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  May 2018 Simplified
Somewhere between
Our stolen glimpses,
Our avoided phone calls,
Our empty inboxes,
Our overflowing diaries,
Our false excuses,
Our truthful lies,
Our passionless conversations,
Our emotional poems,
Our unkept promises,
Our treasured secrets,
Somewhere between us,
We lost each other,
And found ourselves.
One day, you'll realise that all the pain made sense. It was here not to break you, but to make you.
Don't lose faith in love. Find yourself, and fall in love.
Simplified May 2018
Draw it they said, let it all out.
So I gave that a go and I drew what I felt.

But they didn't see.

Sing it they said, make it a song.
So I sang them a tune to describe what was wrong.

But they didn't hear.

Say it they said, make it a play.
but when I tried that they just looked away.

They weren't watching.

Write it they said, share us your story.
So I wrote them a novel that didn't have glory.

But they didn't read it.

Why are you sad? Are you in pain?
They ask me again as I struggle in vain.

Am I really here?
All the suggestions on how to help....
Simplified May 2018
When did it all start? Tell me, was it always okay?
This word that was created, and the pain we face each day.

Did it start with my mum? Her story, so like mine.
I never even knew. She'd hid it all this time.

When I told her that he'd touched me when I was just nine.
And she told me that was normal, I would be just fine.

She said 'That's just what boys do when they are growing up.'
But WHY was it okay for him to feel me up?

Is that why when I was eighteen and had waited all those years,
I gave myself to a guy who only gave me tears.

Because isn't that just normal? Isn't that their right?
Even if the thought of it makes me sick each night.

And the dark path that I followed, was that all for none?
The worthless feeling drowning me for something I had done.

How about the morning, that I woke up all alone?
With the ache between my thighs and no memory of my own.

Is it my fault for drinking? Or wearing certain clothes?
I tell myself I'm fine with it, besides, no one else knows.

How about a relationship that started out so nice,
But soon I lived in fear and always paid a price.

Should I have listened better? Why did he get so mad?
Is it fine because he loves me? Is it really all that bad?

Or that time that I was pregnant? I remember the surprise.
As I held my gut in agony, as blood ran down my thighs.

I never got to hold him, he never got to grow,
Because his daddy had taken him, with a single deadly blow.

It was that point that I realized, no it's not okay.
I would have raised that boy good, to never hurt that way.

Just because they're male, or big and strong and tall.
That doesn't mean they have the right to make us feel so small.

I want out of the mindset, that says this is allowed.
I'll make sure that my opinion is heard good and loud.

If I ever get the chance, to have another son.
I'll make sure that I raise him to never hurt no one.

And if I have a daughter, I'll make sure that she knows.
That she is strong and beautiful, more precious than a rose.

So no,  I don't like catcalls, or when you grab my ***.
Because I'm more than just meat, that you can taste or pass.

I am a woman, young and strong and free.
And it would be a privilege to get to know me.
Hard to write. Good to say. None of this is okay.
Simplified May 2017
Would he be kind?
Would he be sweet?
Would he make me feel special?
Cause that would be neat.

Would he take me out dancing?
Would he kiss me goodnight?
Would he laugh with my family?
That would be a real sight.

Is there really that someone?
Does each soul have a mate?
Could you find your true love,
In a world with such hate?

How would you know?
How could you be sure?
That the person you love,
loves you even more.

They say it is worth it,
all the pain you may feel.
but how can you tell?
If this feeling is real?

There's this fear that lingers,
it won't go away.
of pain and chains,
and tears every day.

Do I want to risk it?
Could I be that strong?
could I live with the agony,
if it went really wrong?

I know it is out there.
that I do see.
but sometimes I wonder
if it's  out there for me.

Love I have seen,
love I have felt
but love that is

I know nothing about.

Would he help guide me?
Shield me from my fears?
Help me climb my mountains?
Wipe away all my tears?
  May 2017 Simplified
the hand is the most flexible piece of the human body
26 bones in each
with a plethora of calcium and cartilage
they can perform a variety of motions
millions of years of evolution have funneled down
to billions of years of probabilities and somehow
despite the statistical improbability
of two people on a planet
of 7 billion
our hands fit together
as no one else's could.
Darkness was my pain
My rod, my staff, my cane
For darkness I became

Not for evil, power, or gain
Nor for lust of mighty reign
But because I held such disdain
For the things to which I am chained

From the sky it fell like rain
A dark and growing stain
Chilling my shredded veins
The source of all my shame
Simplified Jul 2015
What is a word for this feeling?
For this sinking feeling.
This feeling of dissatisfaction,
That chokes my breath.

Can you tell me a word for this feeling?
For this painful feeling.
This feeling of powerlessness,
In this great wide world.

Is there such a word for this feeling?
For this dizzy feeling.
This feeling of constant spinning,
Where my feet never touch solid ground.

I need a word for this feeling!
For this heavy feeling.
This feeling of hopeless choices,
I can’t make up my mind.

There has to be a word for this feeling!
For this frozen feeling.
This feeling of time flying by,
When my life is numb from the cold.

Will you find me a word for this feeling?
For this defeated feeling.
This feeling of constant failure,
Because I’m too weak to stand.

I shall pursue a word for this feeling.
For this old feeling.
This feeling of quickly ageing,
And not completing a single thing.

I hope I find a word for this feeling.
For this persistent feeling.
This feeling that never leaves me,
Keeping me from sleep.

What is a word for this feeling?
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