last night i dreamt
a bullet escaped from your lips and
seared its head into
the crook of my neck
and i stood there in scarlet,
my last thought before i woke
painted my veins with life,

      “i will survive this.
                i will survive you.”

even in my dreams you are the death of me
a yearning in me
begs to go back to a place
that no longer exists.
i am lost in the shadows
of time’s eternal fold,
aimlessly wandering from one world to the next.
aching to meet your ephemeral being somewhere in the Between

The Moon doesn't love me anymore,
she may even have forgotten I exist.
Just a phantom roaming the Earth,
a mere trick of an eye in the mist.

© Pagan Paul (29/11/18)
i write words on
but i know they will only bloom on the
dawn of our reunion

and i have said my farewells
to the night you left me in,
i rose like smoke
smoldering against the sun

it is dawn again,
       but i am alone
perhaps, at last, you have lost your
way to me

lost your way to me, just like i knew you would
there is something in the way you hide your fears, the way you burn your darkness
to flames
the way the shadow of your nightmares
dance across your face
the way you say you’re  
but every letter is hanging with a thread
there is something in the way you hide your fears with a ghost of a smile,
i try to believe
you’re telling me the truth

but i know what grief does,
how it changes you

this is the art of drowning,
i can see it in the way your lungs are burning
for air,
but you don’t dare scream out,
you don’t even put up a fight

the waves are consuming you,

but with all this fire you still can’t burn out an entire ocean

you can’t escape from this one
this is your fear
this is your death

this. is. how. it. goes.

Midnight Rain Oct 31
sometimes i think i can almost see
a flickering light from the corner of my sight
and i think it is hope with eyes like fire glinting
at me

but when i turn my head to look
i see nothing but a heavy
breath filled with regret
and grief floods through me again like blood

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