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 Nov 9 Lila Platt
julianna
There are days
That I look in the mirror and see
An unfamiliar face
There’s a disconnect and I’m
Dissociative.
I know it’s me,
But it feels all so strange
To not feel anything at all.
There are off days
When I speak to people
And I feel nothing from their eyes
They’re just empty and I’m
Dissociative.
You want to have some emotion
But frankly,
There’s none there
Because a glass wall has arisen
Between you and the world
And that’s
Dissociative.
Like the time I was walking
And it was a movie all around me
No depth,
Just a two dimensional view
I was
Dissociative.
Or that time that I was floating
In the top right of my body
As only my concious,
Looking down on myself
Because I was
Dissociative.
It’s like someone has pulled the wire that connected you and yourself/the world. Derealization/depersonalization can be scary, but it’s my reality.
 Nov 9 Lila Platt
cleobug
got all these voices in my head
and monsters in my bed
and memories of words and things
i can't recall i said
 Nov 9 Lila Platt
Mohannie

You're more beautiful
And more outstanding and bright
Than you'll ever know.

You're worth more than you'll know. Just a reminder.
 Sep 23 Lila Platt
cecelia
darling, i know they will tell you
your body is a temple
but they will forget that this temple has
sapphire roads
leading to incessant pounding of a fist
on iron gates of your heart
your marble columns and ivory floors will crumble
t h u m p  t h u m p  t h u m p
through the kudzu constricting your lungs
do not force yourself to breathe thorns
when you feel inadequate

darling, i know your body is a temple
but they will forget that this temple has
splintery bridges spanning the deepest chasms
of a mind carved from gold
it is easy for the slightest bit of heat to melt
your thoughts until they pour as thick as molasses
into your ivy misshapen lungs
it is okay to have your fruits plucked from you
and roots destroyed
when you can rebuild
again

darling, i know they will tell you
your body is a temple
but they will forget that this temple has been mined
from replenished caverns and forged
by a deadlier inferno still raging within
your flames will be fanned by the winds of change
because you finally
learned to breathe air
after you have cleared the garden
growing deadly in your lungs
do not be afraid of those who have destroyed you
when you have a fire in your eyes and oxygen in your veins
 Sep 23 Lila Platt
Wicked
Faith
 Sep 23 Lila Platt
Wicked
When things are always going wrong
you start to lose faith.
My faith in God is waning.
A God who loves his people,
wants them to live,
to be happy,
a loving God,
would let so many horrific things happen.
He let my heart be shattered.
He made me autistic.
He made me with Tourette’s.
He let my parents fall out of love.
He took my best friend.
I’ve lost faith in the god of deathless death,
pain, loss, and oppression.
*sigh*
I like my headphones for the
Insulation. Sometimes my ears
Take in too much stray noise,
Dredge up too much disorienting
Mud from the depths of a TV
Screen or an iPod. Then I can
Always snuggle into my headphones
And be silent - and silence is a
Dear dear commodity, to be sure,
When every other scene-
Stealing, pudgy-mouthed buffoon
Has to put his ten cents in. So
Much sound should be a sin;
Background music, ambient noise,
Music for airports, and pubescent
Boys screeching from tinny silver
Speakers near the wall. I don't
Want it, not every bit, not all
The hate and the slippery tongues
That speak and salivate and don't
Say anything human. I want to reprimand,
To excommunicate them from
This Holy rite of sound. (And really,
I would be content to never hear
Music if I could block out the roundabout
Fights and the sultry nightlife descriptions
Gushing from my screen, if I could
Use my headphones to keep
That liquid crystal from pouring in
My too needfully silent ears.)
Maybe I'll follow a painter's path:
All visuals and open dripping wet
Wrath with a noisy race. I can be a
Terrifying girl. Cut off my ears and
Be deaf to the world. Wrap me in
Canvas and chase me back into the
Woods on a starry starry night.
you know the drill

Meh.
 Sep 23 Lila Platt
Melo
These students are walking
There headphones are blaring
Disattached from the world
Blankly they are staring

I glance at the clock
Not wanting to talk
My headphones are broken
So silent i walk

Forced to find
Something that will blind
A kind of distraction
To keep from the demons in the back of my mind

Away from the fears
The wandering ears
So evil are the demons
That bring me to tears

The looming of dept
The fear of regret
Without any distraction
I cannot forget

My headphones are broken
The demons have awoken
This silence it scares me
As do the fears i have spoken

This walk is taking forever
This heat a blistering fever
Forced to be grounded
With nothing to be a deceiver

My headphones are broken
My dark thoughts have risen
The evil I try to tuck away
Anger, pain, and fear I am stricken

Finally back in my room
Protection from the lurking doom
I blast the music as loud as i can
And the demons return to their tomb
 Sep 23 Lila Platt
Matt
My headphones
Are wonderful

I can tune out
The people
That live here

My headphones
Are usually on

They let people know
I don't want to talk

The people
That live here
Really have nothing
To say

That matters much to me

Thank goodness for headphones
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