In my head,
then it is gone,
no way for it to re spawn.
I want to recreate this life,
"edit" things out with a knife,
cut out the snakes in my veins,
but I just do it in vain,
I try to hold them in my mouth,
but everything just goes south.
The more I stab, mutilate to "edit",
I merely eliminate every bit of credit,
as I try to rectify,
I only manage to petrify.
So I must learn to walk with my head up high,
let the bumps pass on by,
like a bird soaring home,
I cannot stop,
I must roam.
When life tosses me down,
and lets the snakes slither out,
I cannot just sit and pout,
I must walk on without a doubt.

What if there was another way,
to pass on these raw feelings inside,
not to just pass away,
but to find some way to confide.
I do not want to die by my hand,
but the act I know will shock you,
but I want to continue to stand,
while getting these thoughts through.
I am to great to destroy myself,
at least that is what I always lie,
but if there was a third option,
I would take it rather than to die.
But for now these thought will lie,
ripping at my skull and ribs,
constantly filling our conversations with an ad-lib,
While wanting to break and cry.
I will lash out as the pain erupts,
I cannot control it, although there is regret,
why can I not get over it?
So I will tear myself up inside,
I will not speak, too much pride,
I will have a facade which you will see,
but it is never actually me.

**** me over,
put me in agony,
but it is okay,
because we are all family.
Accept defeat,
take the hit,
when you are with family,
you deal with this ****.
But what if you could pick and choose,
who you keep and who you lose,
well then those would be friends,
who you can pick until your heart's content,
but remember that isn't family,
that is merely people for rent.

I look back on what I have done,
what I have lost,
what I have won.
Looking into this blue ocean,
overwhelmed by my petty emotion.
I am just a figment of this vast grand planet,
yet what happens around me,
I can barely stand it.
As people pass by without a thought,
of who I was,
and what I sought.
Who am I to judge what they think,
when I forget their faces within my next blink.
I think of my intelligence and how it is higher,
and how everyone surrounding me is nothing but a liar.
While I fill my mind with these pompous emotions,
I do the same as them and go through life's motions.
So what about me makes me better than them?
Is it my distinguished goals,
and their lacking of souls.
Or is it the fact that I am so cynical,
that I feel I am above as if a the pinnacle.
Either way I continue to say,
how everyone is lazy,
and I should always get my way.
And with these thoughts of self-righteousness,
I take away all likeness,
of someone with politeness.
Pushing those away has become a hobby of mine,
and one can only hope,
that alone I will pass the test of time.

Well aren't you just a big tough guy,
no need for help,
letting everything go by.
You think you are like a lone wolf,
going at it alone,
not expecting a bone.
Well what if I told you that even wolves have packs,
relying on others,
having someone watch their backs.
What if I told you that it is alright to have someone,
to not always run,
to not need that gun.
What if I told you that you do not have to be alone,
that there is a person,
for everyone.
Well raise your head,
from the dead,
you can make out alive.
You just need to strive,
go ahead and take that dive.
Be like the bird stepping out of its nest,
you will not be a pest,
just do your best.
Even if you fail,
fall to the ground and break a bone,
just remember,
you will never be alone.

You died,
took your life,
couldn't handle,
all the strife.
You are not weak,
but it seems,
you hit a peak.
You left your family,
you left your friends,
leaving them,
to what ends?
Now they lay,
alone at home,
while you lay,
in your tomb.
What did you think,
when you drank that bottle,
did you know you would sink,
sinking at full throttle.
What did you think,
when you tied that noose,
what did you deduce,
by causing that abuse?
And now that you are gone,
you do not see what you have caused,
you were not strong,
to at least have paused.
Think of more than yourself,
you are not just another, on a shelf.
But now you are no longer here,
and it is slowly becoming more clear,
you wiped yourself out, with growing fear.
Think of your life,
think of the strife,
think of,
your future wife.
Because once you are gone,
so are they,
you will not be the one,
who has to pay.

Your opinion is not fact,
I know, I know, how could I act,
with such little tact.
To tell you that what you believe,
is not true, only trying to deceive.
But when you look beyond the truth,
using facts you have had since youth,
you are bound to create an emotional bond,
which you will use to respond.
But use the numbers in front of your eyes,
the statistics will not tell you lies,
deaths are rising,
violence is increasing,
but you reject the idea of policing.
Let us be free to decide,
and you hold your morals with pride,
but not everyone is like you,
even you yourself is not so true.
People will lie and manipulate,
in order to control others' fate.
So please take a second right there,
the facts may just give you a scare,
but the truth is that they are there,
this cannot be fixed by a prayer,
so please do not leave the truth to spare.