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Mae Oct 2020
Empty beer cans punctuate our union now
They are real but their metaphor mocks me
I don’t remember when I started
Counting them full
Counting them empty
Every night
counting them has become
my obsession
Each full can a warning
Each empty can like a stone on a plumb line
Weighting my heart
Dragging it spiralling down
Every night it sinks
Plummeting until it nestles with the eggshells scattered   on   my   floors
The reality of obsessing about an obsessor.
Mae Oct 2020
I don’t need to make promises
to love you unendingly
or think of you incessantly
I don’t need to swear
that I will never leave your side
Those are things that I cannot control
They will happen regardless of my choosing
Because my soul has already chosen yours
Mae Aug 2020
I have perfected
the art of crying silently.
I lie in this bed
that I chose
and close my eyes,
tasting the salt
that cloaks my lips.
A salty reminder
of foolish promises.
Performing.
Silent.
My mind screams a thousand words, but
I will not voice them.
Except here
they are released
and for a moment
I am free.
Thank goodness for poetry.
Mae Aug 2020
How can I be left
in darkness when you taught me
to cherish the light?
Mae Jul 2020
he wrote
“Please understand...”
apologetic words blurred thereafter
swimming in a dark murkiness that I
simply could not face
he still waits for my reply
but I had no words
all skill of literate communication
left me
just a tearing of heart
a silent scream
he still waits for my reply
so do I
Mae Jul 2020
If I could talk to you now
I would tell you
I’m OK.
I would tell you
That I took the best of us,
Cherished it
And carried it forward into my life.

If I could talk to you now
I would show you
The places you knew my eyes should drink,
The music you knew I’d love to feel,
The poems you knew were in my heart.

You left me
Polished stones of opportunity, smoothed and shining
Every gift cherished, caressed and
Held in my heart
Your legacy to me.

I wish I knew
...did you achieve your dreams?
The dreams we shared endlessly in those dark hours.
...did you find that love?
The one to hold you in the darkness, like I never could.
...did you keep my stones and
cherish them too?
I hope you kept the best of me too.

Endless words drip from my eyes,
Pouring out
unrestrained now.
Ours was a hopeless love, but it left
Poetry and music and words.
Pebbles.

If I could talk to you now
I would ask you
If you are flying now?
I’m still growing my wings
But I can feel them.
When a relationship ends but that person has changed you forever.
Mae Feb 2020
Heartless
One heartless *****
I am
One
Heartless
*****
Staring at those words
Over and over
Their sharp edges cut
Heartless
Heart
Less
If I am less a heart
Why does it hurt so much?
Sticks and stones....?
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