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 Feb 2016 Mikaela K
William Keech
I hate you
I can't stand you
I hope I'm never like you
You killed us
You beat us
You broke us
It took years to repair
All the damage that you caused
You never can recall
All the anger you
While the tears ran down
Our faces
We had to learn to lie
To hide from all the pain
To keep you safe
Because you were supposed
To be our protector
You were supposed to be a father
An now matter how
Much you hurt us
We still loved you
We still took up for you
When the world turned
It's back on you
We tried our hardest
But it was never good enough
We always just a little less
Than the perfection
That you wanted
So you drowned us in a bottle
And all of your sorrow
Then we finally good see
All the greif an pain you
Caused us
We stood up to you
An you hated us
Threw us out
An we swear we would never
Be you I swore I'd never hurt
Anyone like you always seemed too.
Now that I am older
I can forgive you
But I'll never forget
The pain I saw every time
On my mother's face when
You hit her
An I'll never forget
The effect you had on me
Or the pain you afflicted on our family.
To the deadbeat I hate to call my father,
I can’t say I hate you, for I would be hating myself.
You walked out of my life when I was four,
Yet came back a decade later asking me to ignore what you put me through,
Asking me to put the past on the highest shelf
Of my metaphorical closet.
I did as you asked, thinking this time around things would be different.
For a year I was overjoyed, you put me before yourself
But as the saying goes, what goes up must come down,
And your façade began to crumble.
Slowly but surely my calls went to voicemail,
My texts were never received,
Our plans rain checked for another day that never came.
I told you it was okay.
I was afraid telling you my feelings would make you runaway.
My anger was taken out on the woman that you hurt
My anger was taken out on the woman you cheated on and abused.
All the horrible things I wanted to say to you, I said to her instead.
My mother, the only parent I truly have, began to call you too.
Everyday, her and I would fight, trying to figure out what to do.
Well I’ve decided I’ve had enough.
You are not a man.
You are unfit to be a father.
You choose your own happiness over mine.
You say I asked for a lot-
When all I wanted was to catch up.
Ten years is a large gap.
I know I’ll see you at family gatherings,
I know I’ll have to deal with you eventually.
But I refuse to be fooled by you again.
You are a coward.
You have three daughters that need their father.
Two of them refer to their step-dad as their only dad.
I unfortunately do not have that luxury for my step father is a lot like you.
They say ignorance is bliss, but that is not the case.
You’ve hurt me too many times and there is no one to blame but myself.
I let you back in.
I listened to your lies.
From now on, I will not hide this problem on that metaphorical shelf.
You are the issue.
I am done with you.
I cannot hate you, as I said before.
Half of me is you.
But half of me is my mother.
The half that is kind and strong and knows when to move on.
I know you’ll want to be a part of my life again, but you’ll be too late.
I thought I needed my father, but I have enough people in my life to fill that role.
You are irrelevant to me.
I do not need you now.
I will not need you later.
A mother so caring.
A mother so dear.
A mother who wipes away every single tear.
A mother who is kind.
A mother who is strong.
A mother who has been strong for so long.

A mother who is a blessing.
A mother with such a heart.
A mother who has stayed with me through the dark.
A mother who has come so far.
A mother who shines bright as a star.
 Sep 2015 Mikaela K
But is it really such a crime?
Avoidance, that is.
I wouldn't call it isolation,
nor anti-social behavior.

Perhaps I just enjoy the quiet
and the decrease in anxiety
a bit more
than mindless chatter
and having to worry about everything I say.

Please, darling,understand this one thing.
I'll avoid people quite often until my last breath.
Only under this circumstance shall I function semi-correctly.

 Sep 2015 Mikaela K
There's a hurricane named after you,
and I've never heard of anything more fitting.*


— The End —