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 Jun 2020 Mr Poet
I’m tired
 Jun 2020 Mr Poet
The sore muscles of my back
Crack with pain as I hit the glass
I’m caught in a fight till the end of time
With no other than my own mind
 May 2020 Mr Poet
 May 2020 Mr Poet
the star knows
all my secrets.

the sun sees
all my sorrows.

the moon hears
all my miseries.

the night holds
my very soul.
if you wish to know about me;
 May 2020 Mr Poet
I endued with divinity your every trait
Since the very first day I happened to sit in that chair
In your doctor's office with those curtains ominously drawn
I was admiring your face placid like a doll
No less then your velvety voice - calm, measured
I kept in memory what took so little for too long as treasure

As soon as i got home i was consumed
I inserted dreams of you into my daily ritual
My appetite and sleep was shredded
I only prayed on you via your social media

I stumbled once upon you in her company
She didn't look like someone tantalizing
And that served as a crucial impetus
I felt imediately narcisstically amazing

When almost on a brink of losing sanity
Sticking around the whole day in your vicinity
I gamely took on a blueprint despite a lack of clarity
If i can claim on you due to my superiority

Not by a lucky chance but by my piercing efforts
( because when i want bad i get what i want)
I ultimately defeated your borders
I ultimately captured that stronghold

Since then another chapter followed
But happiness woudn't last for long...

I had to bear in mind it's not a lady's job
to chase a guy and be overinvolved
I was naive to hope
I'd win a gentelman but not a snob

To the day I never forgot
how you treated me like dirt
Right in the middle of rolling up my T-shirt
Casually telling stories of other girls
With a blatant look into my eyes and mocking smirk
and put on that tone, you aimed to sound innocent
I always could say when your words were being ambiguous
when i resented you immediately knew the cause
But you've never said a word in your self-defence
Other than repeatedly "dont take offense"

The first part was great expectations for too tiny you
I'm overwhelmed now with repulsion toward you
You only capable of twirling your hose
Just like orangutans do in their cells in zoos
And me? i'll keep on nurturing my human decency
the one you poor thing never had in you
 May 2020 Mr Poet
 May 2020 Mr Poet
at the age of eleven
my very own grandmother
compared me to my sister
she told me
i was too fat
i was too loud
i was too talkative

i spent the past eleven years
making sure to
starve myself
always be quiet
to never speak my mind

i starved myself til
every single bone was visible
i shut my mouth
through every moment
of physical and emotional abuse
i agreed to everything everyone
picked out for me
never speaking up for myself

am i enough yet grandma?
 May 2020 Mr Poet
some days
i miss the psych ward
being away
from society
left with only
my demons

not being able
to be hurt by
anyone there

i wish
i could find
that comfortability
out in the real world
instead of hiding away
in these locked away rooms
i don't wanna leave
 May 2020 Mr Poet
 May 2020 Mr Poet
i sit on the beach
as the rain comes down
from the sky onto my skin
for it to wash away
all this sadness
from within
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