I don't regret the ring
I don't regret the promise
It showed me my truth.

My body and yours
you didnt crave it
the laughs we shared
you didnt save them
your kindest smile
ive forgotten
your softest touch
foreign to me
the first to kiss my ****** lips
the last that i will taste them
the moment, the place, the heart, my grace
in my brain i will save them

There are two types of people
The heart breakers, and the broken-hearted
I cannot be the heart breaker
It pains  my body, as fear pulses through my veins
knowing i will be broken again
You ripped the muscle from my chest
And left a scar that bleeds each time
you kiss her, touch her, think of her
don't kiss me, don't touch me, and don't think of me
It aches and aches
Why have i let you break me?
There are two types of people
heart breakers, and the heartbroken
how can you destroy me by loving her?
How can you break me and remain unshattered?
Why can i never be the breaker
Ripping the souls form others chests
Turning their advances into worthlessness
turning their love into loathing
turning their hearts to stone
like you did mine.

You're okay
Just not for me
I love your smile, and the way you speak
The only issue is that you're not for me
Your hair, your face, effortless
Maybe meant for someone else?
There's nothing wrong with you, you see
You're just not for me
Is that so bad?
Are you upset?
Don't be
Just find someone else, anything else
It's just that you're not for me

Im not sure I could say this
But you're my first love
New feelings, different feelings
Heart is beating, heart beating
Smile across my lips, you do this
Sparkle in my eye
So gently biting my lip
At the thought of you
It almost isnt fair
How can I be allowed to feel so much
When you see me not in the same light
What won't leave my mind
Is that indescribable feeling
That's how I knew you were different
I won't feel an emotion like this, I don't think
That's why it's the first love
New, intense, potent
Unrequited , quite unfortunate
My daydreams were and are of you
You, the boy with the sparkle in his eye
Head full of knowledge
And heart racing fast
Mind going wild, at thoughts of, sadly, another
In my heart remains a place for you
For this feeling I won't forget
The first intense, emotional love
Kept in the recesses of my not quite broken heart
My mind recalls the sweet, and that is what I know you as

To tell you in words how I feel towards you is nearly impossible
In the simplest of words,
My chest pounds, for me heart awakens
My eyes fall low, for my face grows soft
Its as if my girlish innocence has come alive
And I grow timid, shy, vulnerable, femme gentille
A smile forms, quite naturally
My thoughts are clouded, foggy
Drifting every which way
I can never say enough, or the right words
But all of your words are right
If only you thought these things too
If only you knew these words were to you
A sweet sort of limerence
The strongest I've known
So hard to forget you
Though I don't want to
These emotions, these awakenings
What to do with myself
All questions seeking answer
And you aren't the one to provide it
Perhaps I'll never know why you of all souls walking this Earth
But I care not, for I care for you

I can't wait
For the next moment
Where I draw my fingers across someone's skin
Where I kiss their lips, gliding them acres their soft eyes and nose and down to their neck
Until my hands feel every soft curve and muscle with a delicate touch
Until I feel your breath synchronize with mine
Until I can taste your passion with my tongue
When I feel your hands across my skin, awakening my body in ways I can't do alone
I don't know who you'll be
But I can't wait

Every now and then there's
A peak of inspiration
The moment may be fleeting
But from this time
Emotions arise, and feelings become clear
And only then am I able to tell you of
My dreams, my love, and my fears

I feel so stupid
For thinking that you'd ever
Feel something for me

I turned to you
Rest your head on my shoulder
I listened often
Saw my eyes in your eyes
Felt the tension between us
Maybe its imagined
I want this to be real
But I know its imagined
Theres no room for me
And I know I cant make it
Its a hopeless affair
And my heart just cant take it

They sing their sweet song 
You listen attentively 
They sing the same notes over again 
Why? 
Oh the birds are free, to fly where the wind goes 
But what do they really mean 
Their chirp and chatter
Possibly a cry for help 
Help me help me help me
They cry
A bird can only fly so far 
Can only do so much 
In so much time 
Their life is not magnificent 
Each day is torture 
When will they eat 
Will they become prey 
Will their bodies withstand the harsh elements 
Will their eggs survive 
See, the birds aren't so great 
What makes them different than ourselves?
The birds are like people too 
They have feelings 
The birds are miserable, so why do they live? 
That have families too, and so they're stuck. 
Sure, the caged bird sings of freedom 
But once it's attained, they're trapped 
Help me help me help me

Softly, gently
Sweet kind words that do not harm me
Please be kind
Too rough
I cannot bear it
I need the soft, the romantic
Please be kind to me
Protect me
Guard me from the abrasive unknown
Shield me from brutal reality
I cannot bear it
Please protect me
I need gentle, soothing words of kindness
Give me your gentle sweetness, naïveté
It's what I crave
And how I thrive
Not brutality, I ignore reality
Ethereal fantasies are where I reside

Give a little kiss
A little touch
Even your kind words are enough
Hear me out
Let my breathy, light words touch your soul
Lean in close, really feel me
I'd let you near
If only you wanted me

The mind of a romantic
Is blind to flaw
I create perfect images
Of imperfect individuals
This time is no different
In the end it's often not
Intellect
Kindness
Passion
Creativity
Simply something that catches ones eye
The object of affection
What I yearn to be called
Or perhaps not
For I cringe at the thought
Of making another
Feel the pain
That grips my sensitive mind
It's easy to look over a trait such as
Greed or arrogance
But superficiality
Superficiality
Never ever worth it
It may break a heart
Or cause tears to fall
But holding on to one obsessed with merely appearance
Gets one nothing at all

When i search for myself
It was found
In others
I craved attention
Like it was my antidote
Want me, need me, kiss me,
Want me, **** me, **** me
You never needed me
I found myself in others
In his blue eyes, in his green ones
In his laugh, in his smile
In his touch, in his mind
With him,
I want me, i need me,
I care for me
So that i may be whole for him
So i can find myself within myself
Not in his stunning blue eyes
Not in his art
Not in his hands
Not on his body
But within myself

Why did I think you were different?
You're no different than the others
Who gave me half-hearted words
When I give you all of mine.

I simply cannot forgive myself
For believing you were unique
I can tell you can hardly stand me
Why can't you just tell me point blank?

I strain to even speak to you
I used to enjoy my talks with you
It's apparent you want to forget me
When I didn't want to forget you

You know you hurt me badly
You know you broke my heart
So man up and just tell me
Why we should be apart

I gave you words and words of truth
That truly came from within my heart
You gave me, what, two sentences?
Now that'swhat tore me apart

I don't want an explanation
Considering you wouldn't give it
Our lack of communication
Is reality. I should just admit it.

I'm sorry I kept on trying
I'm sorry I wasted your time
I'm just deeply disappointed
My sweetness couldn't save me this time

I gave my whole heart to you
Which was obviously a mistake
Your another one for the books my 'friend'
I just hate to call you a mistake.

I don't know why I thought you were different
Its so cliche, you were never mine.
I won't waste your time any longer
Just spare me the kindness this time.

That's it I guess
You're done with me
I'm done with you two
Treat me poorly
Speak to me cruelly
Shut me out
Find some play thing to occupy your time
Have fun with her
That's all you'll have
I guess I was wrong
When I said you had good taste
You obviously don't
Or you would see something good
And beautiful and kind
And right in front of your face.
You would have seen me
You did see me
But you didn't want to
Tell me to calm down?
I'll tell you to grow up
Look at the world in its complexity, and wonder
And gifts and blessings and grow the **** up.

Take me back
To the night we met
The laziest night
I clutched my phone in my hand, staring at the address..hoping this is it
Praying for safety
I softened when I saw you, in washed out blue jeans and that scraggly hair you hadn't cut
In my mind I fast forward to your powder blue sheets

The 2 foot distance between us and the tension growing as I felt a new type of panic
Of actual, genuine, physical attraction that was reciprocated

I tried to ignore everytime you smiled at me and looked at my lips, I had to maintain my hardness

And then you uttered 'im sorry, I talk so much when I'm really nervous"

And I asked you why?

And I knew why

And then the music ceased.

you turned it on, and turned to me

You mumbled on about feeling flustered and feeling fearful of the moment where you'd lean in to kiss me

And we leaned in closer and then I just remember it so clearly.

The smiling between kisses, the way you said my giggles were sweet as you planted more kisses along my neck as I couldn't contain the pleasure that I felt from each soft kiss

Our bodies wrapped together, I was limitless and unashamed as I delicately undressed and your hands ran across my body and your lips did and I exhaled sharply as I began to notice the sensations of lips on lips and lips on skin and neck and back and chest

We did separate a few times, but you caressed my arms and rubbed my thighs and pulled me in to kiss me again ..

From hour one to hour two until 1 in the morning, we shared intimacies and laughs and sweetness and inexperience

I was free when I was most exposed and you cherished each part of me that I shared with you

You .... waited

I understand so clearly now that there was never an ulterior motive

There was never anything insidious or lustful or harmful

That this was enough for you
I was enough for you
And that I was perfect to you
"This is ok, this is perfect. I want to just do this with you"
It wasn't 'just this'

It was everything.

Not the easiest task at hand
To gaze into your eyes
Each time I look upon them
It's as if the world had stopped
Pure, clear, green perfection
Big, expressive, infallible
My breath is always taken away
When I come across your gaze
They sparkle just right when you smile
They deepen so much if there's sadness within you
If speaking of the one I cannot be
When speaking of her charm and perfection
And you look into me, directly to me
I wish yo'u were looking right through me

I wish you had touched me
Your eyes on my body
Your lips on my neck
I wish you had asked me
How I felt, what I thought
About trivial things
About love and life
I wish you had
Looked at me and felt sparks
Felt your heart leap out
Your voice shake
Your eyes fixed on mine
I wish you had liked me
Because I might have loved you
But
When you touched me it wasn't electric
Nothing more, nothing less
We didn't kiss, that would feel wrong
We talked about important things m
Life, family, love
But you didn't care to
You didn't care for me, and I didn't for you
I wish I hadn't looked at you and felt sparks,
Felt my heart leap out
My voice and hands shaking
My eyes fixed on yours
I only wanted you to see me.

I'm breathing slightly heavily
I sat anticipating....the feeling
I freeze when you look at me
Bc you're seeing me

Your gaze wanders, but it comes back
I tense up when it's back

You do see me

I swallow and hope I don't choke when you're looking into my eyes and I'm aware I'm being seen

I can't hide my nervous tics or the nauseating feeling from remembered trauma and hyper attentiveness

You don't turn me away
And I suppose that's your job

But it is more than that and I can sense it and when I do I tense again

My head is heavy and my heart is steady as I contain my laughs and smiles just a moment longer

So there isn't the acknowledgement that you're what's on my mind


I'm the queen of subtlety; of unspecified glances and daydreams and gentle flirtation

I figured myself out to a degree and I'm starting from scratch

I don't know where this feeling should go- it's too soon for my heart but my head is tired of tossing the idea around

If I think too hard I start to imagine me, still lacking confidence but at least owning myself enough to tell you I want to try this with you


I'm enamored, empassioned, and frightful

When I feel this I run and I dont look back.

And yet I stay

With the hope and dreams for a future

In it things are just....different and I can take myself to that vulnerable place and it's received and cherished and respected.

God, I want to kiss you and I know that's so boring and unoriginal and simplistic but when I think about kissing you? My brain goes warm and fuzzy and I'm reminded I do and can feel joy and lust and care and passion.

My heart is full and I can't bleed it dry again, she just can't take it

But what I can take is one more look at that beautiful face of yours and wonder to myself how things could be if I had the courage to just ask you

I want to feel it. I want to feel you opening up to me and getting closer and feeling like maybe there's a part of you that wants.... something

I feel something; it's something that's happened between now and months ago and its changing and it scares me but you're making me feel something and its worth addressing

Simply a victim
Of Cupids cruel bow
Touched by sweet emotion
Driven by a lustful desire
Your heart has been captured
By a force unseen
Your mind wanders to her, and that face you adore
The smile you revel in
Those moments you shared
Are unforgettable
This is pure emotion
Vulnerable, fragile
When it hit, you took note
Driving you slowly into
A pleasurable turmoil
Your eyes go soft at the thought of her
Mind wanders at the sight of her
Never felt another thing quite like this
When it hits for the first time
You pray it's the last time
Often heart wrenching pain
In other instances
Pure bliss
Watching this transformation
Once a boy
Now a boy deep into something he can't control
Doesn't want this to stop
Not sure how it started
The wicked sting of cupids bow
Forgotten by the sweet nectar of a newly found love
Profound
Robust
Prime
Bliss

I have them
and so do you
So why do you look at me so disgustingly?
WHy do you pry into my mind
when you know you won't like what you see?
You dont understand and you make that clear
I am so ANGRY at letting you see
the flaws within me
I am a human being , just like you
I live my life, just like you
I have my problems, just. like. you
don't play this game
my flaws are MINE, not yours
don't touch me, dont look at me
because while your words hurt like knives
my stare pierces your soul even deeper

Forever will I feel this
I can't be afraid forever
This chain that holds my mind shut
To the life I wished to live
My muscles tight like bands so taut
My head, it aches
My stomach wraught
Outside I smile
I laugh as well
The world is good
I laugh as well
Inside I cry
They'll never see
I hide from them a part of me
It's always there, it slowly lingers
I feel it from my toes to fingers
It's in my chest, it's in my hair
I breathe my anxiety in from the air
I breathe it in, I breathe it out
A- is for the air so cold
N- nagging, always nagging
X- extreme fear, always there
I- intense rushes of tears and woe
E- even my best friends don't know
T- teeth clenched in a forced smile
Y- yelling inside, for a long while
I can't **** this monster inside of me
He's always there, quickly shifting
But, I can make him shrink so small
I hardly notice him at all
Muscles loose, free to dance
Breathe in air, so fresh and crisp
Hate the world? No, not me
Love myself? Absolutely

I pray for you
She doesn't tear your heart to pieces
Tarnish your idea of a true love
You see the pleasant, blinded, close minded
Not seeing the reality, sad, unreturned
Unrequited
Not an option
Fighting till wits end
Waiting for an answer
Yay or nay
I pray she doesn't torment you
Keep you waiting when you deserve
A love that's pure and sweet
A sort of innocence
Understanding
I pray that soon you find her
And she's the answer to your love not found
Find that love
But for now
It's in the angel with gilded wings
Unaware of her powerful trance
Like a siren, you're drawn to her
Days go by, your heart grows weak
Her eyes dazzling
Perfection embodied
Euphoric , sweet nothing seem to pour heavily
From your heart that's been touched
How fondly, how highly this beauty seems
If only she knew what she's done to you
Maybe that angel would descend from her pedestal
Give you the wisdom, the truth you need
Guidance, some guidance
The angel in assumed perfection
Has not one admirer
Tis the hardship for her, unbeknownst to you
I pray that you find your own beauty
The one that understands your heart
One who listens to you
Speaks tenderly
Cares for your gentle heart
And kisses as if from heaven herself

Right knots
Filling up my stomach
Low throbs
From within my chest
Dizzy spells, drifting sideways
Feeling tense, head is pounding
When I think of her with you
This is what my body decides to do

Look at my poor heart
It's not quite broken yet
It's simply aching

Lately, I've been in a state
Of utmost lack of inspiration
The words I'd like to write don't flow
The racing heart I had wont go
My romance has run dry
I've built a lock around my heart
For now, the sign says 'do not enter'
For now, my mind says 'stay on track'
For life has much to offer
Often too much focus on those people
Who brought a smile to my face
Or a flutter in my stomach
Or a sweet swell within my chest
Or a head so full of daydreams
So many wishes will go unfulfilled
But that's the way things have to be
I can and will not force my heart
Upon another human being
And so I think, and meditate
On what I felt was right
I question all my sanity
And feel as though I wasn't bright
The past has passed, what's felt was felt
I'm living in this world unharmed
My heart was touched, and now it's not
I guard my heart, my soul is armed.

I've just fallen out of love
It only dawned on me a few short hours ago
I have come yet again to a realization
Epiphany if you will
I'm not going to be that person to give you the love you need
I can't provide you happiness
Make you smile, or your heart beat faster
It was just something I imagined
No doubt I felt everything, more than I have with any other
But alas, tears fall, for this feeling has left me
These suppressed emotions no longer exist
And this all came to me just yesterday

My eyes are big and brown
Though he does not like them
For they don't sparkle in the light the way others' do
My face is warm and sweet, comforting
But he doesn't care
For all he'd like to do is stare at her longingly
It could be those things, my lips, my smile, my hands, my touch
Whatever it be
These are the things I cannot change
The things he wouldn't change
Simply because they belong not to her, but to me
Poor, lonely, misfortune me

I bet his kisses are soft and gentle. His touch soft, and faint. The impression of his lips imprinted in my mind, where I keep those secret things. The way he smiles not just with his lips, but with his eyes. Oh those eyes how they sparkle, and I hope that they smile for me . I hope I'm doing something right here; I may have to take a risk. But, only good can come from this. Still, I'd love to feel his kiss.

We'll never be
There'd be nary a chance for you and me
I've come to a clear realization
Epiphany
You'd never want to be with me
You want the looks, the face, her eyes
I've got brains, and I'm just so 'nice'
Those were the things you said about me
Not that I'm beautiful or even pretty
'bright and nice'
Well, what does that mean?
Simply that you'll never fall for me
And I won't be in your daydreams
And despite my strong, strong feeling
It's going to total waste
No longer, when recalling you,
Is there a wide smile on my face
I'd love to think your heart would change
And feelings for me could flourish
But in this world, I'm so aware
Your heart remains with her, and I'm just foolish.

Intrigue
Mystery
You've peaked my interest, unexpectedly
Not so sure
But I find your allure
Charming in the least
Maybe I'll decide to know you
Maybe I'll ask you the time
But for the moment, you'll maintain that desire
And with that, I'm perfectly fine

She's beautiful
Takes your breath away
Despite your efforts, your eyes never leave her gaze
She makes yo'u nervous
Gives you this indescribable feeling
All you want is to be close to her
Feel her
Listen to her
Touch her
It's those eyes, her smile
The way she laughs at the things you say
I'm no professional
Merely a girl with feelings
But I'll be ****** if you aren't in love
Head over heels
Going crazy for this girl
Who frankly is not too interested in you
I don't get what you see
I don't have to
I just wished that you had seen me
And felt those same things too

I know you look at everyone that way
But I felt like your gaze was for me
That gorgeous smile, quite infectious
Was not for only me
Those poetic thoughts, inquisitive notions
Poetry written, my head was in slow motion
Time felt slower with you around
As I felt my cheeks flush and my lovely heart pound
You gave me honesty, when you spoke of the
Intense feelings of love you hadn't for me
But for a girl, quite undeserving
She lacks that
Iridescence you harness
Your romantic spirit, view of life
Still even a remnant of our 'significant' moments
Brings my heart aflutter
And my soul to a pause
Never before has one look stopped my tracks
But your does that, and so much more
You fail to recognize, that love struck look within my eyes
My shaking hands, my voice trembling
These feelings I haven't a problem remembering
As smart as you appear to be
You're just daft when it comes to your simplistic feelings towards me

Oh this ache
Constant aching
My mind craves your intellectual stimulation
The words your lips form
That make my sweet soul churn
This hope that
In a day
A month
A year
Your heart will turn a new leaf, turn to me
If only dreams were real, sometimes
We'd be together
I bet you've never thought of us
Hands touching
Lips touching
Minds and hearts connecting
Feel the best of my heart when you're near
And you'll know the extent of this silly prayer
For a love unrequited is a sad one at that
Sitting, waiting for a change of heart
That won't likely come, but I want to believe in

America
Land of the free, home of the brave
Soil that was created by the work of slaves
Earth taken from natives
Their tears on a trail
Animals killed, all remains were entrails
Liberty freedom
Liberté, egalité
Fireworks light up the sky
Countries away defenseless people die
Year after year, the fighting persists
Saving the world, or just saving our skins?
Fortune, grand fortune in the USA
More than the poorest of country's
But with these riches comes a great price
Help others in need
Or satisfy our greed
Live long and prosper
I'm not loving it
help a brother in need
But help yourself first
Contradictions, hypocrisy
Tell me again just how great we can be?
Love , compassion
There was never any
Celebrate independence
While some have nary a penny
One cent
The one percent
Contradictions, hypocrisy
Red blood, white faces
Blue open skies, lost opportunity

You don't feel odd around me?
You don't share feelings for me?
All this time I was simply blind
And your head was in the clouds
You think and daydream of her
And I paid no attention to her
Even when I should have
And maybe I wouldn't feel this
Gut wrenching feeling of idiocy
Thinking you'd ever daydream about me
Months and months later I'm still uncertain
Why my feelings for you still exist
I was okay, but then it changed
I started seeing you in that special way
And then your smile took my heart again
So I see I haven't learned
I have so wished to talk of this
To set the record straight
But what to say and what to do
I have not a single idea
Have you even thought of me, of the sweet words from my heart I gave you?
Or did you extinguish that memory, in hopes to forget about me too?
We never were anything
I doubt we'll be anything
Then why is it something
About you that keeps me thinking , hoping
Let me set this straight
You fell for this mysterious person
I decided to ignore what I thought were advances you showed to her
Ignorance, in this case is not bliss
I should've give with my gut in this
The entire time my heart yearned for you
Yours did too, your did too
For someone else, anyone else
So here I sit, collecting my thoughts
Never me, always her
I'm still so kind, but its just her
Eyes, smile, hair, whatever
And I question why I wanted for us to be together

Shudder shudder 
Sometimes falls flat 
When you hit that High note 
There are tears in my eyes 
My hand caresses you 
Quiver at my touch
Up and down I feel your vibration 
The beauty of this magical thing 
Is that sweet music erupts from my violin's string

My heart is literally crying
No longer does it race with anticipation
Now it's just a throbbing, sad thump
Lub dub
Lub dub
If I could cry I would
My heart is literally crying

Slowly drifting 
Fading fading 
Sitting still with no rhyme or reason
Routine routine 
Yes sir yes ma’am 
Yes we’re very pleased 
Well I’m not 
But that doesn’t matter I suppose 
Call me melancholy 
Bringer of gloom and pessimism 
Never shying from reality and realistic tendencies 
Sitting sitting 
Waiting 
But for what?

You never forget your first love
So I'll never forget you.
I still haven't told you this
But, I have a feeling you never knew
how deeply I felt
Those months and months ago
How can I even face you?
In person, I still shake and quake when I get near you
When we talk, and we laugh, my smile fades
I still know you don't see me any other way
I know you think I'm sweet
You tell me that I'm brave
For revealing the feelings I had
Basically to your face
I still recall the few sweet times that we had
I can still smile at that.
I just want to hear your voice again
Stare at your perfect face again
Do you even want to see me again?
I cry if I think about that... again.
You remain a perfect memory in my mind
Your rejection has forever imprinted in my gentle mind
I can't ever forget you
Even if I wanted to
Often I wish I could, but I can't, I just can't
Just don't ever shut me out, please hear me out
I will always care about you, even if you don't see me that way too.

Never will I lose myself
To another feeble mind
Never will I **** a mam
I'd not be so unkind
Never will I never love
It's the best thing of all
Never shall I stop &
Think about nothing for awhile
Never, ever will I give
My heart to some ol' fool
Never will I lie to yo'u
To make myself look cool
Never shall I ever think
I dont have enough grace
And never will I regret seeing
Your smile or your face