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I keep chasing lightning
Trying to catch it, lock it in a bottle
but when I do the bottle cracks
and I’m left empty-handed

Maybe I just don’t have what it takes
Maybe it’s not meant to be
Maybe I don’t know what I really want
Maybe I should let the passion wash away

I keep trying to start over with you
You say I need independency
The decisions should be mine
You say, “Maybe you need love too”
And I realize I don’t think I could take it if you walk away
But there ain’t nothing to do
And I should let it go

I keep trying to start over with me
Maybe I should listen
Get some medicine
Make it pink, I’ll swallow it
But would I be me?
And would you still love me?
And will the sadness go away, or will I just be numb to it?

Lightning brings thunder
Lightning brings grey storms
Why can’t you love me like lightning?
Because I keep losing track of you
And I, I don’t want to listen
Because I keep losing touch with you
And you, you don’t want to listen

I keep chasing lightning
Trying to catch it, lock it in a bottle
but when I do the bottle cracks
and I’m left empty-handed
Mrs Robota Sep 22
Ever get a compliment and instead of feeling good about yourself you feel like absolute ****?
They get twisted in my head. I feel so much more self-conscious and somehow all my flaws are magnified. I feel so uncomfortable. Ugh!

I wonder if everyone around me can tell what I'm thinking? How I just want to punish myself. How I want to crawl under a rock and disappear.
I hate compliments
Mrs Robota Sep 20
How are you?
I don't know...
                                                     Are you okay?

I don't know...
                             please, i'm worried
                             say something?

i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go
if you need to leave
i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go

I don’t feel like myself
                    
            Who do you feel like?
I keep letting you down                        
           You know best
I never wanted to let you down
                                                 what you understand
                                                 what you don't.
                                                          ­                  You have to choose
                                                 what you want to do about it.

I don’t know......

                                           Leave anxiety aside
                                 what do you want to do with your life?


i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go
if you need to leave
i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go

                                          i think you hate yourself
                         i understand, i hate myself too
                                   but you have to stop hating yourself. 
                           you spend so much energy on it it's absurd

I'm worried that you'd take such ******* seriously and get hurt…


Why?

self pity and self hatred are pointless.

I got a thirst I can't quench

                                  No matter how much I swallow

I got a thirst I can't satisfy

Please don't leave me
Please don't go
Please don't leave me
Mrs Robota Sep 8
I bought black glasses
I only see the world through black and white lenses
Photography, little black dress, dangerous
They made me happy
They said they didn't suit my face
I felt....****

I bought pink glasses
I only see the world through pink lenses
La Vie En Rose
They made me happy
They said they didn't suit my face
I felt....****

I bought red glasses
I only see the world through red lenses
Classic, romantic, powerful
They made me happy
They said they didn't suit my face
Maybe I'm just...****?

I don't know anymore
I felt anxious this time....
I bought a pair of bright pink glasses....I was panicking...I regret my decision.... and a pair of red...I was panicking....oh god!
No matter what I do I'm ****....so it's okay....I hope no one says anything....I don't want to be reminded that I'm ****....


I only see the world through black and white lenses
Photography, little black dress, dangerous....
I only see the world through pink lenses
La Vie En Rose....
I only see the world through red lenses
Classic, romantic, powerful

I only see ****
I only see ****
I hate my glasses
I'm ****
They don't make me happy
****
It's ok. It doesn't matter. I'll get another pair in 2 years.
I'm **** now... nothing will change...
Maybe I'll be beautiful by then...
I'll just buy something plain....stupid me why did I buy pink and red glasses!
Mrs Robota Sep 4
Step 1: Find yourself a target for your affection
Step 2: Casually go up to them and start a conversation
Step 3: Offer them food and drink
Step 4: You are now in a relationship
Is this how you do it?
Mrs Robota May 4
i
it's been raining
like waves crashing on the sidewalk
i've been avoiding the puddles
waiting on the dawn of something i can hold
to come along and make me feel alive
again?

but the days never come easy
the morning rush only brings silence
the loneliness drags on
i've been wondering if the strangers on the bus
feel the same way
i do
are they breathing?

sleep won't come
affectionate offerings mean nothing
it could get better
but all it is
is getting worse
and all i to know
is i want to know
what it feels like
to feel hurt again
because all i feel
is nothing

so if this happens to be a rare situation
a bad dream where i'm running
a sweet dream where i cut
off everything i hate
about myself
maybe it'll turn out alright
and i'll find the feeling
to feel alive
again

i've been fighting a long time
i can't save him now
i've been fighting a long time
she can't save me now
i've been fighting a long time
i can't save me now
I might come back to rewrite it because I'm not 100% happy with it, but I think for now it's okay
Mrs Robota Mar 19
There is a hallway;
a red door;
a doorway
I cannot pass

something has changed
she is dead


There are ravens
at early dawn
singing in the fog
a lullaby for me

something has changed
she is dead


There is a cold
that turned my soul to stone
left me in ruins

something has changed
she is dead


There are sleeping sheep
before the wolf feasts
and there is no going back

'cause something in me has changed
the girl you knew is dead


There is a hallway;
a red door;
a doorway
I'm walking through
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