I miss you, I miss my happiness
I miss my life when I was boundless
I miss you, I miss my youthfulness
I miss my past when everything was endless

I am tired, tired of my illnesses
I am tired, tired of this loneliness
My eyes are dry, void of tears;
I am alone, everyone is heartless

I long for the days when I felt beautiful
I long for my dream that was delightful
I miss the smile that brought joy to others;
You all are happy I feel helpless

I miss my kids, I miss my parents
I miss the days when I would meet friends
I am a lonely soul like the prisoners;
Everyone is grown up I am hopeless

I miss you, I miss your memories
I miss you, I miss our love stories
I feel so down, I needed your arms;
Nothing is left to me, I am loveless

You walk beside me
ignoring my presence
You read others except me
though I write about you!

You hear me every day
but don't care about me
You like others except me
tho you know I love you!

Your silence hurts me deep
with every passing moment
Your pride tears me apart
like a wounded heart!

I miss you in my teardrop
and I love you the same
I am the only crop
who's alive with your name!

any two people  coming together can be a game/life changer
but without intimacy they are only like
a fish without water a bird without air
leaves without roots dreams without a dreamer
this dazzling carousel of constant stimuli
this attack of never-ending newness
that spins the world is the ******* of  void
I dissapear from thought I dissapear from heart
I am just a message an unresponded voice
a poor sign without the depth of symbol
an avoided truth an impossible commitment
there is no time there is no space for giving and receiving
the most precious substance, our deeply lonely selves
the tears are helpless, here it is, have some void
it evacuates itself in language, oh, language games
played with much innocence,  and eagerness
I contemplate the void in mesmerizing eyes voices words
taking responsibility for  illusions the hardest bit
the body knows first about the danger left behind
by a theoretical love
only by entering the void I can feel it, oh yes
the ******* of emptiness is inside me, too

a fantasy of love is
a sinkhole
full of water and deaths,
of hearts torn in sacrifice to
false gods, human gods,
indignities, caricatures of reality

I gave everything to them
believing
because it was easier,
because it was the program,
the curriculum,
the single choice available to me

it made of me a cenote,
drowned my heart in waters
caught
by the stony hole
in the indifferent jungle

sank me
in a deep blue hole
waiting to be discovered
by you, who made
of me a treasure, a precious cargo
priceless
worthy
beloved


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater