On Friday Morning I told you that I knew
as I walked through the door
blue

On Friday Morning I was not worth it
as I walked through the door
hit

On Friday Morning the night came back in pieces
as I walked through the door
releases

I had told you that I loved you
as I blackout danced
woo

A lie
A goodbye

Thoughts never left unfelt;
words never left unthought,
torturing the mind they cannot escape.
Illusive, yet demanding to be spoken.

Breaking, hiding, running at impossible speed
in fear of the coming storm.
The syllables are sprinting
while utterances bevel behind boarded windows

The mind turned against itself;
feelings turned against their maker,
while the dark rains, drowning rains, are pouring.
The intracranial hurricane forces itself through the ruins.

Treacherous, turbulent storm a’brewing
Discolored and tornadoing
through the mind’s hills and valleys.
Unorganized and unrelenting.

I took you to the top of a Colorado mountain
A yogi with blonde hair and light eyes
Told us to let go of our anger, let it seep through our skin like a fountain
And evaporate into the angelic blue skies
Let it go
Let something go

She said "Be here, happy, now."
You told me that night
You felt relieved for the first time, though you didn't know how
But you finally felt you were not going to fight
Yourself
Your mind

I bombarded you with my energy
I cocooned you in my love
I gave you my spirit
I only hope you look back on our wanderings
That you are thankful for what you recieved
And that you still hold in you a bit of my energy, a bit of my peace.

Navigating these new age jungles
City species run through the curious dark
Thinking now is the time to be alive
As we stay out late enough to watch the sunrise
From suicidal heights
We stay awake to watch our minds commit themselves to their ultimate demise

Once bustling brains become a barren tundra
Their city thoughts die
Bodies still moving with the beat
Thoughts experience defeat
Conquered by the never ending
Availability of bad decisions

We are the buildings with out ceilings
We want another round
We are badasses without feelings
(At least we pretend to be with our looks and our sounds)

~

Messes in dresses running through empty city streets
After the voices of those we love whispered
They would never let us go
And proceeded to do just so

Learning to articulate from rap songs
Not resisting the urge to emulate our bad influences  
Lot of love
Lot of hate
**** karma when you can’t discern
What’s good from what is wrong

It’s all going to break
Down the hollow factory’s stairs
Where we ruin our lives without compunction
And brag about who we will impress
With the mistakes we said we’d made

Every time I see men in uniform
I'm reminded of how you threw your life away
Willed yourself a killing storm
Leaving me with nothing to say

I believe in reincarnation
Someone will pick your soul out
Of the trash filled mountain, making of you a new creation
And I hope- no. I know without a doubt

You will be a flea.

Breathing,
Feeling,
Crushing weight of heartbreak healing.

I am walking,
I am singing;
I am living,
I am being.  

It's raining sunshine;
I'm sweating ice.

The painter is blind,
The pianist is deaf,
The poet is illiterate.
You are inconsiderate.

At best.

-

I am walking.
Ten miles yesterday.
Talking
One hundred miles an hour, looking for a way-
Some way- to keep myself alive.

I am singing.
Bourbon fueled ballads of confusion
Not quite dancing, my body is swinging
In ways reminiscent of your delusion:
Somehow you thought you couldn't thrive.

I am living.
I am soaking up Earth.
I am forgiving
You for my hell. I am acknowledging your worth.
Not everything of me did you deprive.

I am being.
I am in the present
I am seeing
Clearly, we came and went.
Now, I still hope for your well being.

-

For your sun speckled eyes to shine down at someone, one day, you'll love.
For your violent mind, one day, to calm.
Your pressured heart; your unfinished art.

For your captive spirit to be free again.
For the wanderer inside you to be found again.

I picture
The mountaintops we threw our brains over
The cities I traced for you
The shoes you laced, the adversity we faced...

I still hope

You find those things one day
In your poor racked brain:
Turn them over,
Read the dates stamped on the back
like old Polaroids.
Letting them dance through your mind
Leaving imprints
Inspiring new bounds, new footprints.

You, and your tricks and your toys
Running with your bad ideas
Like scissors You, and your kicks and your ploys
To see what messes you could create for your gallerias.



Feed me *******
Smoke me down  
Pour me champagne
Evaporate this town



You're a liar
But I need you in my marrow...
Yes, now, the notes are gettin' higher
The hallways narrow

As my brain gets brighter
Eyes get wider
Life gets lighter
As I sip sweet cider

I'll look up longer
Still connected to Earth's core
Body to mind, stronger
Watching beauty, on it's hinges swing the door

Leaves drip like tears from trees
As the clouds paint the sky
But still life is full of idiosyncrasies
And you still told too many lies