Mr Uku Apr 3
Rain soaked
Still the birds sing their
spring welcome
Look out! It's my first proper haiku. I got a lovely new book all about writing them and learned that everything I knew (including the 5-7-5 structure) is wrong.
I hope you likes it.
Mr Uku Mar 4
Wind blows
It snows
My nose
It goes
All froze
As doze
My toes
Oh noes!
I wrote this poem on account of how cold I am.
Mr Uku Feb 17
The pangolin's a scaly chap
His armour's made of keratin
If you attacked him with a sword
You really could not get it in
Written for World Pangolin Day.
Please do not attack pangolins with swords. They are very nice and deserve to be allowed to go about their business unmolested. Thank you
Mr Uku Feb 17
My friend Sue
Did a great big poo
In the middle of the street
Cos she couldn’t find a loo

Now she’s locked in jail
Where she poos in a pail
So please learn a lesson
From this very sad tale
The lesson is, don't poo in the street.
Some people have been trying to find the metaphor in this poem. There isn't one. I don't understand them. It's just about poo.
Mr Uku Feb 10
He creeps into my bedroom in the dark while I’m asleep
He’s silent and he’s stealthy and he does not make a peep
Carefully he tiptoes round and sits upon my bed
Then, HUURK HUURK HURRRRRRK, drops a furball on my head

He’s the prince in the velvet coat, the king of the house
Though he doesn’t seem to do much and has never caught a mouse
He lords it over all of us from the easy chair
Cos my cat’s a wanker and he just don’t care
Ran out of steam, and got distracted, with this weeks 52 poem challenge.
Mr Uku Feb 2
D’ya wanna come to my house?
D’ya wanna come for tea?
Dya wanna play some board games
and spend some time with me?

D’ya wanna go the pictures?
D’ya wanna sit and talk?
D’ya wanna go to Maccie Ds
or go out for a walk?

D’ya wanna go the park with me?
D’ya wanna  hug the trees?
D’ya wanna go for ice-cream
and hope your brain don’t freeze?

D’ya wanna hold my hand a while?
D’ya wanna be my friend?
D’ya wanna come and be with me
and hope the day don’t end?
Written for week 4 of the 52 poem challenge.
Mr Uku Jan 12
I’ve been running about round the park like a twat
And it’s too bloody cold and I’m too bloody fat
I’ve forgotten my gloves and I ain’t got an ‘at
And the shorts that I’m in make me look like a prat

There are dogs on those leads that are too bloody long
And the people that walk them are walking them wrong
And I get tangled up with the lead and the pup
And the dog walkers laugh as I trip myself up

I gasp and I wheeze as I trundle around
Past the kids on the swings who are laughing out loud
Cos the sweat in my shorts makes it look like I’ve pissed
And my knee’s swelling up cos I’m getting a cyst

The friction is burning and hurting my thighs
And I’m not getting thinner, they’re still the same size
I finally get home and collapse on the mat
I’m not sure it’s worth it, I think I’ll stay fat
Week 2 of the 52 poem challenge brought this poem out in me.
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