My head is aching
And full of you
My heart's not quite breaking,
But God, it's painful, too.
When I think of what we've left unsaid
My stomach starts to turn
And with every memory of your bed
My eyes begin to burn.
My hands are at a loss for words
When they can't find yours to hold
And with your voice so long unheard
My ears feel lost and cold.
Each winter storm feels longer
Each summer, much less warm.
Each night the black is stronger
Each star has lost its form.
Mondays feel more blue,
Though every day is black and gray,
You took my rainbow with you
Every time you walk away.
I will my heart to forget
I will my mind to rest
I will my hands not to fret
And remind myself that,
For me, you may not be the best.

I’ve heard your same seven stories half a hundred times
And I must have told you at least 50 of mine,
Although it seems like you’ve forgotten.
When you asked if you were laying too close
I felt my heart drop,
Again.
Of all the times I’ve offered my heart
And you’ve stood and watched it fall apart
Somehow that was the worst one-
Laying in your bed I’ve grown to know,
Realizing that you've let me go.

One day you won't need love anymore
You'll wake up to your alarm, instead of love's siren song.
Your head will make decisions, not your heart.
You'll laugh and smile, carefree.
The sun will shine.
One day you won't need love anymore.
You won't want or be wanted.
The fall leaves will be a little less bright,
You'll find less warmth on a winter night.
One day you won't need love anymore.
The songs won't sound the same.
You'll have less joy, but still, less pain.
Your heart won't break, but it'll beat less too.
One day you won't need love anymore,
But my dear,
You'll wish you did.

I put my hand on your knee
Silently, with every laugh,
Hoping you'd catch my hint.
You offered me a ride
To my too close car,
Hoping I'd catch yours.
And because I get a sense of deja vu
Every time you're in the room,
I wasn't surprised when you kissed me.
"Thats enough for now".
You walked away,
With my heart wandering after you.

I am from New Jersey.
From the paradise of small towns
And the inferno of concrete jungles.
I am from truck tire playgrounds,
Porch Clubs, and the whistle
Of the Riverline.
I am from divorce.
From alcoholism and denial,
From broken doors and hearts.
I am from next to hell.
From pouring out full forties
For one's homies passed away.
From too many candlelight vigils
And sidewalks littered with fourth grade pictures.
I am from the garden state.
From cows, corn, and Clinton,
And tractors in the parking lot.
I am from tradition.
From pasta and seven fishes,
From "Mafiosa!" screamed in the streets
And "No WHOPs" pasted on storefronts.
I am from love.
From three parents and four siblings,
From six dogs and duplicate holidays,
And the smell of tulips and holly.

I've lost so many things, my dear,
My head, my heart, my soul
I've lost my present, my future, and all times of old.
I've lost so many things to you,
My dignity, my patience, my love,
You took my time, my passion, and just a single glove.
I lost 3 pairs of socks to you, a toothbrush, and some more
I've left at least 2 pairs of pants on your bedroom floor.
You took my favorite sweatshirt and my favorite song,
You've even stolen my sleep, keeping me up all night long.
I've lost so many things to you,
My blood, my pride, the color blue.
You've taken so many things from me,
The sun, the moon, the sea.
You've taken so many things,
My dear, why won't you take me?

Nightmares become reality.
The monsters leave your closet,
Crawl out and join you in your bed.
And once you let them in, dear,
They'll infest your head.
Nightmares become reality,
You believe them 'til they're true
And before you even notice, dear,
They've engulfed you.
Nightmares become reality,
As real as you and I.
They manifest themselves in front of you
And, dear, they break your heart.
Nightmares become reality so, please, have very few.