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 Nov 2013 Montana Bigelow
T Cup
you tell me you aren't sure of my faithfulness
because her actions once made you cry
but baby,
i'm not her
and you’re ******* crazy if you think that I could ever touch another man
the thought makes me sick
 Nov 2013 Montana Bigelow
T Cup
Our relationship began from a simple Facebook message,
which led into weeks of looking forward to your messages
and catching any glimpse I could of you in the hall

You couldn't like me
You, like someone like me?
She was beautiful, that L girl,
and i had low self-esteem.

I had to get real.
Hours of confiding in my gay best friend for help,
Which didn’t help
     “I can’t believe how much I like him, I don’t know what to do”
Was said to her on the fifth of December.
    I’d only known you for a month then
But, I knew you were gonna be something
Maybe it was your wit, or your most perfect features
Perhaps your smile,
that smell of old spice,
which somehow spoke to your maturity.

In any event,
I had to look for someone I could actually get,
even when I didn't want anyone but you

fast forward

Laid there for twenty minutes that night you first touched me,
I was a scared little ******,
or still considered myself one
Unaware of how emotional things of that nature would become for me
Or already were

but you shushed me and reassured me
"I never want to do anything like this with anyone else"
Is what you said to me
I'll never forget
I was thinking the same thing
Still am.

Can’t wait for the day you touch me again
In whatever way is most pleasing to you
I’ll do whatever you want
Anything feels good with you

Can’t wait to wake up and see that
grin on your face when I kiss your
Chapped lips before you’ve sipped your
morning coffee.


**I’m completely in love with you and every second you ignore me is a different kind of hell.
I am often wondering even when I'm with friends are you really listening?
Do you really hear or do you just pretend or do you selectively listen to hear what you want to.
I know we all selectively listen, at times especially if someone is long winded and we get bored
I believe everyone wants to be listened to and not ignored
If a tree fell in the woods and no one is around, I believe it still makes a sound
If I fell I'm sure I would make a sound and I hope someone would care and listen to what I have to share
I especially hope that when I have something important to say, I hope I have their full attention and they won't just walk away
I hope that when my time is up, people will say among other things she was a good listener
I ask you today Are You Listening?
Having lost my voice it got me thinking about talking and listening
I was doing so well not texting him for 10 days despite him texting me,
Then I blew it and texted him yesterday.
Now I have to start all over again,
And this time I'm considering never texting him again.
I hate him with all my might,
He's so selfish and likes to take control.
I hate him,
Simple as that.
when it becomes more about
how ****** up can we get
how far away from sober can we fall or rise
when the see saw always has the neighborhood fat kid sitting at the other end
then it might be time to evaluate your life
but,
then again,
there's still a half case of PBR in the fridge
and marijuana's hiding behind every single corner
exciting until it gets too boring
then you can always search for that gateway they prattled on about so much in health class
walking down a straight edge only leaves you with ****** feet
and you need those suckers for running,
right?
Got a job waiting tables
put the two weeks in at the car wash
tomorrow's my day off
It's November,
but the sun still thinks it's September
filtering through the dead leaves on bare limbs the color of nostalgia
at a cool seventy degrees
a last hurrah for sundresses and short shorts
fine by me
I'm writing a poem by my open window
letting the dusty, smoky room breathe for once
sure, things could be better
but they sure as hell could be worse
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