m thankful for the loving friends I have and love
because there are people without anyone to call family let alone a few friends

I’m thankful for the little wisdom that I do have because without it I could’ve lost all of my sanity by now
I’m thankful for this poem being over because I have to much to be thankful for

I'm Patient, because I love u
I'm kind, because I love u
I don't envy, because I love u
I don't boast, because I love u
I don't have pride over lovin you because I love u
Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
What do I do? I LOVE U

Being over 18 doesn't make you 'grown' it's just a number your time on earth
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Having a job doesn't make you 'Grown' it just makes you overly busy
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Being graduated from high school or college doesn't make you 'Grown' it just makes you irrelevantly accomplished
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Having a 'man' or Husband doesn't make you 'Grown' it just makes you loveable
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Not being a ****** doesn't make you 'Grown' it just makes you experienced in being gross and nasty
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Being pregnant and not keeping track of the 'BabyDaddy's'
Definitely doesn't make you 'Grown' it just means you a THOT
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Having Children and keeping them and yourself alive (which you haven't done) doesn't make you 'Grown' it just means you weren't prepared with birth control or condoms
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Being tough and threatening a 'child' as you call me doesn't make you 'Grown' it just means you're stupid and talk to much how about action and if not SHUT Up
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Using four letter words in aggression doesn't make 'Grown' it just makes all that bragging you did about graduating seen unimportant and pointless
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
None of the crap you do or are doing doesn't make you 'Grown' at all
Even bringing up the lie that you are 'Grown' makes you immature and not good at arguments or come-backs
So I'm not 'Grown' but neither are you
Oh wait I'm not doing any of that so I bet I'm more 'Grown' than you never been

I saw my mom...Told her I love her I love her a lot
I gave her a doll with red hair to remind her of me told her to read my poems...Mom if you're reading this I love you no matter Our differences....I'm a make something of myself and make you proud...By the way happy mother's day

I was never mad.... never sad....til I look back.....and I see my life....now I feel proud that I'm not dead.....but curious of long I'm gonna hold on.... I Live for me, My dead brother, My unappreciated Mother, My desire for heaven....I would say I'm fine but I wonder....if I was the people that make me feel.... Confused..... would I care about Serenity......Maybe I wouldn't.....I know those that care will worry but trust me I'm strong..... because I'm still here.....the counselor's....The constant Therapy Sessions.....The psych ward visits, The friends, The Teachers, The churches, The Prayers, The Bible, The Fake Smiles, The Music, The Grief Camps, The Singing, The Dancing, .., .The Common Coping Tools..... Hasn't helped, Not saying I don't appreciate those Things....But what is the secret to hope and happiness.....Love? No tried that Support? Tried that too.....I Guess I'll never Know....I will continue to fight through the pain....My Tears.... I've been through so much....That I try to hurt over it....but It doesn't hurt anymore....but it stings....but soon I won't feel I won't be able to cry I'll just sigh and laugh because I'm use to the constant quick gunshots....just because you can't see my wounds doesn't mean I'm healed.... I'm just hoping....I think......

I see what I've done was wrong so I apologise for my peace mind things happen to me so fast that my reaction runs far from what I was expecting you know the feeling I believe you don't have to worry if u ever did because I have come to notice love doesn't exist so I apologise for wasting your time and care because I see what ive done wasn't very smart I just wanted to be free to be me but now I can't me cause I don't remember who I use to be If I ever offended you in a way I didn't mean to I hope you forgive me I can't sleep can't​ eat can't think straight My deep depression will get in a way I might've seemed happy after you were gone but if that's what you thought then you were wrong I fake so I won't be the cause for anyone to worry And so I won't get hurt I've decided to never marry Ive decided if love is what I need I'll love myself Cause no one can love you like you'll love yourself I'm shutting down till further notice so that my heart will never be broken the your family that I'm sorry and that never forget everything that you guys have done for me but no matter what I'll have regrets that will keep me quiet My shine is gone My heart is Missing but I'm grateful for the time you stayed to listen if I die know that I'll never forget your love I leave saying my sorrows leave me empty and hallow My Tears fill my eyes till I wake tomorrow I sit back and watch the world fall to pieces but I'll never care because I was already broken don't blame yourself cause it was always me I'm surprised I stayed alive and didn't leave I do it for Unity til my desire to see him runs out Cause as a bother I'm not sure if he's proud I scream and cry cause I'm hurting I struggle with life cause I try to find where my pain source these are the words you'll hear me say when another man tries to love like you in the same way ' I'm sorry to tell you but you were wrong loving me always goes wrong I would tell you to ask my mom my father my brother and sister but my mom is gone and my father never cared my siblings are be dead my family is Missing I chose to be alone so mistakes wouldn't happen so move on with your life an forget about me cause the only person that can love me is only me...'

They speak to me
They hear me
They know me
They cry out my thoughts
They vibrate my feelingsThey love me
They see me
They're only there when they can be
I feel the music in me
Every note flows through my body
Every tear is played
I place my hands on those keys
And play The vibes of my soul
I feel every emotion
Those keys open me up
So I can let it all out
The keys play my life story