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May 30 · 154
Adrian May 30
but emotion flowers up
like blackened roses,
but never shadowed lilies.

Words are a force to be reckoned
and I forgot my own strength.

Honesty isn't always
the best policy.
I'd say it's funny how quickly things can change, but really, it's not. Sometimes it's scary. I'm afraid, deathly afraid and nervous. If I was a train, you could call me a train wreck.
May 29 · 71
Adrian May 29
I can't help myself
from the abrupt distraction
of that tiny fly
Bonus of Covid #5: I have gotten good at catching flies in one hand, but only when I see them in my peripheral vision. If I focus on them it is harder to do.

Ugh it's always the things that are so small that BUG me.
May 29 · 471
Friday, March 90th
Adrian May 29
The leaves May be a May green,
And spring May almost be out,
But to me it is still March,
And April May never come.

May-be it will be March
Until I get back in August.
May-be March won’t ever end.
;) so that means in all of March I’ve been rejected 3 times, one of which I probably shouldn’t count.

Also I just realized that I have 72 followers. Thank you, you amazing 72 people! (I thought I still had 49)
May 29 · 55
Adrian May 29
So many twists and turns,
Rocks in the road,
Broken bridges
Gapping broken land.
Maps never worked,
Nobody ever told me the direction.

Now it’s straightening out,
But I never saw the chasm.
You’ve left me to fall once more.
Is doubly in love even a thing?
May 28 · 71
Adrian May 28
Shifting your soft stance
Discharging feint after feint
You’ve got me real beat.
It’s hard to keep up, —.
May 28 · 143
Just Be.
Adrian May 28
Be you.
Be what you are
Don’t try to uphold an illusion.
It will shimmer then fall,
And then you’ll be left to crawl,
Because they didn’t catch your fall.

As long as you be you as well,
I’ll be me.
Wow, I must be going mental, actual notes!

The first stanza is for me, the last two lines are for —.
May 28 · 70
Adrian May 28
It’s different.
It racks every node
Inside my frail body.
It’s different...

But it isn’t awful,
In fact,
It’s enjoyable.
It makes me feel nervous, it makes me want to hold back. But who’s holding me back besides myself? I don’t know.

Also I’m frail but probably not super frail. I may be “strong” but anyone could break me like a twig, ****.
May 28 · 59
Adrian May 28
Even if one thinks
That what is right
Is wrong,
There is an undeniable guilt
That follows in wake.
May 27 · 61
Adrian May 27
The cinders rise
In flumes of choking smoke
But refreshing rivers flow
And create my lifefull cloak.
The waterfall splashes
And cools the forest
Restoring what was lost.
May 27 · 80
The other side
Adrian May 27
Now I know
What Vance felt like.
It hurts even more
Now that I get
Why he felt
The way he did.
Now I feel bad for both vance and —. (Nope nobody getting names.)
May 27 · 52
Adrian May 27
Maybe life
Will recalculate
All of these chances
For my failure.

And maybe
I’ll succeed.
May 27 · 48
Oh hey
Adrian May 27
Apparently I’m at 10,000 words on my profile. That’s pretty cool.
May 27 · 31
Adrian May 27
It always seems to be those
Who think of themselves as weeds,
That end up being the prettiest roses.
May 26 · 26
Adrian May 26
As cinders rise
From the ashen flame,
Drops of icy thoughts
Quench the fire
Of my heated rebellion;
A suicidal plan.
Some people seemed to be writing poems about embers so I joined in on the fun! None of them are lighthearted.
May 24 · 21
Adrian May 24
Maybe life
Just wants me to suffer.
It’s not like anybody ****** up,
Because I’m already ****** up.

Maybe cool metal
Can freeze my sunburt arms...
May 24 · 53
Adrian May 24
Swirling drops of screeching chalk
Memories left untouched.
Life unwound,
And a life better left in the ground.
Too many emotions to write, so I’m taking a break for a while.
May 24 · 46
Once more
Adrian May 24
Once more
I learn the same lesson
That brought me down
Several times before.
I’m a *******. Nobody’s to blame except me. So, N, don’t blame yourself.
May 24 · 56
Adrian May 24
One step too far.
One step off line.
One step, all my fault.

One step
And I’m reluctant to return.
May 24 · 48
Adrian May 24
You can be the storm,
And destroy my world.
You can be the ashes,
Falling like stone.
There’s a world I own,
And a world you’ve flown.

You can be the feather
Of a flightful bird.
You can become the breeze
Of my heart’s summer.
A world that I’ll flower,
And a world you’ll enter.
May 22 · 65
Adrian May 22
May 21 · 144
Stand Tall
Adrian May 21
There’s always someone
Who you’ll be able
To make smile.

So if you won’t believe in yourself,
Then believe in the me
That believes in you,
And your dreams can come true.
1,000pts for whoever knows where the line “believe in the me that believes in you” comes from. Comment if you think you know it.

Also this isn’t a love poem.
May 21 · 534
Adrian May 21
Beyond this ashen landscape,
And the sifting smoke,
Lie melodic rivers,
in their chilled iridescence.

Blossoming orange clouds
In the morning’s shining sun,
The softly stagnant lake
Sleeps, a dormant source
For the singing streams.
Maybe the charred forest seems long, but such a landscape is not endless.
May 20 · 49
Adrian May 20
The pages lie before me, still lined.
The night is stalking closer,
I don't need to mind.

A light lies beyond the wall;
A wall to block it's flares.
even in this darkness, I'll stand tall.

These pages have now turned blind,
it's too dark for them to see,
and no more are they lined.
May 20 · 49
Adrian May 20
Leave me and go,
so I can watch the gentle flow.
The words I've spoken
left my mind shattered; broken.

You said you'd come
and, yes, you came.
Now let my melodic drops of memory
silently evaporate, beyond the flame.
It isn't. It can't. I won't let it be.
May 20 · 66
Adrian May 20
Am I afraid to fall?
Or am I just in fear
Of unavoidable pain?

Love is the only sport
Where I won’t land on my feet.
May 20 · 25
Adrian May 20
What if the things I say
End up as too much?
And that line
Was long since breached.

It’s something I will regret,
But a something I can’t take back.
If words were really that easy to take back,
Why are there still wars.

All I can do is apologize
And hope that this game
Wasn’t rigged from the start.
It’s a reference to Fallout: New Vegas. A quest is called ring-a-ding-ding, and in that quest you **** someone that shot you in the head (it’s weird). That person has a famous quote at the start of the game “From where you’re kneeling, it may just seem like an 18 karat run of bad luck, but the truth is, the game was rigged from the start.”
May 19 · 40
Adrian May 19
The path is trying
And the cliff is yet to come.
Some days I will rest
Under the scorching sun.
Some days I will climb
Sweating through the morning mist.
Adrian being silly Adrian over here, writing a poem about catching all of the pokemon in a pokemon game. It is a pain, but the satisfaction will gratify it. I am so close.
May 18 · 29
Adrian May 18
Those who start to hit the closest
Always seem to go
In the must abrupt manner,
And far too soon.
May 17 · 48
Adrian May 17
inside little droplets
of silent memories
lies the key
to a world
long since deaf
to the radiating color.
May 16 · 98
incorrect output
Adrian May 16
An incorrect output
to the anger built up over the day.
I wish I could apologize,
but the window just may
have already closed.

I should take back what I say
once in a while.
I'm sorry. I really am.
May 15 · 22
Icy chains
Adrian May 15
Cold and frozen
Inside a cage of my own.
There’s nobody out there to thaw me out,
Nobody to listen for my frostbitten shout.

Maybe I’m just a mannequin,
Singing lullabies and lies
Until my stifled cries
Reveal the real human inside.
After all, mannequins can’t get frostbite. So obviously I’m not one. But maybe my entire personality is just another puppet. Maybe I am a puppetmaster?
May 15 · 24
Notepad 12
Adrian May 15
Tiny drops of memories
Flow past our open minds
Bringing back the melancholy
Of a long forgotten childhood.

Maybe it wasn’t your fault
But I resented you for it.
Maybe you did come back
But you changed so much.
Melancholy sounds like a yummy word. But it isn’t so yummy... EDIT: wow I didn’t notice I already had 11. I posted this hours ago... oops.
May 15 · 51
Notepad 11
Adrian May 15
Among the silence
A voice shall call.
The delicate noise
Making earthquakes
In this songless forest.
A silence will follow,
And the silky song missed.
Some people’s voices sound like music. Some people can sing well. I have yet to meet someone blessed with both.
May 15 · 50
Notepad 10
Adrian May 15
There was a time
That time was now.
Now is gone,
Only to replaced by then,
Along with countless regrets
That continue to plague.
May 15 · 48
Songful birds
Adrian May 15
As the feathers fall
I collect them in reams.
The songbirds play
In my greatest of dreams.
You’re always there, with me,
But when I awake
I remember it is never to be.
I love you. But “you” is a term relating to a person who won’t ever read this... or will they?? Who knows??
May 14 · 20
Adrian May 14
Who are you?
The person
who wrote these pages full?
You wear my name,
play my game,
but I don't remember
if you and I
are just the same lie.
May 14 · 33
Notepad 9
Adrian May 14
The mime drowsily stumbles,
Now awakened from his dream.
All that’s left is the silky memory
Of his imagination’s devious scheme.

The silver sunset awaits his arrival,
So he gallops onwards into nightfall.
I forgot the number. EDIT: it was actually #9 not #8.
May 13 · 51
Because... why not?
Adrian May 13
Inside chains,
Captive in icy walls.
A virus which protects,
And a cold heart
Sitting close to countless deaths.

Another subzero drop,
And my soul shall shatter as well.

If only you knew
That I am sorry.
Yikes I was thinking of three completely different people while writing this.
May 13 · 29
Adrian May 13
In time,
Sparks will fall.
Flames will roar
Over the shimmering horizon.
A well-done sky,
No way to return,
But one way to cry.
May 13 · 25
Adrian May 13
Why should I speak,
If your flawless voice
resonates with the earth?
Why disrupt
The unparalleled song?
Your voice is the glassen sky,
To shatter the flow
Would surely be a crime.
When they wanted me to unmute myself, so they sang a song about it.
May 11 · 16
Adrian May 11
As long as my heart keeps beating,
It will keep unrequitedly loving.
May 11 · 47
Adrian May 11
Swirling colors
And vibrating air,
Filling my world;
Shaking my spine.

The world has moved so much
And now I’m moving off a lifeline.

Now I fall.
The realm of ash awaits,
And I hit the ground with a flume.
May 10 · 27
Mother’s day
Adrian May 10
Dear mom,

We have an unspoken promise;
Not to make sacrificial altars
In the basement.
I kept that promise this year.
That’s my gift.

Next year though...
Is joke. I baked some sweets for my mom and gave a card saying something like this.
Adrian May 8
As paper falls,
the wind is blown.
The life once held in this sole book
is now spread across the land,
free to follow the wind.
May 8 · 40
Notepad 7
Adrian May 8
You’re awesome.

Who you ask?

You! The person reading this.

Now don’t forget that!
We are all awesome because we are all ourselves. These times have been trying and are most definitely uncertain, but I think we’ll make it through, together.
May 8 · 49
Notepad 6
Adrian May 8
Eyes that I thought
Held no value
Are rather pretty
To others.
Apparently I have nice eyes (even though they’re not too great vision wise). You learn something new everyday.
May 7 · 68
Adrian May 7
Trust is a two way handshake
Both parties have to want to shake hands to shake hands properly.
May 6 · 28
Adrian May 6
When shall this fast world,
Stuck in a lasting stasis,
Start to move again?
I wonder if I’ll have a ponytail by the time barbershops open again. My hair’s longer than it’s ever been.
Adrian May 6
Now that strings have been formed,
will they prove to hold like cables,
or is it another delusion?

How am I to awake on time
when my racing mind
keeps me up too late?

Why is my chest
feeling as it is?
my heart
cannot hold emotion,
but why does it act
as if it can feel?

Why do these voices
always get swept over my head?

And how was I so careless,
and open,
to a stranger?

And why are there so many questions
without answers?
Even that last question I don't have an answer to! It's weird.
May 6 · 377
Adrian May 6
Light clouds
softly dance
along this azure sky.

The wind
lies unseen,
and unfelt
along these vernal days.

As much as I freeze
in her gusty presence,
I can't help
but miss the company.
Yep. Back with another weird wind love story thing. I honestly don't know why I chose the wind as a symbol for love but whatever. In actuality, it has been quite breezy where I live. (I'm by the ocean so what else should I expect?)
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