I carved a heart into my skin
I just wanted to feel something, anything
other than you
but it only made my tears fall faster
and I used a razor blade to scratch out your name
a new scar to cover up all the ones you'd left.
I used to smash light bulbs,
the pieces hidden in an old shoe box
and use them to tear apart my wrist.
I've moved on to killing myself in other ways
with boys, *****, and pills
but none of that compares to hiding
blood soaked wrists.

Empty, flatline numbness, marry me! Marry me!
Oh, jester in white inhale yourself; nothing but a fool.
Do you know your fate?
Majestic brutality, do you know your fate?
Heart beats so rhythmic, it's a brand new taste.
A white noise craze, walk along the pretty phase.
Tongue tied fantasies, drop dead harmonies and the worlds upside down.
Posiden met Godzilla, it's nothing you said it was.
Kitty cat, baseball bat ate your face, jester start again.
Ghoul, ghoul, ghoul dressed in white, take my veins, weave a gown.
We will dance, tonight, dance so pretty in the light.
Tell me, ever painted beauty in blood?
Oh, wicked numbness, Marry me! Marry me!

I used to crave your lips,

I used to live to kiss them sweetly.

Now I

want to bite them off of your face.

I want to watch you bleed

on the outside,

like I did on the inside.

The ice inside me
is never thawed by the heat
in between my thighs

don't cut yourself
why would you?
because the pain is too much
because you hurt inside
the anger and sadness is writhing in you
creating an almost apathetic desire to feel
anything
don't cut yourself
type the words out
type the things that are racing inside you
try to find the perfect words
try really hard
to make your meaning clear
try to explain the heaving hurt inside you
the stones in your stomach
the throbbing in your scarred wrist
try to explain these things
the best you can
on paper
and use ink
instead of blood
to express your pain

We smoked a cigarette in the snow
As little flakes swept in with the wind flow
And clung to your hair
It was pretty, the way your eyes
Contrasted with the white sky
I could get lost in them

I looked at you and let out a sigh
As I embraced my faded high
And anticipated your departure
It was uncanny, the way your smile
Made me feel so comfortable
I am strangely into you

Maybe the stars will align
Into perfect patterns with time
And things will fall into place