Wake up.
Put your mask on.
Make yourself invisble to pain.
Dont break.
Dont cry.
Dont fall.
Dont smile to much.
Dont be to happy.
Dont talk to much.
Dont look anyone in the eye.
Dont show emotion.
Dont feel..

Make yourself look perfect for a person.
Make yourself look "good enough"

Dont eat to much.
Dont talk to certain people.
Dont be friends with this person.
Dont get good grades.
Dont be better than someone else is.
Always stick below everyone one else.

Dont be noticed to much..

Go home.
Cry.
Throw something.
Make yourself look not perfect.
fall to the floor.

A dream, is only a dream.
Right?
A dream, is a figure of something that'll never be a reality.

A dream, is a breif hope.
So was said.

Is it truthfully only a figure, a brief hope, a hole to cover up pain?
Or is it simply mistaken?

A dream could become who you are.
If you take that fiure, it will turn into hope.
Hope that a future does exsist.
A future you can control, one you can make yourself.

So a dream might be a figure, a brief hope, a patch to cover the pain.


But it starts with a dream to become something great, it takes a nightmare to become something we never imagined.
-Lovey

Give me a random word and ill write about it.
Or put it in something.
It can be anything.
And ill try to make it into something :)
Just comment or message me

Every day you wake up.
Are you the same when you close your eyes at the end of the day?
Look back just the day before are things still the same they were?
Now look back a week ago.
Are things still the same?
Now do something.
Reading this right now the time you taking right this second.
The second you eyes see these words.
Are you still the same right now.
Now do something else.
Go get a picture from when you where younger.
Or even a month ago or last year whenever but a picture from some time ago.
Look into a mirror.
Stare at your reflection well,
Now look at that picture stare at yourself start at that picture for while.
After a while.
Look back into that mirror and think did things change?
What's all happened?
Ask yourself this.
Am i still the same i was just this morning?
Am i still the same i was yesterday?
Am i still the same i was a month ago?
Am i still the same i was a year ago?
Am i still the same i was before reading this?
Are you?

I know my answers now what are yours?

Breathing.
You dont realize you do it but then you think
about how you are breathing,
and you realize that you can stop.

Emotions-Their like small little magic tricks inside you.
Your happy one second and then bam their magic act begins.
Your all of the sudden a part of a life long act.
You don't have a choice your just the puppet to play with.
Once they turn their card your emotions are the play.
Your clown of card is playing them but never drops them for your emotions to be displaced.
But your clowns favorite cards are your sadness and pain.
Your stuck on strings being your puppet for a show.
Being paraded around like some kind of act.
But wait you are.
You are the only part of the act everyone comes to see.
They come to see which card of emotions is next and laugh when you get hurt once again.
No one cares to cut the strings to let you be free.
Cause then where would there puppet of tears be?
-Mickie Rouxe-

You know that feel when your eyes are closed sometimes.
Like you are falling and when you wake up all
you remember is your dream.
Ever wonder why you feel that?
Maybe its you going back to your body ever
think of it like that?
Maybe its your spirit going back to life.
Or maybe its one way of the universe telling
you you could go at any moment.

I am wrapped in a trap.**
But no longer in the trap of sadness.
It hasn't come along to ****** me up quite yet.
I'm trapped in this trap of being close to falling in love with someone,
and being in the biggest crush in the world.
It is the first time i've become so happy that i litterally have a smile on my face for hours at a time.
I am not used to smiling.
Is it possible.
That i of all people have become truthfully happy?
I went from being sad and crying.
To being insanely happy.
Withing a matter of seconds with only one thought.
Simple thoughts of a person is making me so happy.
But me being soooooooooooooo happy is making me go crazy
Every night my mind is running around thoughts of him.
Ive become weirdly happy :P

Guess thats a plus lol.

Your hurt inside.
Your cry every day
Do you feel no one cares?
Do you feel no one notices?
Do you think the scars you have no one see's
The pain yes you've come to be the perfect liar at hiding it.
You sometimes are so good you make yourself think your ok.
Hahaha.
But are you seriously ok.
Happiness is a joke.
Hope is a deathful trap.
Sadness is realistic.
Everyone says to wake up and see reality.
But no one understands this joke.
Sadness is your reality.
I was smiling.
Yeah.
Smiling me smiling.
But guess what its a joke also
But then a simple thought ****** me up.
A persons ****** up **** messed me the hell up.
I am ****** up again.
So **** this.
I am done.
If people are gonna keep messing me up then ******* all.

Be a person who makes people smile.
Not another person who makes them cry.
-mickie rouxe-

Life.
Some think its to waste.
Some take it as a fragile piece of glass.
Some take it as its meaningless.
Some take so much caution it actually ruins their chances.
Some think as life is to be lived recklessly.

It may be lived recklessly.
But how much do you miss as well.

But to much caution breaks your chances as well.

So you have a choice.
Live a free life, a non caring life, a life let go of regret and pain.
Or is that exactly what you need to live.

If we we're born with pain,sadness,depression,agony,grief,tears,heartache,and the wonders of despairing emotions.
Then why throw them away?
We're born with happiness as well,and joy,and shyness,and butterflies,and nervousness.
We're born.
Then put on the ride of emotions.
We don't quite understand them we're always happy in the beginning mostly that is.
But once your older you suddenly fall into the trap of darkness.
Your emotions finally come into play.

But others are alive.
We're here for a purpose.
No one on this world can say they aren't.
Cause you yourself wont see your reasoning of going threw years of pain maybe.
Or the worst things in the world.
Are you alive?
Are you dying?
No
Cause if your reading this then your fine.
You may cry every night.
You may cry every day multiple times.
But guess what.
You have a life.
A life some would think is a fairy tale.
When you think you have worse don't pity yourself.
Think of another that's going threw 50 times worse.
Cause no matter whats gone on for you to feel what you do now someones hurting more everyday.
No one can explain your pain that's explainable.
Everything to everyone is different.
Every single thing is just as art.
It either hurts someone more or less.
Or makes them smile more or less.
Either way there's a reason for each thing.
Never think there isn't at the moment it may feel like nothing makes sense.
Think way outside the problem find the smallest thing that's involved and that may be it.
Life is life.
Its to be lived no cried.

Everyday life and routine, is simple.
But the beautiful smiles you see on someone's face.
The little bird playing in the water after it rains.
An amazing breeze that passes by and you smell the sweetness from a flower. The millions of things we miss day by day by our simple routine are extraordinary when we come to be able to see them.
The wonderful life we have that may become dull around us, is so magical in the background with the small things we don't see.

Mindless time can pass by us without us knowing.
Mindless time doing mindless things.
We waste time so easy.
We let a thing we think is just there.
Go by mindlessly.
Why?
Time. It is precious
Time is our key.
Why are people so blind. You mindless time of texting doing whatever other thing.
Is the time you change your life.
Time is an infinite thing right?
Yes but not for one person.
One person does not hold infinite time.
It'll never be there.
Time last on and on yes.
But a person doesn't.
Time comes at a price, Yes it is a thing that is there forever.
But why waste precious time?
You are a simple human.
You are not the works of the universe.
You are a person controlled by the universes ways.
You have choices with your time.
But the universe still takes its play.
The universe is the master of the time your the one playing the game.
So instead of mindless time.
Use the time to become the best **** thing you can be.
Become your dream.
Time gives us the chance.
To prove every single thing someone says is impossible can be done.
Every impossibility is the things we need to be.

-Mickie

Mistakes-Theres no such thing.
Mistakes don't truthfully exists.
Its just a way of telling someone to them they messed up.
Mistakes don't happen.
Things happen cause they are supposed to.
They aren't mistakes cause it "wast supposed to happen".
If it happened then for some reason you we're meant to do so.
Mistakes are nothing.
Mistakes are a way for people to tell others when they've "done wrong".
By all the "mistakes" a person has done.
They aren't mistakes if the world makes you do them.
Yes we all have minds to tell us whats right and whats wrong but when things are all done is it a mistake or bound to happen.
-Mickie Rouxe-

One day i woke up at around 11 am.
I went down stairs everyone else was asleep.
I went in my kitchen.
I was going to make something to eat.
I grabbed a knife.
I stared at it.
i went in my back room and sat on a chair.
I sat there for 3 hours.
Thinking, of my mistakes, the pain,the hurt.
It was january 13th
A piece of snow started to fall.
I looked around me.
I looked at everything.
I remembered every little thing about that moment right there.
I thought to myself im to much of a coward to cut myself.
I thought wrong.
I put the knife away.
Then I looked at it again.
Everyone was still asleep..
My mum was dead asleep.
I sat there again.
On that chair.
I took the knife and started going across my wrist back and forth..
Then it broke threw.
My wrist started bleeding.
I cut further down.
From that day on i cut myself every night.
Within one week i had 100 scars on my wrist.
After that it kept adding.
I broke my vein for the first time on my birthday..
During this time i started starving myself around january 20th.
I stopped eating.
I could barely ever sleep.
The day of my 14th birthday i took that same knife and stabbed it straight threw my wrist..
Today is july 4th
we're supposed to go out tonight
I'm sitting here.
8ame.. everyones dead asleep.
I'm staring at the knife again.
I'm here to say my goodbye.
This time i look outside.
Theres a bird.
Im on the same chair.
Only different season.
For whoever finds this.
I'm sorry for the pain.
But i am dying inside every day.
So here goes the knife threw my wrist..
Goodbye world.

There's rules everyone makes that they live by.
Their morals I suppose.
They ground things that you live by, the lines you draw, the walls you build , and the bridges we burn.

We have our things that keep us "in line". We all have our past some of us try to hide. So we make new rules, we make new lines, we burn more bridges.

Everyone has an idea on who they are. A majority of the time we try to find every way to put ourself down.
We find a way on how we aren't perfect. Everyone tries to make it ok to say they aren't good at this or that.
Every person always says they are less than what someone will tell them they are good at. Worse we try to prove said person who is trying to make you look as a good person.

We get told a million things within our time of living. We all get pushed down. We all get told we aren't good enough. We all fall, we fall further than we can pick ourself up sometimes.  

There will be more people who tell us bad things about ourself than good.
The people who tell you the things that keep you up at night always end up being the people closest to you.

You will never care what a person says that you don't know much. You will  care and stay up at night remembering the words someone you love or trust said to you. You light forget it but they stick for long amounts of time.

You will always stay up at night over thinking the words you tell yourself.
You won't forget them.
Because you are yourself, your own words won't go away easily ever.

Your words are the words that dictate the future you hold. You can make yourself fall by reciting the words you stay up at night hearing.

There will always be more cruel people in the world than nice.
The one person who's the most cruel is secretly yourself.
No one will think that they are the person hurting them self the most but they are.

We all overthink on stepping out of our "comfort" zone.
Because we are scared on either what someone might say, if it'll effect how others feel about you.

We all make things a hundred times harder for our self because you'll think you aren't good enough for a person you haven't even met.

Every bridge we burn, we don't burn enough inside of us.


-Lovey

On the brink of death.
Thinking should i go?
Get it over with.
Be done and say goodbye..

Its ok to sit and cry at times. But dont sit there to long.
You have to get up and move on with your life.
Or its a matter of time till you fall and all you are is tears.
If somebody wants to walk out of your life let them,
Especially if you tried to be the best you could be,and you've done everything. If they still  want to walk away then learn its their loss not yours.
Half the people you are going to be sitting crying,and being depressed over are you going to even remember their name in 3 years?
Some people will come into your life for a life time.
Some come for a season.
You have to know what is what.
People get married to people their only supposed to there to teach you one lesson then wonder why you have so many problems in the marriage.
Then they wonder why  they can not find piece anywhere
Because people are misplacing the people whom are only supposed to come into your life to be there for a short while not an entire lifetime and it will mess the things up.
Think of a tree
You've got your leaves that fall off when the season changes.
Thats fine.
Theres a lot of people in the world who are like that.
Some people are like branches on the tree.
But once you step on your own.
They break and fall off the tree.
But once you find those few people who are the roots of your tree thats when your special.
Cause those are the people who are going no where.
Once you get your roots  you good.
Once you do let the rest go
Dont just throw people away.
If you tell the person the thing thats wrong and they try to fix it keep them.
But if they keep doing something that keeps hurting you thats a person who doesnt care you have to let them go no matter the pain.
You have to learn how to be on your own then how are you gonna learn to be with someone else.
You have your time to work on yourself.
Till the world puts someone for you to love.
-mickie rouxe-

Perfection to most is a key to being "right" to everyone else.
Perfection is almost like what you have to be.
perfection whatever the hell it is has become.more.important to worry about than who we really are inside.
Perfection doesnt last forever.
Perfection doesnt even exsist.
there will never be such a thing as someone being perfect.
we all have our things we all have our worries,our fear, our little things.
How did this "perfection" become more important than our dreams?
how did looking good enough just not to be made fun of become a reality?
When did these groups be casted just so everyone could feel lonely.
Everyday we wake up and wonder if we look right.
Or if we are gonna be made fun of again.
im on the outside of it all looking at those who worry more about what people say more than a future they hold.
After those 4 years are up and you were so worried about being "perfect" to a person who left you in three seconds ill be the one going to yail while you sitting there wondering what you did for those 4 years. So instead of worrying of words worry about your dream and catch it.-mickie rouxe-

You walk into a highschool and bam masked ball. You've got the cheer leader,the jocks,and the popular *******. Now look or here you've got the group separations. Now listen to the words the words being said. They are bullets to a heart a heart that is breaking. Everyone around us has to many labels to put everyone in. We are all out on groups by a look ,a stare,or an interest. If you are actually committed to school work cause you want to be something your the nerd or the form of the school. If you are aad then happy the next your bi polar. If you are to happy you have to be on something. If you cry ever and I mean EVER your a cry baby. If you laugh a lot or make the jokes you have to be the class clown. If you wear the brand new jeans and have the new Jordan's in the store you have to be popular. If you like acting you have to be dramatic. If you actually show emotions your the emo freaks. If you get an A on that paper people all look at you like you did something wrong because they aren't as smart as you. Everyone wonders what's wrong with these kids. Oh I don't know everyone's thrown into a labeled group and that's what you become. We change our whole life to impress a person to get out of a group we are in. Even in life, you live in a place and you are depicted by your address. You are justified by how proper you are. Everyone has their way to demean a person more and more because they feel they have the power to do so. Since when was this a human right,to take the words we do have a right to use and make these words into knifes towards other people. You don't know that persons story nor their feelings or hurt. If everyone took one day to take a break from placing people into these groups maybe you could finally began to implement the slightest bit of realization and peace. But who would do that? Take a day to give that person a break, they are all to far up in statistical ******* to realize how much hurt they are protraying

-lovey

I told a woman her child died. I told a mother her child will never be there again. I told a mother the bright beautiful dreaming girl she raised and watched grow is no longer breathing. I broke a persons soul. I told a father her princess died. I broke their soul as well. I made a promise to keep this princess alive and stand by her side no matter how much she hurt me, no matter how much she hated me at times, she wanted to **** near **** me and my friends, but I loved her. She smiled so delightly, she passed through days so peacefully. She wasn't sad truthfully she wasn't. I knew her like the back of my hand I knew every little sign every little thing about her. She wasn't sad entirely. No one can truthfully say they aren't sad deep down about something. But ive come to learn a thought, a thought of death, a thought of blood dripping down your arms, a thought of curiousity of who would care. Sometimes that thought that urge the need to find out is all it takes. The princess of my life. The light tk the worst times ever. Shes gone, no sign, no pulse, no hint of why. Her pale skin is ice. Her eyes are closer. Her hair is on the side. Her wrist on her waist. Her feet turned to the side. She fell, she fell to the ground. Her sweet voice is gone. She was a dreamer, a dreamer who actually made the dreams come true. She made life an ok thing. I don't know many who cant say she could rebuild the world if it fell. A strong girl died. A wonderious princess fell. I told the mother this princess has simply died.. The promise I made so much while ago became a thing to pursue blame. To tell a mother her child died. Well it haunts you for ever. You never get back the thing you are so delighted to have in your life. Its like ripping your life you made away from you and crushing it. Its torture.. Having a child die is one thing, having the child be yours. That's your death right there you don't life after that its only pure death from then on. The blame will mostly forever be put on me. Because of a promise I couldn't keep. But a little thing the princess taught me. Show your pain even if your high titled or looked up to cause what's a good hero with no emotion or realism. -Lovey

We all live life.
Life is a short way of saying you got you're self in a roller coaster.
Some parts are scary,some part make us smile,some parts make us scream,some parts make us dizzy.
We go up and down.
But do any of you know,you can smile when everyone else is screaming?
It's ok to step out and now he pushed down cause others aren't happy.
Break the ******* roller coaster and make your own.
We all get dizzy and fall down but dizziness goes away. We stop screaming. We get over fears and stop being scared. But you truly never can stop being happy.
You sometimes temporarily lose what it's like and that's ok.
You can't be happy all the time or you'll get bored.
We have to be sad to miss being happy.
-Lovey

Stars-there only light in the sky.
But what if there a resemblance of those who have
died showing their souls in the sky.
Painting a picture in the sky.
Make art with their light.
No matter how far down you get pushed down
to the forest of darkness.
You die with the light in your heart and are realesed.
And made once again.
Your light stays in the sky to paint your picture.
Then your welcomed back in the world for a second chance.

I have gone through the pain those whom are close know.
I have endured it all.
Theres those whom pity me or my life.
I ask for no pity of those.
Nor sadness.
I only ask as of eyes upon my passion.
My life.
It is not one to say its well.
Its not quite easy but ive dealt.
I may have broken but i musnt say im no queen.
I may feel deep pain from a time, A time called the past.
I've learned.
My past is not to consume whom I am.
My past is a story.
Its my pain i hold yes.
It still hurts me to the present day.
I've come to know my pain dearly well.
But i've turned pain.
Death defying pain into wisdom and strength.
Ive become the queen i was.
I've only became stronger through the time being.
Pain kills but also heals.

-Lovey

Tears- I feel like its all i hold.
Like one word is said,
And i burst like i cant control the way i am.
I cant hear one thing without thinking of a
million memories or things ive messed up.
There are times i feel like i am invisible
and then realize i'm not i am just the thing
that messes everything up.
Like a destructive mess..
Tears are all ive come to familirize from.
Ive cried for days and smiled so little.
Why?
I never know...
There are only few things that make me smile anymore.

Happiness so suddenly becomes crushed by the blink of an eye.
People wonder why I hate to be happy.
Because at least being destroyed you dont go threw the hurtful ride of pain.
People wonder why I hate to pieces to smile.
Cause its easier to stay in tears then be crushed again.
People wonder why I would want to be sad.
Because then I wouldn't fall and hurt so badly.
I've come used to the circle of sadness.
I used to love being happy but im scared of it..
I've become afraid of being happy.
Because when i do theres something or someone whom finds a way to break it.
When I smiles it feels amazing.
But once its crushed and turned to tears its hurts more than anything.
To know your afraid to be happy.
That is close to the worst pain to face..
-Mickie Rouxe-

There was once.
Once a time.
I was broken.
I may say I am broken.
But no, Never broken as then.
I woke up with agony of life every day.
I woke up with pain every single day.
I could feel this heart broken.
I was lost of whom I had been.
A shadow of darkness filled my skies.
All i saw were dark deep clouds of sorrow.
Despair and sorrow took over me.
The light inside my heart I once had, Began to fade.
I was a strong queen of a kingdom.
I was a well grounded strong warrior of an entire life or.
I walked a sacred ground.
I held a title of a queen.
I held the title as the warrior whom never broke.
I was known for no fear of sadness.
Apparently I had never been sad.
Til tragedy struck in the halls of love.
Each day, more and more of the forest, the kingdom i held up high.
Started to burn.
A war struck.
A war that would **** many.
I struck through long whiles of time.
The forest I had turned into a mere kingdom had simply began to fall.
The trees began to burn to the ground.
The living of those began to fade.
People died.
They simply couldn't fight on.
Many restless days were spent of nightmares.
One day.
The kingdom I built solid handedly.
Was gone.
It was dust.
Merely blew away.
I became trapped inside a slowly dark place.
I was still in light.
Finding my way through.
It was bearable.
I was alive.
But.
I ventured on.
I left the dusty palace of broken halls.
I walked across the barer of sorrow and sadness.
I ran through it.
My curiosity made me venture to far.
Into a land I began to fade into..
I became weak as I walked through.
My lit up heart.
My wonderful bliss of peace.
This forest.
This forest I thought was just mere show not over taking.
I was walking along side the one person whom survived through the war.
The war or sorrow.
It had began to win.
The person whom I walked with told me "the war did not win if your light is still in your heart."
My simple heart.
Guarded by the nature of the sticks that mended to keep it locked and safe.
Began to become dim.
It began to become to dim and dark inside of me.
One day.
I stopped to wonder.
If the forest shall consume me.
The blood of my skin dripped onto white snow.
I watched it fall.
Each drop.
Turned the snow red.
My lit up heart had been blown out.
The sticks began to break inside of me.
They became dust just as my kingdom.
I started to become to weak to keep moving forward.
Each day.
There would be hope we would find a way together out of the forest.
But each day it was crushed.
Each day, Was a back and forth game.
Of hope and tears.
Each day more blood fell on the snow paved grounds.
I became to think of death.
It became consuming of my thoughts.
The person whom I was walking by.
Was correct.
The war ended as my heart and my light broke.
As passing days went on.
Sorrow grew over me.
Pain became to consume me.
I was still strong.
I put a fight up strong.
I went through and through and kept my ground.
As much as I could.
I broke.
I mean truthfully broke.
My broken stick heart, turned to dust and blew away..
I had no heart.
It was gone.
I had a soul but a very slim soul.
The person. Whom walked aside me.
Was being trapped into the forest of dark sorrow.
I was fragile.
As night came on a weak cold day.
We began to become trapped.
Them more than me.
As i woke in the morning rise.
He simply vanished and left a note.
Telling me "I'm sorry, and goodbye at once"
I was wondered and distraught.
The person whom i became so dearly close.
Vanished.
As i went on.
On my own.
I became dearly lonely.
Day skies became more darker each and every day.
I came to my knee's.
I first cried for the first time.
I sat there on solid ice.
I was frozen.
Scars and scars began to add up on my little wrist.
The colder i got the more it felt like ice was being broke on my little wrist.
Ice became to what i was.
I walked no further.
I became a prisoner of eternal sorrow and agony.
I let my kingdom fall.
I fell to my knee's.
Darkness pushed me to the poisoning walls.
And destroyed all hope.
I became locked in chains.
Chains of eternal sorrow..
-Lovey-

Time-Time is fragile you dont know how much you have of it.
You're past is what makes you but is also some of what you need to let go and only hold on to the happiness of the past. The future is you're hope to seek happiness, you're dreams of the future time. The present is you seconds,minutes,and hours that you have now. The present is you're most precious part of the time you have cause the seconds you have now you may run out and not have a future. So keep you're present time dearly in mind and do not waste it.-mickie rouxe-

You've got your head in the clouds.
Your slowing drowning out.
You've spent you're life time stuck in a bubble to conform.
You've been forced to spend the entire time being silenced.
Being shut up, for the hell whom?
Who can know your story if you always shut up and keep quite.
Perfect, you want to be perfect?
Sweetheart you seen a robot I'm sorry to break it to you.
You have feelings treat them as gold.
You know what life feels like. Take that as you're treasure.
Why be stuck in a constant circle of being tossed around but thinking you aren't good enough cause you are actually human. You aren't perfect? No you haven't sold out to the society game. Don't be 'perfect', your wonderful,why become so fearful?
Each person on this world is another stroke of paint on the canvas, we mix well with some,and some just become runny and run through you.
So now, does a butterfly stay in one place for its entire life? Or does it show its color everywhere?-Lovey

Im counting down the days.
The days till I'm finally in your arms.
I wake up with a smile.
I sleep with a warm heart.
I smile so easily, as easy as breathing.
I'm counting the days and it's so close from now.
My hearts beating fast just thinking of you.
I don't know what is about you that I love.
You make me feel special as if I'm a princess.
You make it your job to make me smile.
You listen to every word I say.
We sit there in silence but it's perfect.
I can't wait till the day I'm finally in your arms.

-Lovey

It takes pain, sadness,tears to be any good at writing.
Whenever we are happy how many people actually write as deep?
We don't.
When you cry for hours, you think of the perfect words to make someone listen.
Actually listen to your story.
How many are 'happy' but actually lost their story?
In the world, you could cry in the street and everyone would look at you as if your crazy or walk on by.
So how do you know, if a person didn't just give up.
Every where is a competition on being seen,actually heard and helped.
-love

I need a light.
some kinda of way to tell me ill get out my darkness.
That things get better.
I need some way to know im not stuck forever.
I need a way to know im not insane.
I need a way to stop my tears.
I need a way not to break.
I need something to show me i wont be broken forever.
I need that something now.
I need something to fix me.
I need something to help me out of this.
I just need something to make me feel safe.
I just need me back.
I lost who i am.
I dont know who i am anymore.
I just need some way to make me ok again, Before i cry again forever.
I just need something to block my tears.
I just need anything to make me whole.
I just need the one thing that can show me i can stop crying.
I just need simple happiness.
For once.
Its all i want and need..-mickie-

Every season passes by with time.
We have our seasons of love,our seasons or pain,our seasons of confusion on wether we are happy or wanting to cry,and our seasons of finally smiling.
We go through our year over and over again,and just carry on.
But whom all realizes every season they've become stronger. You've learned to trust,you've learned to love,you've learned to cry,you've learned to forgive,you've learned to stand up and smile once more. You'll learn in time each seasons different,each year. You'll learn to accept being vurnable, you'll learn to fall even when you don't want to,you'll learn how to be strong,you'll learn to say no and to let go,you'll learn to accept you are not perfect,and you'll understand no one is. You'll get the fact everyone has a past,you'll become to understand we mess up time after time,you'll learn to let the guarded wall on your heart down,you'll come to terms of being ok if you get heartbroken it isn't the end of the world. You'll find out what living a little is. It's gonna be just fine if you go out with someone and break up,that's sometimes a good thing,you figure out who's right for you and whom you'll love forever eventually. You'll learn it's ok to be happy when others are not. You'll know that you are yourself and you are one person,you don't have to carry everyone's weight around you choose too. It will be ok if you adventure out on your own. It will be just fine to live on your own and know who you are. It's also just fine to be friends with those who carry you down but you'll learn to put the sheild on going down with them. Always remember you choose each day if you'll open the blinds and light in or keep them closed and be in them dim light of things.-Lovey

What happens when.
You wake up.
And forget everything.
You have no sense of who you are.
People tell you who are.
Tell you people you should know.
But you dont...
What happens when you relive every thing.
Is it all happening then?
Or is it a memory.
Is this pain from now?
Or is it from the past?
Is this hurt and pain and want and urge of death.
From now?
Is this unbareable craving of pain, the want to cut youself.
How do you know.
Whats recent and from the past..
What happens when you lose all control.
What happens when you want to die.
What happens when your in so much pain.
No one can see they need to let you go..
No one but one knows your pain.
One person, has the same pain.
What happens when you lose all want to live..
Why is everyone blind.
I am in to much pain to go on?
You wake up clueless of who you are.
Just knowing, every little memory re living it.
No one knows how bad you want to end.
No one knows the pain.
Of reliving ever little time ive been *****.
Of reliving the death of the person you loved.
Of reliving your molestation.
reliving watching your daughter die.
Reliving your hell.
No one knows...
No ones knows the pain..
What happens when you love the pain of the blood falling down your wrist again.
What happens when you want to give up?
Are you gonna be forced to live a life.
To fake your hell is not killing you already.
To fake you have a soul.
I lost my lit up heart it died with the ashes.

You are cursed with a never ending life.
Some would love this.
But why love a life.
When your accused of killing.
Your accused of a ****** you simply didnt do.
When your taken from every great thing.
When your sole purpose is to watch the people you love die.
When you watch people like casey
Blame themself.
for deaths.
death the didnt have anything to do with.
When you know they didnt.
They dont know they **** you more.
The pain from others.
**** every hope you have of a soul.
J lee died.
And the one thing i loved more than life.
Blames him own self.
A death destroyed him.
1
Not 47.
Ive seen 47.
How destroyed must i be?
Does anyone know my pain?
Do they?
No.
No one has lived my life.
Everyone would die in my shoes.
I cry.
But think how the hell strong i am.
To even consider loving you all enough to stay.
So next time you doubt me.
Think of that.
Think of why the hell i'd stay for something i hated.
If i am alive.
In a life i cant wait to ******* end..
-love