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milkweedangel Aug 28
You named me
Lightheart
but made it heavy

You called me
Lightheart
but gave me darkness
And so with that I had to leave the gift-name behind and give myself a new one
milkweedangel Aug 15
Cut
it cuts me up so badly
on the inside
i wish i was cut up
on the outside
  Jun 16 milkweedangel
larni
i overthink
i panic
i stress
i worry

but

i trust
i care
i stay
i love
milkweedangel Jun 16
I consume any story
with situations worse than mine

it’s a way to prove to myself
that I can survive this

and a way to cry
over anything that is not myself

because crying
might make it real
might make it true

if I don’t cry
it’s not really happening
right?
milkweedangel Jun 16
Dry
Is my heart drying up?
or just the words?
I cry and cry
over sad dog tales
but I can’t bring myself
to let the tears for
my grandfather and
my friends
slip from my
eyelids
anymore

its heavy.
milkweedangel May 19
i think that maybe
my chest is so heavy
because i do not have the words
to empty out this pain
of late

i know this must be true
because i think of the physical pain
i could have
often  
as though it’s become so bad
again
that i need something desperate
and permanent
to prove to you
that my pain is here

she asked me to draw butterflies
again
and then she drew one
on her own wrist
so that mine would have a
friend
i cried and after that i
told her i wouldn’t hurt myself
anymore
so i will not go back on that promise

but nonetheless i still wonder
how it is i am to express this pain
if i do not have words
and i do not have wounds
on my skin

it festers
I just want to sleep
milkweedangel May 19
Heavy and sleepless
my heart is inert
Tearful and dreamless
my soul is hurt
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