How could words that felt like
lava to my inner skin
leukimia to my bones,
Septal Defects to my heart ,
have turned into blows,
after sickening blows?

How is it that I could only
mentally scream for you to shut up
stop this mental and physical abuse
but not actually saying it.

I guess I know why,
I guess I always knew why
I knew it but did you also know why
Tell me you also  know why

Well maybe that's why
I listen to all this sad songs
don't trust this thing between my chest
learned to trust this thoughts in my head.

Your words taught me
bruise me,broke me then modelled me
only to throw me,crush me then model me
Ironically you made me elite and haughty me
You would like me but I don't like me

I blame myself though
Your words were my religion
bitter cruel they made this though
I wish I wasn't talking to a corpse though

Your words were my religion
your blows were my conviction
blood,tears and pain
though I wish they never were my religion

A POEM BY MY MOTHER


Come soon see the moon
The stars are shining
They give us news a new day
Everybody happy and say

Come and see the moon
gives light, the world last
If we learn some good things,
if we know how learn means

We can do find the secret of the world
sky, earth, flowers, animals, and bird
Although are the things for us

So why we get late and lazy
let's go and find the galaxy
Please come soon and see the moon

.                               “I
                            lo­ok out
                        side the window
                      and there
                   I see the
                moon, and
            that makes
           me wonder,
            ‘why would
              such a beauty
                   always want
                     to hide a part
                       of herself, why will
                             she want to?’
                                     ”

There's more to suicide than what we think it is.
It's not just unanswered questions,
sometimes, it's unasked ones.

A Smile wavers,

Deep from a far away land,

Standing just waiting for the unknown wind,

Blew softly through my ear,

Sound of voices,

Echoes within me,

All those memories,

Olds and News,

Slowly creep within my bones,

Those moment of laughter,

Those moment of tears

Those moment of pain

Those moment of joy,

Make you think being alive is worth it

But the most is,

The moment you smile

and Said I Like You,

The moment when I hold your hand

The Inner warm that magically runs times

As it creeps fast through its clock

To hold your hair

And your lips

Pondering over you

As that beautiful smile disarm the bright stars

Even the moon stands in awe

As you tip toe,

To lock a kiss

As the sun strikes,

I Woke Up

To realize you are not with me,

To not remember whats your name is

To not remember who are you,

But deep inside you

Still wanders this feeling that unknown to you,

Willingly to accept her,

Even If the memories decided to kept itself within its cage

Somehow,

Those smile,

Those Lips

The warm of her hand and body

Make you realize,

Shes the one that was below the moon light

No of us could utter a word,

Even though we did met in a dream,

Suddenly without we even took notice,

Our Lips utter those words,

Those words that relinquish those wall between our memories

''I Love You''

smell of woods
as the breeze blew
canopies of trees
covering the forest
like an umbrella
beams of light seeping through
through the gaps it shines
like the trees are covering
what is hidden behind

He doesn't burn photographs
He doesn't join therapy sessions
He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes
Nor he drown himself into alcohol
He scratches his wounds daily
And never let them heal
He doesn't try to get rid of the pain
Instead he let it grow on him
He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears
He feeds it with the manure of old memories
He takes it to sleep with him
And nurtures it in himself
Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain
Until his fragile heart can bear no more
And his soul starts overflowing with emotions
That's when he dip his pen into this pain
And empty his heart on a piece of paper
He bares his soul for us to feel
He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come

My life is sometimes only that green
that everybody see's during the day,
and at night when you awake
with your window open wide
and perceive the fresh scent
of a brand new beginning,
with the joy it transfers to us all,
conveyed within the air we breath,
that comes only in nature we see.