She shoots
she scores
she cheats
what a *****.

Her veins on fire, envy pierce her eyes
always on her mind, creeping in her sleep
lingering as she wakes, following
a trail of lies, deceit, guilt
a pain of a plan, pin in her hand,
blood fills the needle
a miss, can't feel the bliss.

a narrow tunnel, holding on to faith,
some hope, an ex lover knocks on her door
yearning for more, so much more,
between the sheets, then sleep

Kiss goodbye, time passes
her new found lover
says he loves her
and she says in back.

Retraction, a curse a spell
scared to say the wrong name
when she makes love,
is it truly love?

If it was, why is she searching for drugs?

I think the reason we want it so bad
is because we have a problem with power
because it's a distraction we can control
an escape because we need some kind of change
when we feel stuck in a routine where the result is always the same
feeling bored of no real reward
so we will always want something more

I woke up from the dream
Where I loved you and you loved me.
A tender kiss, arms wrapped around me,
promising me you'll never leave
Couldn't be your fault, seeing you suffering
When a freezing night chilled me to the bone
I soon realized, I would be alone.
a drink too much, whiskey dancing on your breath
we failed to see the event coming
Taking our cherished promises, made of love,
Our plans and future, to dispose
when your told the truth, the consequences to life,
there was no right there was no wrong,
I could of stopped the disaster, kept hidden from sight
we didn't predict this, nothing seemed right,
i lost my lover being arrested before my eyes
he lost his rights, and tried to fight for his life,
in their sight he committed a crime,
Found guilty, for my voice, my idea, my choice
I'm to blame, when I think of your name i feel shame
but then think to myself, this is what i deserve.
I'm the addict, the guilty one, the one favor, left undone.
4 years, was filled with laughter, is now no longer sometime we are searching after.
I will always remember your touch, your stare, can no longer see,
shows me what can end in fatality,
Because of me, a ruined life. A decision i will always regret, don't deserve to be alive. Losing him to a lie, for that i need to die.
A big mistake, it's clear to see, the damage, done by me.

The water drips down the faucet
thirsty for speech
Molly misfit doesn't speak a word
but she's clever when disturbed
round and round you will go
All the pretty colors wild and free
describing your senses, absent sleep
some things take hold, making you feel bold
get your creativity flowing, racing, while it makes no sense
you feel the rhythm in every inch
and you explore the depths of normality in a insane way
because things seem different, but it's you.
You're never same, constant change, feeling overjoyed racing away
Like you found yourself on Molly's ride, but learn to much to fast
You're no longer trapped, you are free, to breathe and be serene
I found you, and you found me. In each other we find one another, because we are alike you and me. We just believe in a different destiny, under the same wing of Molly's side, share the warmth she provide. Hours pass, feeling good feeling great, hopefully the morning won't be a mistake, after we get our way, wanting this feeling to stay, my heart knows a good feeling, allowing us to be comfortable here in the now, ******* will need to suffice as the term of how it feels to be alive, right here right now, I'm happy, touched by love, and kissed from above, heaven is here, on your skin, it's good, not sin. Finally everything makes sense, contentment sweeping over me, enjoy Molly's gift while it last, just be glad it was a blast, and remember how it felt, from start to end, what I know now can't be replaced, an unforgettable experience, i cannot forget, reminding me to look out for you, and you for me, even when the end is near, we won't forget or fear, when the magic burns out, and we had a taste, just know that together we found this place, our discovery, beautiful sane insanity, a needed escape, the great sensations and positive vibes, trust and happiness for you and me, will always be awaiting my return, I earned the secret, of reality, no need to hide my changing mind, set it free, be real with me, hiding from the truth, the remedy, but here i've found the key to serenity.

I know you're scared,
you think it's hard,
you're not prepared

The scars remain,
when things aren't the same
anymore then what they used to be,
but the past is the past, believe me

I used to picture something real,
but was blind and ignorant
and came to see,
the truth was make believe and
what matters was being sane,
But for me,
I couldn't believe,
I could survive,
the darkest times,
the hidden clock,
all the treasures stocked inside,
were made of dust,
careless lust,
of words, and choices, my action
things i would never do with real passion
scared of reality and the unknown,
****, I never felt so alone,
in my thoughts, always needing to show,
what i feel of chasing but hiding too ,
what matters to me-
the pain, the bruising,
fights I constantly lose,
tricking my self, lost satisfaction
everything i knew,
was the false version, gave the fire fuse
But still I believed,
needing more than anything,
stability and motivation for more,
was the reason I evened the score,
when i promised I would never be
like you, who took advantage of me,
my body, respect, self-image
i turned against you,
my needs, my wants, and feels
when you pretend to be real,
dreams that you were different,
but really you were just the same,
a clone of lies, i pretended to know,
showing false intentions, the misfire
true desire,
i thought was real, that I was shown,
was fiction, a fairytale,
Like a dream, the darkest crime,
his attraction, to me, to mine
lies, deceit, i hoped weren't real,
were a mask, the fake version of himself,  chosen to feel.
finally shows the black and white, a mistake identity.
selling desire and affection,
an empty promise, love, direction
as you faked you're affection,
You got an ******* off vulnerability, pleasure, pride,
taking advantage of the gain,
In hurting her, he corrupted her mind,
her thoughts of what's inside,
was it his or was it mine?
Fear of rejection, Won't want me, no need, says she
and blocked him, she didn't want to see,
what she thought, wasn't, what she seemed,
The effect, he won in making her fears begin to magnify, she actually scared herself, from herself, how she would react, her hidden thoughts, the secret service the done deed, feeling ashamed of, blaming herself, being a failure, she threatened to cut herself, needing a reason to stay alive, face her fears, needing to battle her life. Arms cut, wanting to die. Worthless, in pain caused by selfish satisfaction. One question, to be alive or to live a lie. Help and take action, or let the unknown be the reaction. For this source of action the opening key needs a honest reaction, the must, the gift of admiration, sheer
compassion.

Trauma sits heavy upon my chest, decreasing my ability to express.

My hurt is big, my shame is thick,
My behavior can be so toxic.

I am so sorry this darkness flies out
From beneath my shackled chest

And I am so horrified, that it is with you
My painful poisin comes to rest