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Sep 2016 · 354
addiction
monica Sep 2016
you picked your addiction over me
i wish you could see just what you used to be
and the effect your problem had on me

it feels like yesterday
before you broke down and left me
and found yourself in another bottle
i'm stuck here waiting for you to come up
there's just no luck

i'll wait
Sep 2016 · 448
drunk
monica Sep 2016
i get home and end up on the floor
the same story as the night before

you think you have me figured out
you want to leave and i kind of want you to
i can deal without the judgement

i don't have a problem
i just want to finish this drink
i can stop
by why would i want to?

*if you want to leave, then leave
Sep 2016 · 1.4k
xxxxx
monica Sep 2016
you might not miss me
i miss my nails in your back
screaming out your name
Sep 2016 · 308
5/7/5
monica Sep 2016
My feelings were never true
Just in love with the idea
I just wasted your time
Sep 2016 · 668
Repetition
monica Sep 2016
I always think it's over, until drunken nights when I beg to come over
You can smell the ***** on my breath
I sense the disappointment judging by the look on your face
I know how badly you crave the taste
You're sober
I know I'm going nowhere
*But I always end up back in your bed
Sep 2016 · 321
bad
monica Sep 2016
bad
your eyes look like death
your hair is a mess
your touch feels desperate
Sep 2016 · 281
Nothing
monica Sep 2016
Spill out lies about how much you hate me, but just last month you were spilling your guts about how much you loved me
You're a coward, and everyone will soon squirm once they can come to terms with your true identity

Your face is fading from my brain
You're a worthless memory

I don't miss the  sound of your voice
and I certainly don't miss the sound of your teeth grinding in your sleep

I used to spend hours awake thinking you were the reason I wanted to breathe
But now you're the very reason I want to stop breathing

You're nothing to me
Sep 2016 · 332
Crazy
monica Sep 2016
Maybe there’s a lot more wrong with me than I can see
Can someone please tell me what’s wrong with me
It’s getting harder to breathe
It’s getting harder to see
It’s getting harder to understand the world around me
Sep 2016 · 224
17
monica Sep 2016
17
My heart hasn't been okay since May, and you broke it again in August
To you, I was a joke and you couldn't wait to make me choke on every meaningless word you spoke, and every fake smile you shot in my direction
I'm trapped watching you and your new love
She could have been me, and we could have been happy
If I just ******* let you in
Maybe we could actually be more than the boundary I put up to keep you away
It may have not been love, and I know it wasn't enough
I just want you to know you're still imprinted in my head like the tattoo on your chest
more of a rant
Sep 2016 · 285
Stuck
monica Sep 2016
I wake up early in the morning, but don’t bother leaving my bed
The mess inside my head effects my legs
It feels like I’m tied to the bed, but I don’t mind
It’s almost time to go to bed again
And I’m ready for bed
Because it’s not like I left it today anyways
Sep 2016 · 473
Untitled
monica Sep 2016
Letting people in is something I’ve always struggled with
I've tried to overcome
Too stubborn to let someone help me

Your face is the rain, and your voice is turning to hail

I will soon push you away and try to stray far
*I won’t answer my phone, but I'm still hoping you’ll call
Sep 2016 · 1.1k
Succubus
monica Sep 2016
I got into your head, dragged you to my bed
I should feel bad, but this is all I have
This wasn’t love for me
If only you could see
You are only good for one thing
Sep 2016 · 446
Lost
monica Sep 2016
Do you ever miss me?
Because I always miss you
I'm starting to question everything
I don't know what to do

I can't let anyone in
It feels like I'm letting you win

You don't want me to be happy with someone else
You want me to be miserable by myself

— The End —