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May 2019 · 188
Magic
Lovey May 2019
Everyday life and routine, is simple.
But the beautiful smiles you see on someone's face.
The little bird playing in the water after it rains.
An amazing breeze that passes by and you smell the sweetness from a flower. The millions of things we miss day by day by our simple routine are extraordinary when we come to be able to see them.
The wonderful life we have that may become dull around us, is so magical in the background with the small things we don't see.
Aug 2016 · 508
..
Lovey Aug 2016
..
Wake up.
Put your mask on.
Make yourself invisble to pain.
Dont break.
Dont cry.
Dont fall.
Dont smile to much.
Dont be to happy.
Dont talk to much.
Dont look anyone in the eye.
Dont show emotion.
Dont feel..

Make yourself look perfect for a person.
Make yourself look "good enough"

Dont eat to much.
Dont talk to certain people.
Dont be friends with this person.
Dont get good grades.
Dont be better than someone else is.
Always stick below everyone one else.

Dont be noticed to much..

Go home.
Cry.
Throw something.
Make yourself look not perfect.
fall to the floor.
How many of you feel exactly like this.
Aug 2016 · 525
Unnoticed
Lovey Aug 2016
You're heart is a song.
You're eyes are my favorite place to get lost.
You're love is my favorite thing to sink into.
Our little talks, our smiles, our stares at each other, our silence, our story. They are all my favorite dreams.

You.
I love you, more than I thought.
Secretly you took my heart over.

-Lovey.
Aug 2016 · 540
Over think
Lovey Aug 2016
There's rules everyone makes that they live by.
Their morals I suppose.
They ground things that you live by, the lines you draw, the walls you build , and the bridges we burn.

We have our things that keep us "in line". We all have our past some of us try to hide. So we make new rules, we make new lines, we burn more bridges.

Everyone has an idea on who they are. A majority of the time we try to find every way to put ourself down.
We find a way on how we aren't perfect. Everyone tries to make it ok to say they aren't good at this or that.
Every person always says they are less than what someone will tell them they are good at. Worse we try to prove said person who is trying to make you look as a good person.

We get told a million things within our time of living. We all get pushed down. We all get told we aren't good enough. We all fall, we fall further than we can pick ourself up sometimes.  

There will be more people who tell us bad things about ourself than good.
The people who tell you the things that keep you up at night always end up being the people closest to you.

You will never care what a person says that you don't know much. You will  care and stay up at night remembering the words someone you love or trust said to you. You light forget it but they stick for long amounts of time.

You will always stay up at night over thinking the words you tell yourself.
You won't forget them.
Because you are yourself, your own words won't go away easily ever.

Your words are the words that dictate the future you hold. You can make yourself fall by reciting the words you stay up at night hearing.

There will always be more cruel people in the world than nice.
The one person who's the most cruel is secretly yourself.
No one will think that they are the person hurting them self the most but they are.

We all overthink on stepping out of our "comfort" zone.
Because we are scared on either what someone might say, if it'll effect how others feel about you.

We all make things a hundred times harder for our self because you'll think you aren't good enough for a person you haven't even met.

Every bridge we burn, we don't burn enough inside of us.


-Lovey
Jun 2016 · 563
Reality
Lovey Jun 2016
You walk into a highschool and bam masked ball. You've got the cheer leader,the jocks,and the popular *******. Now look or here you've got the group separations. Now listen to the words the words being said. They are bullets to a heart a heart that is breaking. Everyone around us has to many labels to put everyone in. We are all out on groups by a look ,a stare,or an interest. If you are actually committed to school work cause you want to be something your the nerd or the form of the school. If you are aad then happy the next your bi polar. If you are to happy you have to be on something. If you cry ever and I mean EVER your a cry baby. If you laugh a lot or make the jokes you have to be the class clown. If you wear the brand new jeans and have the new Jordan's in the store you have to be popular. If you like acting you have to be dramatic. If you actually show emotions your the emo freaks. If you get an A on that paper people all look at you like you did something wrong because they aren't as smart as you. Everyone wonders what's wrong with these kids. Oh I don't know everyone's thrown into a labeled group and that's what you become. We change our whole life to impress a person to get out of a group we are in. Even in life, you live in a place and you are depicted by your address. You are justified by how proper you are. Everyone has their way to demean a person more and more because they feel they have the power to do so. Since when was this a human right,to take the words we do have a right to use and make these words into knifes towards other people. You don't know that persons story nor their feelings or hurt. If everyone took one day to take a break from placing people into these groups maybe you could finally began to implement the slightest bit of realization and peace. But who would do that? Take a day to give that person a break, they are all to far up in statistical ******* to realize how much hurt they are protraying

-lovey
May 2016 · 829
Untitled
Lovey May 2016
Im counting down the days.
The days till I'm finally in your arms.
I wake up with a smile.
I sleep with a warm heart.
I smile so easily, as easy as breathing.
I'm counting the days and it's so close from now.
My hearts beating fast just thinking of you.
I don't know what is about you that I love.
You make me feel special as if I'm a princess.
You make it your job to make me smile.
You listen to every word I say.
We sit there in silence but it's perfect.
I can't wait till the day I'm finally in your arms.

-Lovey
May 2016 · 539
A dream
Lovey May 2016
A dream, is only a dream.
Right?
A dream, is a figure of something that'll never be a reality.

A dream, is a breif hope.
So was said.

Is it truthfully only a figure, a brief hope, a hole to cover up pain?
Or is it simply mistaken?

A dream could become who you are.
If you take that fiure, it will turn into hope.
Hope that a future does exsist.
A future you can control, one you can make yourself.

So a dream might be a figure, a brief hope, a patch to cover the pain.


But it starts with a dream to become something great, it takes a nightmare to become something we never imagined.
-Lovey
Apr 2016 · 408
Untitled
Lovey Apr 2016
You've got your head in the clouds.
Your slowing drowning out.
You've spent you're life time stuck in a bubble to conform.
You've been forced to spend the entire time being silenced.
Being shut up, for the hell whom?
Who can know your story if you always shut up and keep quite.
Perfect, you want to be perfect?
Sweetheart you seen a robot I'm sorry to break it to you.
You have feelings treat them as gold.
You know what life feels like. Take that as you're treasure.
Why be stuck in a constant circle of being tossed around but thinking you aren't good enough cause you are actually human. You aren't perfect? No you haven't sold out to the society game. Don't be 'perfect', your wonderful,why become so fearful?
Each person on this world is another stroke of paint on the canvas, we mix well with some,and some just become runny and run through you.
So now, does a butterfly stay in one place for its entire life? Or does it show its color everywhere?-Lovey
Apr 2016 · 341
Roller coaster
Lovey Apr 2016
We all live life.
Life is a short way of saying you got you're self in a roller coaster.
Some parts are scary,some part make us smile,some parts make us scream,some parts make us dizzy.
We go up and down.
But do any of you know,you can smile when everyone else is screaming?
It's ok to step out and now he pushed down cause others aren't happy.
Break the ******* roller coaster and make your own.
We all get dizzy and fall down but dizziness goes away. We stop screaming. We get over fears and stop being scared. But you truly never can stop being happy.
You sometimes temporarily lose what it's like and that's ok.
You can't be happy all the time or you'll get bored.
We have to be sad to miss being happy.
-Lovey
Apr 2016 · 375
Untitled
Lovey Apr 2016
It takes pain, sadness,tears to be any good at writing.
Whenever we are happy how many people actually write as deep?
We don't.
When you cry for hours, you think of the perfect words to make someone listen.
Actually listen to your story.
How many are 'happy' but actually lost their story?
In the world, you could cry in the street and everyone would look at you as if your crazy or walk on by.
So how do you know, if a person didn't just give up.
Every where is a competition on being seen,actually heard and helped.
-love
Apr 2016 · 475
Untitled
Lovey Apr 2016
Every season passes by with time.
We have our seasons of love,our seasons or pain,our seasons of confusion on wether we are happy or wanting to cry,and our seasons of finally smiling.
We go through our year over and over again,and just carry on.
But whom all realizes every season they've become stronger. You've learned to trust,you've learned to love,you've learned to cry,you've learned to forgive,you've learned to stand up and smile once more. You'll learn in time each seasons different,each year. You'll learn to accept being vurnable, you'll learn to fall even when you don't want to,you'll learn how to be strong,you'll learn to say no and to let go,you'll learn to accept you are not perfect,and you'll understand no one is. You'll get the fact everyone has a past,you'll become to understand we mess up time after time,you'll learn to let the guarded wall on your heart down,you'll come to terms of being ok if you get heartbroken it isn't the end of the world. You'll find out what living a little is. It's gonna be just fine if you go out with someone and break up,that's sometimes a good thing,you figure out who's right for you and whom you'll love forever eventually. You'll learn it's ok to be happy when others are not. You'll know that you are yourself and you are one person,you don't have to carry everyone's weight around you choose too. It will be ok if you adventure out on your own. It will be just fine to live on your own and know who you are. It's also just fine to be friends with those who carry you down but you'll learn to put the sheild on going down with them. Always remember you choose each day if you'll open the blinds and light in or keep them closed and be in them dim light of things.-Lovey
Oct 2015 · 748
R.i.p Lyla
Lovey Oct 2015
I told a woman her child died. I told a mother her child will never be there again. I told a mother the bright beautiful dreaming girl she raised and watched grow is no longer breathing. I broke a persons soul. I told a father her princess died. I broke their soul as well. I made a promise to keep this princess alive and stand by her side no matter how much she hurt me, no matter how much she hated me at times, she wanted to **** near **** me and my friends, but I loved her. She smiled so delightly, she passed through days so peacefully. She wasn't sad truthfully she wasn't. I knew her like the back of my hand I knew every little sign every little thing about her. She wasn't sad entirely. No one can truthfully say they aren't sad deep down about something. But ive come to learn a thought, a thought of death, a thought of blood dripping down your arms, a thought of curiousity of who would care. Sometimes that thought that urge the need to find out is all it takes. The princess of my life. The light tk the worst times ever. Shes gone, no sign, no pulse, no hint of why. Her pale skin is ice. Her eyes are closer. Her hair is on the side. Her wrist on her waist. Her feet turned to the side. She fell, she fell to the ground. Her sweet voice is gone. She was a dreamer, a dreamer who actually made the dreams come true. She made life an ok thing. I don't know many who cant say she could rebuild the world if it fell. A strong girl died. A wonderious princess fell. I told the mother this princess has simply died.. The promise I made so much while ago became a thing to pursue blame. To tell a mother her child died. Well it haunts you for ever. You never get back the thing you are so delighted to have in your life. Its like ripping your life you made away from you and crushing it. Its torture.. Having a child die is one thing, having the child be yours. That's your death right there you don't life after that its only pure death from then on. The blame will mostly forever be put on me. Because of a promise I couldn't keep. But a little thing the princess taught me. Show your pain even if your high titled or looked up to cause what's a good hero with no emotion or realism. -Lovey
The most brightest girl died from suicide yesterday. Lyla will forever be missed.
Sep 2015 · 781
Mindless
Lovey Sep 2015
Mindless time can pass by us without us knowing.
Mindless time doing mindless things.
We waste time so easy.
We let a thing we think is just there.
Go by mindlessly.
Why?
Time. It is precious
Time is our key.
Why are people so blind. You mindless time of texting doing whatever other thing.
Is the time you change your life.
Time is an infinite thing right?
Yes but not for one person.
One person does not hold infinite time.
It'll never be there.
Time last on and on yes.
But a person doesn't.
Time comes at a price, Yes it is a thing that is there forever.
But why waste precious time?
You are a simple human.
You are not the works of the universe.
You are a person controlled by the universes ways.
You have choices with your time.
But the universe still takes its play.
The universe is the master of the time your the one playing the game.
So instead of mindless time.
Use the time to become the best **** thing you can be.
Become your dream.
Time gives us the chance.
To prove every single thing someone says is impossible can be done.
Every impossibility is the things we need to be.

-Mickie
Aug 2015 · 463
Untitled
Lovey Aug 2015
What happens when.
You wake up.
And forget everything.
You have no sense of who you are.
People tell you who are.
Tell you people you should know.
But you dont...
What happens when you relive every thing.
Is it all happening then?
Or is it a memory.
Is this pain from now?
Or is it from the past?
Is this hurt and pain and want and urge of death.
From now?
Is this unbareable craving of pain, the want to cut youself.
How do you know.
Whats recent and from the past..
What happens when you lose all control.
What happens when you want to die.
What happens when your in so much pain.
No one can see they need to let you go..
No one but one knows your pain.
One person, has the same pain.
What happens when you lose all want to live..
Why is everyone blind.
I am in to much pain to go on?
You wake up clueless of who you are.
Just knowing, every little memory re living it.
No one knows how bad you want to end.
No one knows the pain.
Of reliving ever little time ive been *****.
Of reliving the death of the person you loved.
Of reliving your molestation.
reliving watching your daughter die.
Reliving your hell.
No one knows...
No ones knows the pain..
What happens when you love the pain of the blood falling down your wrist again.
What happens when you want to give up?
Are you gonna be forced to live a life.
To fake your hell is not killing you already.
To fake you have a soul.
I lost my lit up heart it died with the ashes.

You are cursed with a never ending life.
Some would love this.
But why love a life.
When your accused of killing.
Your accused of a ****** you simply didnt do.
When your taken from every great thing.
When your sole purpose is to watch the people you love die.
When you watch people like casey
Blame themself.
for deaths.
death the didnt have anything to do with.
When you know they didnt.
They dont know they **** you more.
The pain from others.
**** every hope you have of a soul.
J lee died.
And the one thing i loved more than life.
Blames him own self.
A death destroyed him.
1
Not 47.
Ive seen 47.
How destroyed must i be?
Does anyone know my pain?
Do they?
No.
No one has lived my life.
Everyone would die in my shoes.
I cry.
But think how the hell strong i am.
To even consider loving you all enough to stay.
So next time you doubt me.
Think of that.
Think of why the hell i'd stay for something i hated.
If i am alive.
In a life i cant wait to ******* end..
-love
Aug 2015 · 1.2k
Strength
Lovey Aug 2015
I have gone through the pain those whom are close know.
I have endured it all.
Theres those whom pity me or my life.
I ask for no pity of those.
Nor sadness.
I only ask as of eyes upon my passion.
My life.
It is not one to say its well.
Its not quite easy but ive dealt.
I may have broken but i musnt say im no queen.
I may feel deep pain from a time, A time called the past.
I've learned.
My past is not to consume whom I am.
My past is a story.
Its my pain i hold yes.
It still hurts me to the present day.
I've come to know my pain dearly well.
But i've turned pain.
Death defying pain into wisdom and strength.
Ive become the queen i was.
I've only became stronger through the time being.
Pain kills but also heals.

-Lovey
Aug 2015 · 2.0k
The forest
Lovey Aug 2015
There was once.
Once a time.
I was broken.
I may say I am broken.
But no, Never broken as then.
I woke up with agony of life every day.
I woke up with pain every single day.
I could feel this heart broken.
I was lost of whom I had been.
A shadow of darkness filled my skies.
All i saw were dark deep clouds of sorrow.
Despair and sorrow took over me.
The light inside my heart I once had, Began to fade.
I was a strong queen of a kingdom.
I was a well grounded strong warrior of an entire life or.
I walked a sacred ground.
I held a title of a queen.
I held the title as the warrior whom never broke.
I was known for no fear of sadness.
Apparently I had never been sad.
Til tragedy struck in the halls of love.
Each day, more and more of the forest, the kingdom i held up high.
Started to burn.
A war struck.
A war that would **** many.
I struck through long whiles of time.
The forest I had turned into a mere kingdom had simply began to fall.
The trees began to burn to the ground.
The living of those began to fade.
People died.
They simply couldn't fight on.
Many restless days were spent of nightmares.
One day.
The kingdom I built solid handedly.
Was gone.
It was dust.
Merely blew away.
I became trapped inside a slowly dark place.
I was still in light.
Finding my way through.
It was bearable.
I was alive.
But.
I ventured on.
I left the dusty palace of broken halls.
I walked across the barer of sorrow and sadness.
I ran through it.
My curiosity made me venture to far.
Into a land I began to fade into..
I became weak as I walked through.
My lit up heart.
My wonderful bliss of peace.
This forest.
This forest I thought was just mere show not over taking.
I was walking along side the one person whom survived through the war.
The war or sorrow.
It had began to win.
The person whom I walked with told me "the war did not win if your light is still in your heart."
My simple heart.
Guarded by the nature of the sticks that mended to keep it locked and safe.
Began to become dim.
It began to become to dim and dark inside of me.
One day.
I stopped to wonder.
If the forest shall consume me.
The blood of my skin dripped onto white snow.
I watched it fall.
Each drop.
Turned the snow red.
My lit up heart had been blown out.
The sticks began to break inside of me.
They became dust just as my kingdom.
I started to become to weak to keep moving forward.
Each day.
There would be hope we would find a way together out of the forest.
But each day it was crushed.
Each day, Was a back and forth game.
Of hope and tears.
Each day more blood fell on the snow paved grounds.
I became to think of death.
It became consuming of my thoughts.
The person whom I was walking by.
Was correct.
The war ended as my heart and my light broke.
As passing days went on.
Sorrow grew over me.
Pain became to consume me.
I was still strong.
I put a fight up strong.
I went through and through and kept my ground.
As much as I could.
I broke.
I mean truthfully broke.
My broken stick heart, turned to dust and blew away..
I had no heart.
It was gone.
I had a soul but a very slim soul.
The person. Whom walked aside me.
Was being trapped into the forest of dark sorrow.
I was fragile.
As night came on a weak cold day.
We began to become trapped.
Them more than me.
As i woke in the morning rise.
He simply vanished and left a note.
Telling me "I'm sorry, and goodbye at once"
I was wondered and distraught.
The person whom i became so dearly close.
Vanished.
As i went on.
On my own.
I became dearly lonely.
Day skies became more darker each and every day.
I came to my knee's.
I first cried for the first time.
I sat there on solid ice.
I was frozen.
Scars and scars began to add up on my little wrist.
The colder i got the more it felt like ice was being broke on my little wrist.
Ice became to what i was.
I walked no further.
I became a prisoner of eternal sorrow and agony.
I let my kingdom fall.
I fell to my knee's.
Darkness pushed me to the poisoning walls.
And destroyed all hope.
I became locked in chains.
Chains of eternal sorrow..
-Lovey-
Jul 2015 · 366
The circle
Lovey Jul 2015
Happiness so suddenly becomes crushed by the blink of an eye.
People wonder why I hate to be happy.
Because at least being destroyed you dont go threw the hurtful ride of pain.
People wonder why I hate to pieces to smile.
Cause its easier to stay in tears then be crushed again.
People wonder why I would want to be sad.
Because then I wouldn't fall and hurt so badly.
I've come used to the circle of sadness.
I used to love being happy but im scared of it..
I've become afraid of being happy.
Because when i do theres something or someone whom finds a way to break it.
When I smiles it feels amazing.
But once its crushed and turned to tears its hurts more than anything.
To know your afraid to be happy.
That is close to the worst pain to face..
-Mickie Rouxe-
Jul 2015 · 569
People
Lovey Jul 2015
Its ok to sit and cry at times. But dont sit there to long.
You have to get up and move on with your life.
Or its a matter of time till you fall and all you are is tears.
If somebody wants to walk out of your life let them,
Especially if you tried to be the best you could be,and you've done everything. If they still  want to walk away then learn its their loss not yours.
Half the people you are going to be sitting crying,and being depressed over are you going to even remember their name in 3 years?
Some people will come into your life for a life time.
Some come for a season.
You have to know what is what.
People get married to people their only supposed to there to teach you one lesson then wonder why you have so many problems in the marriage.
Then they wonder why  they can not find piece anywhere
Because people are misplacing the people whom are only supposed to come into your life to be there for a short while not an entire lifetime and it will mess the things up.
Think of a tree
You've got your leaves that fall off when the season changes.
Thats fine.
Theres a lot of people in the world who are like that.
Some people are like branches on the tree.
But once you step on your own.
They break and fall off the tree.
But once you find those few people who are the roots of your tree thats when your special.
Cause those are the people who are going no where.
Once you get your roots  you good.
Once you do let the rest go
Dont just throw people away.
If you tell the person the thing thats wrong and they try to fix it keep them.
But if they keep doing something that keeps hurting you thats a person who doesnt care you have to let them go no matter the pain.
You have to learn how to be on your own then how are you gonna learn to be with someone else.
You have your time to work on yourself.
Till the world puts someone for you to love.
-mickie rouxe-
Jul 2015 · 438
Time
Lovey Jul 2015
Time-Time is fragile you dont know how much you have of it.
You're past is what makes you but is also some of what you need to let go and only hold on to the happiness of the past. The future is you're hope to seek happiness, you're dreams of the future time. The present is you seconds,minutes,and hours that you have now. The present is you're most precious part of the time you have cause the seconds you have now you may run out and not have a future. So keep you're present time dearly in mind and do not waste it.-mickie rouxe-
Jul 2015 · 406
What did happen here?
Lovey Jul 2015
I cant stand my own tears.
I cant stand my own pain.
I cant stand my hurt.
I cant stand on my feet again.
I cant say im ok.
I cant stand on my own..
I cant keep it in anymore.
I cant hold everything in without bursting into tears.
Im not strong anymore.. What happened?-mickie-
Jul 2015 · 361
Untitled
Lovey Jul 2015
I need a light.
some kinda of way to tell me ill get out my darkness.
That things get better.
I need some way to know im not stuck forever.
I need a way to know im not insane.
I need a way to stop my tears.
I need a way not to break.
I need something to show me i wont be broken forever.
I need that something now.
I need something to fix me.
I need something to help me out of this.
I just need something to make me feel safe.
I just need me back.
I lost who i am.
I dont know who i am anymore.
I just need some way to make me ok again, Before i cry again forever.
I just need something to block my tears.
I just need anything to make me whole.
I just need the one thing that can show me i can stop crying.
I just need simple happiness.
For once.
Its all i want and need..-mickie-
Jul 2015 · 1.2k
perfection
Lovey Jul 2015
Perfection to most is a key to being "right" to everyone else.
Perfection is almost like what you have to be.
perfection whatever the hell it is has become.more.important to worry about than who we really are inside.
Perfection doesnt last forever.
Perfection doesnt even exsist.
there will never be such a thing as someone being perfect.
we all have our things we all have our worries,our fear, our little things.
How did this "perfection" become more important than our dreams?
how did looking good enough just not to be made fun of become a reality?
When did these groups be casted just so everyone could feel lonely.
Everyday we wake up and wonder if we look right.
Or if we are gonna be made fun of again.
im on the outside of it all looking at those who worry more about what people say more than a future they hold.
After those 4 years are up and you were so worried about being "perfect" to a person who left you in three seconds ill be the one going to yail while you sitting there wondering what you did for those 4 years. So instead of worrying of words worry about your dream and catch it.-mickie rouxe-
Jul 2015 · 740
Your wrong
Lovey Jul 2015
Help me.
I am failing.
I am being torn.
I am hiding so much behind smiles.
I am hurt.
But hiding this hurt with a smile.
Stress is tearing me down.
I'm fine right?
I should be.
Whats wrong for me to be so depressed?
But then i figured out.
Its so much stress.
I have to be perfect.
Or I get my dreams crushed.
I hate this.
I am not perfect.
So why do certain people try to make me this perfect college material thing.
I will be the first in my entire history of family to be successful.
I will be the first to not be a failure.
My mother told me when i was 11 years old of age i'd never be a musician.
She told me i'd be terrible.
She told me i'd fail.
4 years later.
I proved her wrong.
Ive become the one thing she said i'd never become.
I became to be the most successful out of everyone in my family.
I am the one now with the name thats recognizable.
I have simply proven every person wrong.
That have told me i cant do anything.
Now they say i wont ever be happy again.
I'll simply prove you wrong once again.
Just watch me.
Jul 2015 · 502
Hurt
Lovey Jul 2015
Your hurt inside.
Your cry every day
Do you feel no one cares?
Do you feel no one notices?
Do you think the scars you have no one see's
The pain yes you've come to be the perfect liar at hiding it.
You sometimes are so good you make yourself think your ok.
Hahaha.
But are you seriously ok.
Happiness is a joke.
Hope is a deathful trap.
Sadness is realistic.
Everyone says to wake up and see reality.
But no one understands this joke.
Sadness is your reality.
I was smiling.
Yeah.
Smiling me smiling.
But guess what its a joke also
But then a simple thought ****** me up.
A persons ****** up **** messed me the hell up.
I am ****** up again.
So **** this.
I am done.
If people are gonna keep messing me up then ******* all.
Jul 2015 · 330
Untitled
Lovey Jul 2015
I cant escape from you.
Ive tried.
But your always back.
You put me threw a nightmare.
No one knows your secrets or what you did.
You kept my past a secret.
You made me stay silent.
I am done now.
Secrets are going away.
You say mine i say all of yours.
Welcome to my world, You dont rule me anymore.
Dont freak out cause you lost control.
I just woke up and am ready to fight.
Jul 2015 · 557
Your back.
Lovey Jul 2015
You hurt me once
I do nothing
Hurt me twice
I notice you
Hurt me three times
Closer to a war.
Hurt me four times
Ive come insane.
Hurt me five times
You have a war.
Dont you know its not smart to start a war with a phsyco.
You've started a war with the master of blood.
Dont you know how much a fool you are.
I am the master of death.
I know you better than you know yourself.
I can destroy you.
I will ****** you in three seconds.
You come near him.
You say the simple words.
You've come to destroy this once again.
But you dont know he's as ****** up as me.
You are beat finally.
Your times come to die.
Dont start your war with a psychopath my dear.
You'll only die in seconds.
I hate you more than life.
Welcome yourself to death you little freak.
Jul 2015 · 403
Somehow.
Lovey Jul 2015
I have my questions still un answered.
I have my past still in my mind.
I have pain still i always will.
I've cried countless hours.
I would wake up in wonder of why im alive another day.
I woke up today with the first smile on my face for 2 years.
I have not cried in 5 days.
I have not shed a single tear.
I went to sleep and dreamt for the first time in a long while.
How this happened i am uncertain of the reasoning.
I have come to be at peace.
Believe it or not.
I am me.
I won the one fight i thought i would lose my life to.
But ive come to climb out of it.
Slowly.
But maybe just maybe people are right about things becoming better.
I may only have this feeling for a short time.
But i am surely glad i have it.
Right when i was at the edge of dying.
I came to finally have peace with my past.
Which is a miracle.
Thank you.
To the one person who filled the one impossible whole.
Thank you to the person who has stuck around still may not be as close but we still speak.
Thank you to the person who wrote the one poem for me that suddenly changed me.
Not for bad but pushed me towards this.
Thank you to the people who hurt me so much people say its impossible i am alive.
Thank you to those who came to me for help, cause you taught me to help myself.
Thank you to those who left me on my own, I've become strong once again.
Thank you to the dear person that's filled my whole heart and mended it since the day you met me, you kept me heart whole and from breaking, if not for you i'd never finally be ok.
Thank you for holding me while i cried, Thank you for making me smile, thank you for letting me steal your jacket :P.
Thank you for being there.
Thank you to everyone who's been there good or bad.
Jul 2015 · 499
What would you do?
Lovey Jul 2015
If i died.
Would you care to remember me?
Would you care at all?
If I was to die.
Would anyone care of my last words?
If I died.
Would a single soul notice?
If I where to die.
Would you shed a tear?
If I died.
Would you be happy?
Or sad?
If I were to die what would you regret?
Tell me now.
If I am to go.
What are the words you wished to tell me?
If there are any tell me now.
If theres a single thing you wished you would've done if i were to be gone.
Do it or say those words now.
Because I may be gone soon,
Jul 2015 · 383
Thinking.
Lovey Jul 2015
I've been constantly thinking.
But not bad thoughts, but yet it is bad.
I have been thinking of one person consistently.
But its bad because someone would be said if they knew.
I'm going crazy, because of this one person -.-
I'm non stop thinking ive never done this in a long time.
I dont know why i am.
But I know somethings happening cause the one person i dont want to hurt. Is thinking of losing me.
Around the same time ive thought of this person.
What is happening someone please help me understand.
What would this be?
Jul 2015 · 701
Would you?
Lovey Jul 2015
I love you.
But are we the same anymore?
I am not saying we shall break.
But just a mere question of wonder.
Are we?
Are we truthfully going to get threw this?
I know me as myself.
That i may be able to but it will take every piece of strength i have inside of me.
I love you.
You know i do.
I've told you almost everything of me.
Besides the one part of my past no one shall ever know besides me and j.
I've told you i trust you.
I mean that.
I do.
I've told you i'll be with you forever.
I meant that as well.
You know i will forever love you apart or together.
But I think ive become someone else new.
We we're not speaking for a few months.
And i changed.
You have been able to tell of this.
I have become who i was before.
But just stronger.
I have finally beat the stuff that killed me inside.
Now i can ignore it.
But you tell me your sad again.
This back and forthing of being sad then the other person being happy.
Isnt it tiresome?
I hope you know every word ive said I have meant.
We have been threw our fights.
We have been threw our scares.
We have been threw wiping each others tears.
Every problem you know them.
You know my addictions.
You know my life.
You know how much it compares to everyone elses.
You know the death defying things ive seen.
You know my secrets.
You've held me while i cry for hours.
You've held my wrist when all that happened.
You make me smile.
But also make me cry.
You've become my dying friend to me.
Only i tell you I love you.
You've filled the hole that he had kept in his hands.
You dont know how i feel because i hide it with a smile..
If i say goodbye...
Will you still be here?
I'm not saying goodbye.
But its again.
A mere question of wonder..
I love you.
Keep that in mind my dear.
But if i do one day say goodbye.
Please dont make this whole become empty because you know nobody could fill it again.
So please do not destroy me.
Because i'll forever be in love with you.
Jul 2015 · 390
World
Lovey Jul 2015
Lost of words.
Lost of sense of mind.
Lost.
But found as well.
My forest of captivating darkness.
My forest of sadness.
My forest of overwhelming power to keep you there.
Stuck where you are.
You have become a prisoner of hell.
You have fallen.
Theres said to be no way to get out of the burdened hell.
We all try to climb out of this forest.
We all try to see threw the harsh fogged areas of this forest.
In order to find the secret to leave and see the sun once again.
Barely breathing under the land you once ruled.
Under in this place.
You are so eger to be in the place you have ruled your entire life.
One day you suddenly fell.
A spirit came to take you.
They came and buried you under and no one can find you.
No one has found you for almost years.
No ones taken you from this hell ful place.
Till suddenly now.
Someone has dug up a whole threw the concrete.
The have pulled me up and out of the hell.
I am finally out.
I am finally ruling my world once again.
But this person does anyone know whom it is?
Jul 2015 · 448
me.
Lovey Jul 2015
me.
My life.
Ive been threw A lot.
Everyone has their fare share of pain delt to them.
Ive been a victim of more than one **** case.
I have seen things you should never see.
I have watched friend be murdered..
I have watched friends **** them self in front of me.
I have lived in hell.
With seeing things i wish i never saw.
I did start to become suicidal.
After a while.
I wondered why the had to go but i was still here to live a life i thought i didnt want.
I would write, and no one would read them.
I felt as if i didnt exsist.
I felt invisible.
My parents became more distant.
I had became very depressed.
I had seen a lot of people die.
It unfortunate yes.
I cried a lot.
A lot of tears had fallen.
I had been well "messed up".
I have gone threw so much pain.
I dont know how to deal with it at times.
Certain words make me start freaking out.
The way someone touches me can make me freak out insanely.
I barely trust anyone now.
The one person i trusted died june 16th.
I had held his wrist until he begged me to let go.
So i did.
It seems selfish of me to let go of him.
But i loved him way to much to see him in so much pain.
Now.
I still have the one person i'd run to,i'd cry on,i'd go to for everything.
But their still sad.
And i am trying to be happy.
Trying to act like nothing happened.
Because thats how i work..
But its hard to act happy.
If the one person that means so dearly much to you.
Is stuck in sadness.
How do you become happy?
Jul 2015 · 603
Water
Lovey Jul 2015
Water-Its peaceful yet warful.
It can **** you yet bring you back.
You can see all blurry reflections on the bare top.
When underneath is an entire different world of things pretty much.
Its one thing in the night you can lose your self into.
Water is most likely the one and only force of
nature thats hard enough to last a fight threw breaking.
Its the one that last forever.
And it is the only thing in the entire universe that last eternity.
Jul 2015 · 572
Writing
Lovey Jul 2015
Its just as a piece of art.
We all write and show our selves on pieces of artwork.
Our art work is writing.
We put words down to  show people our feelings.
We put our words down to make someone smile.
We put our words down to make someone fall in love.
Our words are our thoughts.
Our thoughts become into pieces of artwork.
Our thoughts that seem trapped inside we write out into words.
Our feelings turn into pieces of writings that make people cry, smile,feel your pain, or feel your love,your happiness, or your tears.
Writing is as taking a paint brush.
Our colors are letters on a board.
We take our brush.
And we brush across our canvas.
And we come with beautiful inspiring writings.
With every writing is inspiration to write more or of some type.
Writing is wondrous.
Its a relief of a way to escape your reality and turn to your diary of secrets.
Writing is one of the best ways to know someone just by their simple sentence.
Jul 2015 · 504
Him
Lovey Jul 2015
Him
I am wrapped in a trap.**
But no longer in the trap of sadness.
It hasn't come along to ****** me up quite yet.
I'm trapped in this trap of being close to falling in love with someone,
and being in the biggest crush in the world.
It is the first time i've become so happy that i litterally have a smile on my face for hours at a time.
I am not used to smiling.
Is it possible.
That i of all people have become truthfully happy?
I went from being sad and crying.
To being insanely happy.
Withing a matter of seconds with only one thought.
Simple thoughts of a person is making me so happy.
But me being soooooooooooooo happy is making me go crazy
Every night my mind is running around thoughts of him.
Ive become weirdly happy :P

Guess thats a plus lol.
Jul 2015 · 461
you
Lovey Jul 2015
you
I ask you a thousand questions every time i talk to you.
I say the most randomness things ever. :P
You called me to just tell me you like me.
Since then ive gone crazy.
You told me im pretty.
I smiled for a week.
I have five days til i see you again.
Five days til i get to see you since you told me you like me.
Five days since ive began to slimy fall in love with you.
I've counted down the days.
Because I have been wanting to see you so badly.
That i cant stop thinking of you,or talking about you.
You are whats been on my mind so much this past week its crazy.
I dont want to wait five whole days.
Or i may go more crazy about you :P.
But this feeling I am kinda loving it.
Jul 2015 · 502
Crazy
Lovey Jul 2015
When im bored.
I fall into thinking of you.
When i think of a song.
I start thinking of you.
When i talk to you.
I smile the entire time.
I talked to you for hours last night.
We talked of stupid stuff like ice cream and cotton candy.
I went to sleep with the biggest smile on my face.
Just thinking of you makes my heart beat fast.
You make me feel more alive.
You make me smile :)
You make me wake up and smile cause i see that drawing on my wall.
I'm going crazy over you.
And i love it :)
Jul 2015 · 785
tears
Lovey Jul 2015
Tears- I feel like its all i hold.
Like one word is said,
And i burst like i cant control the way i am.
I cant hear one thing without thinking of a
million memories or things ive messed up.
There are times i feel like i am invisible
and then realize i'm not i am just the thing
that messes everything up.
Like a destructive mess..
Tears are all ive come to familirize from.
Ive cried for days and smiled so little.
Why?
I never know...
There are only few things that make me smile anymore.
Jul 2015 · 556
Loss
Lovey Jul 2015
Once you lose someone.
To death or heartbreak.
You remember everything every single night.
Do your thoughts sometimes come to the end of wondering.
Wondering why.
Having the questions of what did i do to deserve this.
Thinking of the times you had.
The things they helped you in ways you didn't know you were lost in direction with.
The things you had when they were there.
The things you gained from their presence.
The fears the fought away.
Then they leave.
They end up to become gone.
But in your heart,
your mind, your soul.
You heart gained back the heartbreak,
The pain you had but it got worse.
Your mind became haunted cause their still there you can get rid of them.
They have all of you.
Your soul it became broken,
Your fears came back.
They are killing you inside.
Your lost again.
Your twisted.
You dont know where to look where to go.
Their presence wont leave you alone.
And you cry.
You scream for them back.
Your fears come to take you back.
And you have no one to fight them away.
And hold you while you cry.
How lost are you now?
How much do you heart inside?
Whos that person that is killing you inside from being gone?
Jul 2015 · 357
Falling
Lovey Jul 2015
You know that feel when your eyes are closed sometimes.
Like you are falling and when you wake up all
you remember is your dream.
Ever wonder why you feel that?
Maybe its you going back to your body ever
think of it like that?
Maybe its your spirit going back to life.
Or maybe its one way of the universe telling
you you could go at any moment.
Jul 2015 · 734
Night
Lovey Jul 2015
The night sky.
Its wondrous.
As the sun slowly goes down.
The sky becomes a painting of beautiful art.
Inspiration by wonders of colors.
The sun slowly starts to set.
And a beaming sky of glowing stars follows along side the moon.
Then you have the simple light of the pure moon shinning down.
Then theres the still silence of the night.
The time in the deep night.
You go outside.
You hear nothing.
Its silence.
Pure silence.
A captivating silence.
You lay there.
In thought.
Its peaceful.
Theres no one and there's nothing.
Just silence,the stars, and moon.
Once so easily you finally at simple peace.
Jul 2015 · 694
Life 2
Lovey Jul 2015
Life- Ive been asked what the heck life is?
What is the meaning of it we all die in the end?
Well here it is the slim understanding of it.
Yes we all die in the end of our time but what about in between?
All the memory's you can make you may think your not born for a reason but truth is you are.
Every single persons here for a reason may not know right now where you are.
But you'll find out within time.
There is no reason to take your life or say its of no value if you dont know whats coming in the future.
You may feel like giving up on life and as if you mean nothing and do not matter at all.
But how do you know if you've yet to live the future or have seen whats to come.
What about all the people you may think dont care for you or you think would do better without you.
But if you were gone you'd be hurting not just yourself and your life but everyone in it.
Everyone has times where you feel like you would be better with dying.
And being gone forever and never having to deal with anything.
Where you feel like your a waste of everyone's time but your not.
You make an impact on peoples life good or bad and no matter what
you do something good even if you did make a bad impression.
You give them something to grow on and others give you horrible pain
its your experience not anyone else's.
Your story is yours you are the author of your book dont let it end
and be a short story
let it be long have it be multiple books and not just one..
With every tear is an amazing person.
Every struggle is just a way to make you stronger may not be the ways we wish but in the end
your one of the strongest among many people.
With every memory there are smiles and tears but not matter what
both are remembered for some reason good or bad both they make
you YOU and that who you are.
No matter how you end up you are built up strong  to go threw the thing called life.
Just takes time to be unbreakable
and that means you will get demolished and rise up out of it.
You cant automatically know how
to read a book it takes time so does becoming unbreakable.
Your life isn't a fairy tale.
If i had a dime for how how many times ive said or ive heard others say they wished the could
die i'd be a billionaire.
But Disney doesn't direct your life they only direct movies something thats not real called slim happiness
-Mickie Rouxe-
my original writing of this
Jul 2015 · 425
Any word :P
Lovey Jul 2015
Give me a random word and ill write about it.
Or put it in something.
It can be anything.
And ill try to make it into something :)
Just comment or message me
Jul 2015 · 439
Random
Lovey Jul 2015
The pain of waking up and being so happy and slowly fading into a deep depression.
Is death defying.
Its like you can go back and feel falling into the trap of sadness.
Its like having a fire lit beneath your heart.
It starts burning it so slowly.
Then your heart crumbles to ashes.
That feeling hurts so badly..
I don't know why.
Cause you should be used to sadness by now right?
But some reason falling into it.
Kills me.
Jul 2015 · 1.4k
Stars
Lovey Jul 2015
Stars-there only light in the sky.
But what if there a resemblance of those who have
died showing their souls in the sky.
Painting a picture in the sky.
Make art with their light.
No matter how far down you get pushed down
to the forest of darkness.
You die with the light in your heart and are realesed.
And made once again.
Your light stays in the sky to paint your picture.
Then your welcomed back in the world for a second chance.
Jul 2015 · 455
fear
Lovey Jul 2015
Fear-You can die without fighting a single one away.
Your fear of letting go of sadness can never be done
if you dont fight it to let go.
Your fear of never being happy can never be done
if you dont let go of your sadness.
Your fears of jumping and never coming back will
never be done if all you carry is fear.
Fear may be everywhere you turn.
It can be at every end of each corner you walk to make you blocked.
Your fear may be falling out of the box your living in.
But in the end you can fall down and stand on your feet and say you lived.
Fear may be on each corner but its defeatable.
There is nothing to lose if you dont let there be.
-Mickie rouxe-
Jul 2015 · 444
My Note.....
Lovey Jul 2015
One day i woke up at around 11 am.
I went down stairs everyone else was asleep.
I went in my kitchen.
I was going to make something to eat.
I grabbed a knife.
I stared at it.
i went in my back room and sat on a chair.
I sat there for 3 hours.
Thinking, of my mistakes, the pain,the hurt.
It was january 13th
A piece of snow started to fall.
I looked around me.
I looked at everything.
I remembered every little thing about that moment right there.
I thought to myself im to much of a coward to cut myself.
I thought wrong.
I put the knife away.
Then I looked at it again.
Everyone was still asleep..
My mum was dead asleep.
I sat there again.
On that chair.
I took the knife and started going across my wrist back and forth..
Then it broke threw.
My wrist started bleeding.
I cut further down.
From that day on i cut myself every night.
Within one week i had 100 scars on my wrist.
After that it kept adding.
I broke my vein for the first time on my birthday..
During this time i started starving myself around january 20th.
I stopped eating.
I could barely ever sleep.
The day of my 14th birthday i took that same knife and stabbed it straight threw my wrist..
Today is july 4th
we're supposed to go out tonight
I'm sitting here.
8ame.. everyones dead asleep.
I'm staring at the knife again.
I'm here to say my goodbye.
This time i look outside.
Theres a bird.
Im on the same chair.
Only different season.
For whoever finds this.
I'm sorry for the pain.
But i am dying inside every day.
So here goes the knife threw my wrist..
Goodbye world.
This was from last year, funny that the next year i think of doing it again..
Jul 2015 · 296
Pain.
Lovey Jul 2015
On the brink of death.
Thinking should i go?
Get it over with.
Be done and say goodbye..
Jul 2015 · 416
Music
Lovey Jul 2015
Music-The rhythm of your life.
The expression of your emotion.
The one outlet to let go of your stress and you hard overbearing carries.
One thing to get you threw things when no one can.
The one thing a simple word
can say can change your whole day.
Music is one way for others to know exactly how
you feel.
Music is one thing you can connect with when everything's
like a piece of art
and everyone thinks differently
Jul 2015 · 308
Are You?
Lovey Jul 2015
Every day you wake up.
Are you the same when you close your eyes at the end of the day?
Look back just the day before are things still the same they were?
Now look back a week ago.
Are things still the same?
Now do something.
Reading this right now the time you taking right this second.
The second you eyes see these words.
Are you still the same right now.
Now do something else.
Go get a picture from when you where younger.
Or even a month ago or last year whenever but a picture from some time ago.
Look into a mirror.
Stare at your reflection well,
Now look at that picture stare at yourself start at that picture for while.
After a while.
Look back into that mirror and think did things change?
What's all happened?
Ask yourself this.
Am i still the same i was just this morning?
Am i still the same i was yesterday?
Am i still the same i was a month ago?
Am i still the same i was a year ago?
Am i still the same i was before reading this?
Are you?

I know my answers now what are yours?
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