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nyleda 5h
if you want me to write about you
here are the requirements:

1. love me
show me that you care
constantly adore me
have me spill my deepest, darkest secrets to you
give me no other choice but to trust you
show me that love is not just a word

2. hurt me
you can hit me, for all I care
with your words or your fists
throw away everything that we had
tell me all your words were lies
you can break my heart, I promise

3. leave me
walk away without saying goodbye
turn and never come back
the only parting gift you can leave me
is the distant memories we made

once you're truly gone from my life
I know it's safe
to spill my emotions onto a page
transform them into black and white
letters and words and sentences

you'll never see it
but that doesn't mean it's not there
02.19.2020
nyleda 7h
how many poems
are titled
"love"?

how many words
are used to describe
this phenomenon?

how many hearts
are broken
at the hands of it?

how many people
truly believe
in love?
02.19.2020
nyleda 7h
i'm about as transparent
as the mirror on my wall
that says to me
"where is your mask?
put it on."
02.19.2020
nyleda 12h
somebody once told me
"we need more people like you in this world"

I don't mean to be arrogant
or egotistical
or whatever
just let me brag about myself
a little bit

I think I'm more compassionate than most people
I have a little more love in my heart
and I care deeply about everyone
everything is a little more personal
I see things in gray, not black and white
I'm as open as open can be
because I will accept everyone and everything
just as they are

(I sound so self centered, don't I?)

but since I think in this way
and the world in my eyes
is rose colored
it makes me mad that everyone else
does not see it
my way

like why do you laugh
at a student
who is a little slow
who asks questions
because he doesn't understand?
why do you snicker
behind his back?

why do you feel the need
to throw the volleyball
as hard as you can
towards the girl that you know
is afraid of being hit?

why do you stare
at the scar on the side
of her cheek
and point?
and say just under your breath
"thank god I don't look like that"

why do you smile
and flirt
with the sophomore girls
in your class?
why do you allow that?

why do you sneak your hand
under her shirt
and draw your name
in black pen?
why don't you just
stay away from her?

why do you call him out
in front of everyone
and yell at him
and denounce him
until he has tears in his eyes?

I could go on and on

maybe these things are trivial
and maybe they don't matter to most
but for me
maybe just for me
it matters

maybe it's just me
who doesn't understand
why the world has to be so cruel

maybe it's just me
who knows what it feels like
to live in this world

or maybe it's just me
who is too weak
to brush of these problems
like they're nothing
instead I carry them on my shoulders

you tell me
02.19.2020
nyleda 2d
maybe if you knew
all this poetry I'm writing
is only for you

maybe you'd give me a second chance
02.17.2020
nyleda 2d
what makes me dumber than him?

how come he gets to miss
two
full
days
of school

and when I miss
just
two periods

you have to complain
about how you don't like
that I'm 'not present in class'
and that I should be
because I don't
'pick up things as quickly'
as he does

let me tell you
I just got an A+ on my math test
my worst subject
and I have all A's
in all my classes
and so does he

so what's the difference?
but you can't tell me that

you don't tell me that
because you don't have an answer

and yes, I have to put in the extra effort
to do well in school
and what's wrong with that?
you keep saying he can get all A's
without any effort
and that's good
and that just automatically means
that he can miss school
and I can't

he's smarter than me
so he can just skip
and I can't

there is a huge difference
between 48 hours
and 80 minutes

and yet he gets to
and I don't

just
tell
me
why

but you won't
you won't
because you can't
you can't
because you know that I'm right

you're too much of a coward
to tell me to my face
how you don't like me
and my passions
so you try to use my intelligence
as an excuse
you try to pretend that you care
when you really don't

stop
I'm not as dumb
as you think
02.17.2020
nyleda 2d
there is nothing more joyful
than eating a baked potato
at 2 am in the morning
02.16.2020
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