How can a monster be under my bed
When it’s all in my head

I was being punished
For something that wasn’t my intent
All the hard work and effort sent
It was never replenished

I’ve lost more than I gain
After all the sacrifices and i’m still in pain
I’ve felt this once
And I’m feeling it in tons

Do I fight or flight again?

I was mad at them
as I smell the spirit of alcohol,
as I cough on the smoke from their cig  
how they choose to be on their own

It was something that I never understood
Until,

I was starting to get mad at myself more than I was at them..

How is it fair?
With the life there is to bear.
All seem to well
Then suddenly all seem to fell.

It's not "a rather be" question
but wishing to not have the option
As little by little you get lost,
the bigger the radius of being anonymous.

Would it be greedy?
To want things a little bit steady.

What should you feel?
When you’re expectations wasn’t reached.
The pain consumes you
while they don’t even have a **** clue.

Is it the mind that is selfish
Or the heart that is defenseless?
Oh what a shame it is to feel like this,
All I want is to fix this mess.

If I just knew, I’d like to start anew.