I saw her in an open field,
a stick sword I saw her wield,
screaming and waving the stick around,
but there was no sound,
just a rustling of leaves in the wind,
that's when her eyes shot like a pin,
at mine,
and she smiled so shyly, so fine,
I was awkward and fell when I started towards her,
the wind stopped and electricity started to stir,
I asked her if we could someday be in love in French,
she smiled shyly again and punched my arm,
and called me a maiden *****,
I picked up a stick and told her to duel,
for the fire was getting fuel,
she threw down her stick,
and I went for a kiss but my nose she decided to lick,
staring with an awkward smile she pushed my cheeks,
and kissed me as I could feel my heart peaks,
awkward and my hand started to sweat,
I awoke with the feeling of winning a bet,
I will wait till tonight,
because you may not be real or in sight,
but that just means I havnt met you yet.

More I write,
aboot her,
it might make her real.

I'll be the first to admit
I'm really out of shape,
My hair is way too long
And always in my face.

I'm not that tall,
I'm actually really short.
I don't have nice features,
And I'm not good at any sport.

I'm kind of like a black eye;
Nobody wants one.

I can make you smile
I can make you laugh,
I can make you feel wanted,
So you can forget about the past.

I will always be here for you,
Day and night,
You'll never have to raise your voice,
Because we would never fight.

But none of that matters,
At least that's what it seems,
No one really wants
The unattractive me.

I wish it were enough
To love your heart
But you have a mind in the way
I have a mind in the way

Future
Eyes
Money
The truth
It's all in the way

My anxiety and yours
My love and yours
It doesn't help us
Like it could

Love should be everything
So why is it so hard?
Why can't I be happy with you?

But who are you?

You might just be made up
You may not be real
Are you real?

Guilt.
the only one who is guilty of anything is me.
of being naïve.
your treason was so exposed.
post cards, emails, text messages.
written in my own blood.
reminding me of how faithless I have become.
it was always present,
uncontrollable,
my love for your stigmata.
enraptured me.
I took it as my own.
Sociopath, NARCISSIST, insecure...
your transference worked so well.
for someone so stupid
you always seemed smarter
more mature
.
I was the only one being stupid.
falling for those sweet,
made up lines.
that took me
hook and sinker.