if you’re ever sitting in your car and that song you said reminded you of me oh so long ago comes on, just know it’s probably 3 am and i’m probably sitting in the kitchen buzzed off of my cigarettes wondering if there’s anything bigger out there. i have galaxies inside of me and everything feels so ******* small in comparison.
i am always called beautiful, smart, and strong. yet i still always end up being alone every beating heart of every night. i usually forget i have only seen the world for 17 years. i have seen the most terrible things that have aged me beyond that. my thirst for red wine is never satisfied but you were able to get me to quit smoking for 6 months. so i guess some habits do die hard. now whenever i inhale my cigarette i can’t tell if i’m breathing you further into my lungs or exhaling you back out into the world where you belong. thats the trouble with loving a wild thing, you’re always left watching the door.
every weekend i pray that you're safe and not driving home drunk again like that night two years ago when you called me, completely plastered, telling me we didn't "understand each other anymore". I still think about that every day.