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I wish I could tell you it gets better.
But it doesn't get better.
You get better.
Life, without direction, is open space . Open space of all taking from you.
Like a vacuum to stretched you apart until you are non-existent.

Life with light, is dark with no meaning, only from within, holds a miracle to shine one bit of beam to see the next second.

Life with love is life without validation, love is only within oneself in a dark, quiet, open space.
Random poem
I wish* to be
your *blanket


cloak you with love
in the night

to lull your racing
mind calm

for sweet dreams
to *hold you tight
i cannot count the amount of times I've said I love you, to you, it's really funny because, i do not know you, i fell for the way you probed my brain as if there was something of real worth there, i feel for a picture, i fell for pictures, my God, you are beautiful, but that does not change the fact that i spend all my time thinking about you when I'm not talking to you but i do not know you, this is a whole new different type of PCH going on here the words " baby you can be my catfish , lingering on and on and on " this heart? Is a grenade, susceptible to emotion but can easily withdraw from them too. what have i gotten myself into ? this is far from just being another case of my " fear of being alone " this is me digging myself into a hole trying to find China, what have i gotten my heart and mind into now? another broken record, obsession driven ****, i have an illness.
 Jul 2015 Carissa Blessing
Ciara
I GUESS I'M STUCK FOREVER TEXTING YOU AT 12 AM WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP, HOPING YOU'LL FIND LOVE FOR ME AGAIN SOMEWHERE IN THE BACK OF YOUR DREAMS
 Jul 2015 Carissa Blessing
Matt
I know some people grow tired
Of hearing about Jesus

And people want to live their own way

I won't sit here and tell you
That the only way to God the Father
Is through the Son

(Even though the Bible says this)

I'm not a theologian

Blessed is he, who has not yet seen
But still believes

And to anyone, Christian or not
I pat you on your back

If you show love
To your fellow human being
If you are considerate
And care for others

If you love your neighbor as yourself
If you forgive others

We all have our own beliefs
But I think all of humanity
Christians, buddhists, etc

Can agree that we should
Love one another
And I wish poetry could cure my insomnia but it does not.
So I will drink sleepy time tea enough that I shouldn't have drank it all
And I wish my friends would care about me more but they don't
So I'll sit here writing wondering why I'm this person I am
Wondering if I'll ever like who I am and how I wish the stars could talk to me.
So sitting here alone in the dark on my roof wouldn't ever be so lonely
And how I wish I meant something to someone
I mostly wish I meant something to me.
I am*    what iam.
I will make no apologies for that
**Take me as you find me
 Jul 2015 Carissa Blessing
skyyy
I like to take knives to my stomach
And slice down
Where you touched me
To cut
You out
But it doesn't work.
I like to take pins to my eyes
Because I don't want to
See us anymore
But I just bleed a lot.
I like to put bullets
through my tongue
On the spot you made me taste you
But it doesn't work
I like to put knives in your stomach
Because I like the way you cry
I like to put pins in your eyes
Because you don't see me
When I put a bullet through your
Tongue

— The End —